Can get hard to touch, blowjob and foreplay, but not with penetration

Hey guys,

I'm a 25 year old and have been PMOing since I was like 10.

During pre-adolescence, I was always full of libido and would get off to porn at least once a day. Back then, I also remember masturbating to toughts and just my imagination (classmates, girls who lived on my street, some hot women I might had seen during the day etc.) and all worked pretty fine.

I lost my virginity when I was 16 (almost 17) and it worked properly.

As I grew up, altought, I started to become more dependant to porn so I could masturbate. Using imagination just seemed too much hard and unnecessary work. Still, no problemas down there.

After losing my virginity, I had a few intercourses and they were all sucessfull.

When I was 21, had my first (and, so far, only) grilfriend and sex was always wonderful, I felt like a machine. I could have sex for long periods and my penis wouldn't even get limb in between intercourses.

At that point, altought, I noticed my ejaculation used to take a lot of time to show up... But, I tought that was a good thing, since I wasn't experiencing any trouble with erections.

When we broke up, strange things started to happen.

I started using tinder a lot and was alway looking for novelty, wanted the next girl all the time (altought I only managed to meet like 1 in 50, I guess).

I always liked anal sex and my porn consumption kind of narrowed only to anal scenes, then I had to jump between scenes, or watch complitaion videos. In the end not even anal could arouse me no more.

The real intercourses I had were increasingly less pleasant and, for many times, I wasn't even able to reach an orgasm without using my own hands after pleasing the girl.

It escalated.

Sex was no more attractive to me.

And, this january (2019) it hit me: I COULDN'T HAVE AN ERECTION ANYMORE.

Listen, I'm not saying I could get hard to porn but not to a real girl. I COULDN'T GET HARD AT ALL.

Also, I had no libido, no sex drive, no morning wood etc.

Back then, I put the blame on finasteride 1mg I was taking since I was 19 years old. But my older brothers used to take it too, for much longer than I did and never had any problems (and nor had I, since I had wonderful sex with my former girlfriend). Never had a poor hormonal test result. T is always fine and other hormones too.

I started searching online and got to know about this nofap thing.

Tried rebooting for 70 days and felt significant improvements, but I relapsed when testing myself. Then, I wanted to test myself once again, and again, and again... It was a binge.

The funny thing is I don't feel addicted to porn. Indeed, 99% of the videos can't get me aroused, only very specific acrtresses in very specific momments of the video...

I don't think I'm addicted to porn, but - surely- I'm desensitized it!

Nowadays, even tough I'm not on nofap anymore (well, I restarted today, which isn't a signifficant amout of time, surely), my morning/night woods are stronger and present almost every day.

Now, the most important piece of information: I CAN GET ROCK HARD WHEN IN FOREPLAY, RECIEVING HANDJOBS AND SPECIALLY RECIEVING BLOWJOBS.

On those occasions, there don't seem to be any problem with me! BUT WHEN THE MANUAL STIMULATION STOPS, MY PENIS GETS LIMB AND I CAN'T PENETRATE! SOMETIMES, I MANAGE TO PENETRATE, BUT IT GETS LIMB INSID MY PARTNER!

It's like the intecourse is more like a physical activity, like running on the threadmill... I don't feel any pleasure, so - for sure - my penis won't remain hard.

Also, that "softcore" image of a regular girl naked in front of me is not enough to cause me any arousal (remember I said not even porn could do the trick anymore), which ends up like another reason why I can't keeep hard.

I also feel numb for everything in life (my work, my relationships with loved ones etc., nothing gets on to me anymore).

Have any of you guys experienced anything similar?

I don't consider myself addicted to porn, but "haituated", "numb", "desensitized" etc. Can I still diagnose myself with PIED?

Do you think I have some sort of porn induced issue? Are the events that I descrbibed typpicall?

Do you think maybe my issues are related to the finasteride I used to take?

Please, help me guys! I fell hopeless!

Thank you very much!

Ps.: English is not my first language, so I beg your pardon for grammar mistakes.