Can I?

I’m at the very early stages of this (day 4) I’ve realised that I may be suffering from death grip as I rarely climax without the use of my hand (I just don’t get the same feeling from a vagina).
I don’t feel addicted to P but I can’t help while making love thinking about the visual aspect of P I’ve watched in the past, this mainly comes into my head because I feel like I’m not going to finish and I’m going to lose my erection.... even thinking about it puts me off and I just go off the boil.

(got a bit side tracked there, so many questions)

my real question is if I am refusing to watch P and I’m refraining from M will it damage my reboot by making love to my partner?
This woman is nothing short of amazing I love her like I never knew possible, I want to feel the intimacy, the pure pleasure of reaching climax with the woman I’m due to marry if it wasn’t for her I wouldn’t be so concerned about anything.
We have spoken about it and understandably she is quite upset even though I’ve explained the problems we are facing and the whole reason and strength for my admissions are to get help and to benefit our relationship.

I was in a toxic relationship with kids I was no longer attracted to the mother of my children and this is when the problem started, now it’s carrying over. I just want to be normal I want to finish inside her (sorry to be crude) she feels better when I do. When I don’t which is 99.9% of the time, she says it feels like I don’t find her attractive and like she isn’t good enough which is BS.

please help I’m desperate to be normal and for my lady to know how much I’m attracted to her and how much I love her.

 

I’ve put adult content block on my devices (don’t have a credit card so can’t verify my age to remove the block. Deleted twitter and insta... my trigger seems to be boredom I really feel like we are addressing my issues as a couple.
I’m feeling good about it.

 

Just a quick bump, this morning I made love with my better half again I came agonisingly close to climax (that’s my aim to make climaxing in intercourse rather than PMO the norm) the problem is ofcourse edging, there is no way I’m giving in and reverting to my hand not a chance!
Hopefully my sensation is coming back to my dick, OR is it because my body is screaming at me to release? (Like I said I am not willing to do self relief)
Should climax in sex become the norm or is it just because I haven’t tugged one out?
I don’t want to get disappointed thinking I’m being fixed to find out actually it’s just because my body can’t hold it anymore.