Can i use porn as a motivated way to reboot?

L

Lilblack2003

Fapstronaut
Ok i know the title is stupid. I have abstain from pmo for 14 days, and my best streak is 17 days, i find stopping pmo make me have more energy, talk much, but also make me feel bored, sadness, and depressed sometime i dont know why. Any way, on days 17, at that time suddenly i search for porn, that make me feel better than ever, i mean seriously, i go to school after that and it definitely make me feel better. Only when i M, and O, i feel horrible, but before that, it produce energy, something that i feel good. In short, if i dont MO, i wont have any symptoms from P at all! As long as i strong enough to resist. What do you guys think? Is that a mind trick to pmo again?
 
Yep! (That's the short answer)
PMO or MO or P or Edging are all feeding the same dopamine receptors in our brain. They are all a hit for our addiction. Our addiction masks emotions that we either haven't dealt with or don't know how or want to deal with. Sadness, loneliness, depression even boredom are painful feelings. We don't like pain so we medicate and for a brief time don't have to feel those emotions. It doesn't make them go away or address the source of those feelings so they come back. Because we've masked those feelings in a way that isn't helpful, another pack of thugs like shame, self-loathing, inadequacy and hopelessness get added to the mix. Our addiction will tell us we can make them all go away in an instant and so we repeat the cycle. Every time it takes a little bit more, we need to lie to ourselves again, and the cycle repeats.
No PMO is a critical first step in breaking this addiction. It is also just a step. We still have to address the underlying feelings that we are using the addiction to deal with. That takes time and someone safe to begin to discover and process those with.
In the mean time our mind and addiction will go into overdrive to get us to come back to the easy fix, instant gratification and peaceful numbing that is right at our fingertips.
Push through the wall and keep your streek going. Along with that find someone you can trust about what your going through and feeling. Easier said than done I know. That's why a lot of us pay a lot of money for counselors to help us climb out of this hole.
Best wishes to you.
 
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