Can Nofap help me overcome my fetish?

C

Chris2307

New Fapstronaut
Hey there,

I‘m getting aroused of dominant women that have more physical strength than me so that they can overpower and dominate me.

The problem is that I actually want a relationship where I do have the role of the „leader“ and the woman feels safe being with me. So more the traditional type of relationship. That’s the reason why I know that this fetish isn’t real, isn’t what I really want in life. I would be happy with that dominant woman only when it comes to the sexual part, but not in the relationship at all. I don’t enjoy normal sex that much. I then always imagine the woman in front of me being the strong woman I desire. Furthermore I do have a problem with early ejaculation, that’s another reason why normal sex doesn’t make me happy.

I already installed porn blocker but because I have a special fetish the blocker can’t clear everything. I could for example go to instagram and search for muscular women. Not as destructive than a porn but still a threat.

so my questions are:

1. Does Nofap help me getting rid of that fetish?
2. does Nofap help me overcome the fast ejaculation?
3. How should I excactly do it to see the results I hope to see? Should I even not ejaculate during sex or should I just stop masturbating? I made the experience that when I didn’t ejaculate for a certain time the urge nearly completely disappeared but when I ejaculated during sex, the next days the urge came back again what made it harder to resist. Especially after 5 to 14 days after ejaculating the last time I sometimes felt such immense urges and thoughts of strong women that I had issues falling asleep or concentrate at work.
 
Most of the time after sex or ejaculation you will get the chaser effect ie needing another orgasm. This is usually when the unwanted fetishes can sneak back in. Does with me anyway. So being mindful that an hour or two after healthy sex or masterbation you’re probably going to need another blast. So stay a step head of it. Surf the urge and meditate on it . Or just dump that shit out quick in the sink or shower thinking something healthy. As for Premature Ejac, it’s in your head and once you’re out of the pattern you’ll wonder why it bothered you so much. Do some research but I found deep slow controlled breathing through my nose really helps calm the mind and pulse down. And you can pinch your helmet mid session and it kind of resets it. Whilst you switch position. Also just saying to the lady god you’re hot I’m a bit over excited today feel like I’m going to … already. Kind of takes the pressure off and get back on the breathing switch position and carry on. It doesn’t always happen straight away so celebrate that you did loads better than the last time.
I was into femdoms but not muscley ones. Just the thought of power and success I guess. I think a lot was down to stepping it up for more dopamine and adrenalin but also people in jobs that need to be slightly in control sometimes like to let go of power for an escape. Sounds a bit fight or flight though if they’re fully pinning you down. Maybe try weight training and exercise makes me feel more manly.
 
Hopefully staying away from a certain fetish for long enough will decrease the urges. But maybe you might need therapy to find out what’s behind it and resolve some issues then the fetish will hopefully die off.
 
I actually do weight training and build muscle that’s why I want to get rid of that fetish aswell because it keeps me away from building muscle haha.

i actually tried therapy but they usually say that a fetish will never disappear but I not believe in that as I think that there is always a way to reach something if you really try.

I actually made a good experience at new year, I took a girl home and we had sex at 6 in the morning and because I set the goal to not ejaculate and do Nofap, even when I have sex, I only concentrated on enjoying the sex itself. It worked really well as I could last long without ejaculating and I enjoyed to have sex aswell. I found out that when we have sex I even like to be dominant though.

what about you did you manage to overcome the fetish with dominant women?
 
Nice one dude, sounds like you smashed it. Loads better getting into the sex rather than into your own head worrying about cumming. I found once I get a decent session under the belt like you just have I’m back on my game.
I still have slips and relapses. But over the last 2 years submissive sex and porn has really declined. In fact when I’ve watched the odd soft porn I’ve found it really annoying when the bi..ch starts trying to be all degrading or bossy I’ll just tell them to F off and find something less damaging. I’ve recently cut it all out now. A big improvement from watching femdom, trans and even sissy hypno stuff years ago. I’ve always been self critical probably from having a negative dad and psychological issues. But have been working at talking to myself kindly and being encouraging. So to have someone talk to me like crap I’m not going to sit there with an erection believing their bollocks. Besides what is seriously wrong with these doms and princesses, are they that fucked up they want to abuse other humans to feel some sort of approval? Bit pathetic really arent they? Imagine if a load of people were peacefully meditating or in church and 2 women dressed up in pvc came in calling people losers and that they need to jerk off etc. They’d look like right idiots!
I like your attitude if you’ve got an issue that needs fixing then you’re going to fix it. If you tell yourself you can’t beat something then you can’t. I shopped around a lot of therapists. And my new one says there’s no reason why I can’t stop my acting out behaviours. She’s helped me figure out where they’ve come from and how I use sex to regulate a lot of aspects in my life. So there’s a mischievous side of me adhd who loves adrenaline and danger. He wants to play with fire sometimes but in a fun way. So a bit of role play with a girlfriend could be a good bit of fun. There’s a strong confident me that didn’t really get the sex life and approval he should have. So when feel naturally horny and fit likes to express himself. But as being single this can lead to picking the best escorts and preforming like a stallion ( sorry to blow my trumpet but had a lot of practise) Then there’s another side of me traumatised, angry, rejected, overwhelmed, paranoid, warn out, fed up. This guy has had enough and needs to confirm he’s shit he doesn’t deserve to be happy why should he so he self sabotages his life and confirms these negative beliefs he has about himself. It’s kind of like a mad dog that’s eating itself to get away from the pain. It’s distracting and an outlet for the built up negative energy but it’s not really going to achieve much long term.
 
That’s nice to hear that there are therapists out there that do believe in healing from a fetish and that she helps you out and you do better.

i think I have the same like you have because having that fetish feels like 2 sides in me are fighting each other. The one side is a conqueror that wants to reach high financial income, dominance and a high social status. It’s my primary side and I feel that this is what I really am. The other one comes out when I do have urges, it wants to be submissive, beaten (by strength) and even protected (laying in her strong arms). I always feel a disorder when I have my fantasies, so if that’s isn’t me.

the conqueror side I found in me when I was 20 years old (now I’m 23). Before that the other side did dominate in me. But since I found the conqueror in me he became stronger and stronger and I know that’s the real me. But from so many years of watching porn with muscular women beating men at wrestling matches I did conditionate myself I think. It’s hard to believe that a fetish where you thought so long that this is what you are isn’t real and just an imagination. But I guess people had the same when it came out that the earth is a ball and not flat.

And yeah I guess you are right, I think many women wo like to be dominant and woman that build big muscle do have some mental problems or traumas in their life that led them to be like that. I think with most women that have mental problems or traumas it is hard to have a healthy relationship with.
 
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