Can Men and Women be Friends?

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by tin_man, Nov 16, 2015.

  1. tin_man

    tin_man Fapstronaut

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    This topic has been bothering me for almost a couple of years and relates directly to my loneliness.

    I am a 25 year old male who has two female friends, whom I met both of them in high school, for almost nine-ten years. We do not hang out often or even together, based on our busy lives. On the other hand, we occasionally hang out whenever we have free time.

    My only reason for hanging out with both of them is because back then I never had a close relationship with anybody, especially right when I graduated from college. That was when I called to meet them. From then on, we enjoyed talking to each other and giving advice to one another about our current problems.

    However, all of my family members kept saying to me that I should not waste my time with them and find a girlfriend. They argued that men should only have male friends, while women should only have female friends. This made me want to search online for more information about this topic. As it turns out, everyone would state that men and women cannot be friends because there is a sexual motive behind it.

    For some reason, I "half-agreed" with what they said and also "half-disagreed" with them at the same time. My only concern is that I am afraid that if I lose my two female friends, then I have no one else to have as one of my friends.
     
    iborntobefree likes this.
  2. cuddler

    cuddler Fapstronaut

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    :D So you have 2 female friends and you are asking whether is it possible to have female friends.
    Well, ok. I think it is possible.
     
    XPiRED likes this.
  3. JoeinMD

    JoeinMD Fapstronaut

    If all involved expect and want to be platonic friends, yes - definitely -- and it is healthy.
     
  4. Ducati

    Ducati Fapstronaut

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    Here's a quote from this other other thread http://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/sex-does-not-take-away-loneliness.51343/
    Nothing wrong with having female friends. Trust me, its a lot better than being lonely.
     
    XPiRED and tin_man like this.
  5. yzeew

    yzeew Fapstronaut

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    Friend is a subjective term so take your concept of friend and if they meet that requirement they are friends :). The people you are talking to may already have their definition of friend as with the same gender thus see them as unable to be your friend solely by definition or any number of reasons.
     
  6. tin_man

    tin_man Fapstronaut

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    Thank you to everyone who has responded to this thread. I feel comfortable knowing that there is a community that supports my viewpoints.
     
  7. To be honest, you have to figure out what being a friend means first, before you call anyone your friend. I hang out with people, but I wouldn't call them my friends. Whereas there are people who I know are busy, but I call them my friend.
     
    kevinkevin19 likes this.
  8. Ameson2015

    Ameson2015 Fapstronaut

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    I mean if you've known them that long - and there's no physical/sexual attraction on the part of any of you for the others, it's possible. But unless that's the case, it's just going to mess with peoples' minds.
     
  9. Chris1052

    Chris1052 Fapstronaut

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    Yes men and women can be friends. There is a very high chance though that one party will develop feelings. I know for me if I am attracted to a girl it is hard for me to just be friends with her.
     
  10. NoBrainer

    NoBrainer Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    No disrespect to your family, but in my opinion what they've said is absolute nonsense. At the end of the day, we're all just humans- men, women, it doesn't matter. You should be able to call anyone you like your friend (if you feel it appropriate and they are reciprocating etc). I have female friends and get on just as well with them as I would with one of the boys. :D It shouldn't matter if you're sexually attracted to the same gender as some of your friends. We're all just people, who want to enjoy ourselves in the company of others.
     
    XPiRED likes this.
  11. fapequalsdeath

    fapequalsdeath Fapstronaut

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  12. Interesting question indeed. IMO, yes male and female can become just friend. And in my country culture, sometimes it is best to leave at that, because when you add romanticism then problem start to happen. When one of you start having the feeling and is not reciprocal, then be prepared to lose your female friend. my true story, but might not happen to you though.
     
  13. g2stop

    g2stop Fapstronaut

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    I agree that men and women can be friends, but it can be complicated by sexual feelings
     
  14. Kyoheix

    Kyoheix Fapstronaut

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    Situation: One person meets another person and they enjoy their time together.
    They want to fuck each other -> They are sexual partners.
    They don't want to fuck each other -> They are friends.

    What gender are they? It does NOT matter.

    Guys can develop sexual attraction to guys and girls, the same goes for girls. Saying something like "you can't be friends, you're supposed to fuck each other" is at least sexist, ridiculous and retarded as a point of view of today's society.
    You need to be honest to the other person about what you feel and that's it, it's a binary decision, you either want or don't want sex.
    With how society has turned out today, you can't even be sure that your buddy, your best friend, the guy that you know from elementary school, doesn't want to secretly have sex with you. And you're a dude and never even got suspicious about it.
     
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  15. tin_man

    tin_man Fapstronaut

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    I never really thought about just being friends with my male friends. This never occurred to me because I am always saturated with the friendship problem between men and women. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. :)
     
  16. i would rather just have friends, to just be friends, that s ruins the quality friendship sometimes, it changes things. but that's just me.
     
  17. msmahamed

    msmahamed Fapstronaut

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    Well...I wouldn't say that it's impossible to have female friends, but I believe that it's improbable. Your family members are right are based upon the sexual motive. Since you don't hang out with them as much as "normal" friends do, you can be acquaintances. Use them to find other girls that you could fuck, or stop being around them all together.

    I know that what I say might be heavy-handed, but it's the truth. If you really want to deny it, be that way. But, if you are interested why this is the way that it is, read The Rational Male by Rollo Tomassi. He breaks it down very well, from an evolutionary and societal standpoint. I promise you, reading this book will change you for the better :)
     
  18. britaxe

    britaxe Fapstronaut

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    I would quote this twice and repeat to the "so called" women at my workplace after they have observed me talking to a women, thinking i am conversing just to sow my seed. Some women are so retarded its ridiculous!
     
  19. Horusr

    Horusr Fapstronaut

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    They can be friends. But they don't because they think they can't be friends.
    If you tell yourself "We can't be friends, this friendship will become relationship" all time, that will become relationship.
    But it is different then m-m friendship.

    That idea is a problem. I can't talk to females because I am afraid. I think they think I am not there for friendship. And they think!
     
  20. himmelstoss

    himmelstoss Fapstronaut

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    What do men and women even have in common?
     

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