Can somebody please tell me how to deal with urges, according to your experience.

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by ExtremeBC1556, Jan 21, 2022.

  1. ExtremeBC1556

    ExtremeBC1556 Fapstronaut

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    I am a student in class 8 and i recently had a streak of 10 days on nofap, but on the tenth day i had so strong urge that although i could suppress it, but since it was bothering me during studying, i couldn't help but pmo to stop the irritation. So can you please suggest me how to control urges and how to not get bothered during studies while having urges.
     
  2. AlexFightsAlex

    AlexFightsAlex Fapstronaut

    The urges themselves are normal, the problem is to "listen" to them. The problem when we engage with the thoughts of the urge is that we are just one step closer to relapse, due to the neuro-chemicals that are being released in order to make the body able to have sex. So when we hit this "chemical point" it's a good idea to send the body strong messages that counteract the urges. The best resource that I can think of is a cold shower. I think this quite interesting:

    - Cold shower, until our little friends down there are shrunk haha
    - Strong exercises, such as squats, pull ups and push ups
    - A combination of the previous
    - Prayer
    - Deep and slow breathing decelerates the body in a sense. I find quite useful the breathing 4-4-4-4 (4 seconds inhaling, 4s holding, 4s exhaling, 4s with empty lungs) not only in this context but in many contexts
    - Go for a fast walk immediately

    I hope it helps. But we must take into account that the urges are going to happen, sooner or later. Don't fear them and don't "listen" to them.
     
    Last edited: Jan 21, 2022
  3. GotCaught

    GotCaught Fapstronaut

    Pre frontal cortex exercise :)
     
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  4. Mindfulness,

    you are only 13 , make sure you get away ffrom this addiction,asap
     
  5. AlexFightsAlex

    AlexFightsAlex Fapstronaut

    +1. To find nofap in such a young age is a blessing, a really powerful tool due to your youth
     
  6. ExtremeBC1556

    ExtremeBC1556 Fapstronaut

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    I have been knowing it since i was 12.
     
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  7. followtherabbit

    followtherabbit Fapstronaut

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    the basis is your emotional state, how did you feel right now .. try to connect with this (in your body)
    why do you want an external stimulus ? let s take a break go outside walk try to meet some sun light :)

    you can try this combo NSDR(to relaxe your over agitation) after a walk

    stay safe
     
  8. MarioCorrelos

    MarioCorrelos Fapstronaut

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    Find a go-to activity whenever urges appear. Something easy that takes your attention elsewhere. Some suggestions have been made above. Do you play an instrument? Pick it up and play something. Do you have a rubik's cube? Pick it up and play with it. Anything along those lines might do.
     
  9. eagle rising

    eagle rising Fapstronaut

    @ExtremeBC1556 What is an "urge"? What does it mean? Are you talking about a desire to watch P, or are you talking about a sexual urge?

    It would be in your best interest to remain calm when an urge comes. Simply remain calm. It would also be in your interest to understand that you are not the body.

    Exercise is good, as others have suggested, but it is not optimal to make it an "anti-urge medication". This will create an association. General exercise is essential as an everyday activity and you should learn to discipline yourself to keep that up. It will also be good to learn how to meditate. If you go out and search for a meditation practice on your own it will mean much more to you.
     
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  10. ExtremeBC1556

    ExtremeBC1556 Fapstronaut

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  11. eagle rising

    eagle rising Fapstronaut

    Do you want solace or a solution? Solace will make you feel better right now, but it is not sustainable. A solution might hurt you at the moment, but in the long run it will make solace seem like something so tiny. Look for a solution, don't look for comfort.
     
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  12. ExtremeBC1556

    ExtremeBC1556 Fapstronaut

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    I wan't both, but solace more for comfort and solution for sustenance.
    By urges i mean pmo urges, I am just 13 yo, how can i have sex, but sometimes i feel strong libido.
     
  13. eagle rising

    eagle rising Fapstronaut

    It's just hormones, chemical reactions. It doesn't mean necessarily that you have to have sex. It is just a function of the body. The supposed great need to have sex when you feel horny every time is made up by society. You will not know your "true" libido until you stop watching P.

    Try not to get anxious about all this. Calmly tell yourself these things. Try and stay relaxed. Live! There is so much life beyond P dude!! Lastly, don't try an suppress the urges. Let them be. Just like some annoying kid who just won't go away, you simply don't react to them and they get bored with you.
     
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  14. Install a few blockers on your phone, tell your parents about this
     
  15. ExtremeBC1556

    ExtremeBC1556 Fapstronaut

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    I have already been caught by my mother two times, i don't have father, and its not embarrassing, but i am afraid because here in india, it is really bad to talk about these things with elders.
    (btw we have the 3rd largest p watching population in the world)
     
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  16. silentmike

    silentmike Fapstronaut

    In the PMO, only P is really devastating to ourselves. The M is bad only if you:

    1. - are religious,
    2. - if you find strong shame to do it or
    3. - you are married (or having a girlfriend).

    It all starts with P. So you should do all there is to stay away from it. If you cant handle it then go on with MO., but dont do P. With time you will find that you wil have longer periods of time when you will no longer think about P, but this requires time.

    I would also recomend when you do MO (if you do), then dont fantasize about girls (or about watched P. scenes). Dont let your brain wire to that scenes. The MO should be about releasing tension, not about enjoying P.

    I am married so I am able to quit entirely PMO. Even after almost a year of no PMO I still have urges, fantazies. They come suddenly and if I let them stay longer, they are more difficult to handle. If I were not married I would allow myself to MO from time to time.

    I wish you luck and strong will.
     
  17. SalvatoresDei

    SalvatoresDei Fapstronaut

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    Pray to God. Also, you need to understand that semen gives you strength, vitality, intelligence, it enhances you, so you live a better life. But the root of all is God. Masturbation itself is a sin, and there is no wonder - there are millions of little spermatozoidz in there - each one is that strong, that it can bring a new human being on this Earth. Think about it - do you realize how much nutrients go in the creation of semen ? If you hold on to it and use it accordingly, then the food that you eat enhances you, also you have a better connection with God.
     
  18. Take a book. Plan your everyday on this book. If you get an urge, simply write in this book
    1. What you feel now.?
    2. What happens if i fap now.?
    3.what happens if i didn't fap.?
    4. Write about what caused the urge this time.?
    5. Cold shower

    This is to be done with a calm mind. This is a time consuming process.
     
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  19. eagle rising

    eagle rising Fapstronaut

    @ExtremeBC1556 BTW, I love the picture of Shiva! You will definitely fair better if you explore the infinite dimensions of what Shiva represents on a very deep level, and do that consistently with great energy and compassion.
     
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  20. ExtremeBC1556

    ExtremeBC1556 Fapstronaut

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    I am hindu man! It is not a sin in our religion, but if you do semen retention you make a perfect balance in your aura, which help attract people towards you. And rest are the strength mental stability.
     

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