Can I forgive myself?

You have to forgive yourself, and love yourself completely, even your addict side of you. This is the only way you can heal and become whole again. It will require much time, energy, will power and strength. You made the first step by taking PMO out of your life. The next steps require introspection, and reflection on your actions and choices you have made. Every day is a success and a battle to overcome the addiction. Another day where you’ve made progress by setting a new record, or learned from your relapse. While taking time for yourself to become the best man you can be, don’t forget about the affect it may have had on your wife and child. You will have to have those hard conversations and communicate to them the wrongs you did. Perhaps by sharing your struggles and transgressions you can find forgiveness outside of yourself. Holding onto the secrecy and lies will consume you from the inside out. They lose power over you once they are released and brought out into the light. Then you can make new choices and better choices, and learn to forgive and love yourself. If you don’t, you may end up falling back into a cycle of shame, guilt, and self loathing that can lead to a relapse. It’s hard to break those old habits, but you can do it by preparing and resolving yourself to becoming a better person without them.