Can someone Help me ?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Kornetto, Aug 18, 2018.

  1. Kornetto

    Kornetto Fapstronaut

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    Hi guys

    i am 30 M, i am on NoFap, NO Porn...
    its my day 20 without any stimulation....i have relapsed atleast 10 times on day 4-5, but this time i wanna keep it goin. i am having really tough time controlling from past 20 hours...i opened some non-nudes pics for a couple of minutes then out of guilt i closed them

    does it mean i have relapsed ? kindly help me or guide me control it....

    thanks
     
  2. JJackson

    JJackson Fapstronaut

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    Yeah, it is technically just the same as looking at porn but don't worry about it. Just learn from that fact and keep pushing forward!

    Stay strong man!
     
  3. slink123456

    slink123456 Fapstronaut

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    As long as you didn’t masturbate/cum over it then no that is not a relapse.

    Keep going, you have done well to keep 4/5 day streaks. Well done and keep it up.
     
  4. Kornetto

    Kornetto Fapstronaut

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    So does it mean i have relapsed ? should i be resetting my counter ?
     
  5. Kornetto

    Kornetto Fapstronaut

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    no i did'nt masturbate or even touched myself...just saw some non-nudes for a couple of mins then i closed it, took control before i go too much indulged in it.
    so i don't have to reset my counter right ? just avoid any kind of sexually enticing material right ?
     
  6. slink123456

    slink123456 Fapstronaut

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    Since there was no M or O in this, and it is not really P I would say no it’s not a relapse or a counter reset. It is edging though which is something you should avoid, as it will lead to MO at the very least, as well as P.
     
  7. Hi, I just created an account because I am tired of the cycle I keep falling into. I feel like I can't go more then a week without masterbating and then I lose motivation and just feel crapy. Do you have any advice for me to get started?
     
  8. Kornetto

    Kornetto Fapstronaut

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    dude i had the same problem initial days were hard to go by. i could make it to day 4-5 and after that i couldn't control it...i relapsed every 4th-5th day, then i tried again this happened atleast 10 times.... finally i just made a commitment to myself that no matter what happens i'm not doing it....as Porn and masturbation have affected my erections badly...
    so instead of focusing on porn i tried to focus on my recovery as my brain is wired to porn...
    so my advice it keep at it...keep your self focused a real women rather than virtual world thats all i can say....
     
  9. Kornetto

    Kornetto Fapstronaut

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    thanx i'll keep this in mind from now on...as i thought looking at non-nude is ok ....but i get the point its better to abstains from that also...
    thanx a lot.......
     
    Atlanticus likes this.
  10. slink123456

    slink123456 Fapstronaut

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    No worries. I understand why you did... it’s really hard not to look at pictures and all the sexy stuff. But if you avoid that too it will really help :) it’s all triggers which could lead you to relapse. But relapsing will just make you feel horrible.
     
  11. Kornetto

    Kornetto Fapstronaut

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    exactly i felt horrible whenever i relapsed. finally i have this feeling after 20 days that i can do this...i can change my life ...don't wanna screw it up...
     
  12. slink123456

    slink123456 Fapstronaut

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    20 days is great so keep it up! Yes now you have a great opportunity to do something about it and not make porn a problem in your life so keep on going :)
     
    Atlanticus likes this.
  13. JJackson

    JJackson Fapstronaut

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    Well here's my response to that: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/seven-days-now-what.183685/#post-1566190

    https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.p...rt-to-reach-long-streaks.189587/#post-1622848

    Please at least read that 1st one.

    The fact is your mind doesn't know what porn is, it just knows stimuli and it just so happens that porn is the number 1 thing that we've used. Nudes are essentially the same as porn to your mind. It still gives you the dopamine and keeps the neural pathways in your brain (the ones that you're trying to kill) alive.

    You just want to avoid anything that continues to feed that shit which can damn near be anything to some extant. For me personally, staring at fully clothed pictures of some celebrities is something I used to do because "its not porn" but it was pretty much just as bad because it gave my brain a similar reaction.

    So it really can be damn near anything and nudes are a no brainer on that list. But even things like staring at women and lusting over them like that is something you want to try and avoid.

    It doesn't mean every single small thing like that is the same as porn but you should make an effort to avoid all that stuff as much as possible. Especially things like nudes and bikini pics or anything where your just staring at a woman on a screen for the wrong reason.

    This is where what I said in those links come in because counting days doesn't represent progress properly at all. You should try your damn best to not do smaller things like stare at a woman on the street but if you do, don't make a big deal out of it, just try not to let it happen again. But at the same time if you keep doing that its definitely slowing progress but not as much as porn and blah blah blah. The counter just doesn't represent that stuff accurately.

    So basically just try to avoid all forms of lusting over women (especially nudes because that really is damn near porn) but if you do slip up just learn from it and move on. You're not suddenly "back to day 0" like some people would tell you, but it's also not like that stuff is fine either so its a balancing act.

    Just simply focus on the current day (Meaning Monday Tuesday etc, the actual days) and do your best within that day to avoid feeding those neural pathways that you're trying to kill. But if you do slip up in any sort of way weather that's full on PMO or just staring at a girl you see, just learn from the mistake and move on. No need for it to be anything beyond that. Just learn and continue forward.

    Best of luck man! Keep going and stay strong!
     
    hydroxide, Kornetto and Atlanticus like this.
  14. Atlanticus

    Atlanticus Moderator Assistant Staff Member Moderator Assistant

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    imo, the idea is to abstain from everything that gets you turned on -- until you're out of the woods.
     
  15. Atlanticus

    Atlanticus Moderator Assistant Staff Member Moderator Assistant

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    good post!!
     
    JJackson likes this.
  16. Kornetto

    Kornetto Fapstronaut

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    Thanks that was really helpful appreciate it...
    But i have a question ..? What about lusting over women who are actually in my life...like i do talk and flirt with some women...and feel genuine emotional bond...should i stop lusting over them too...
    Well its not like I'm jacking off thinking about them....it just feels like, yea i wanna be with this girl... She's the one i would wanna mate with...
    These kinda feels....
    Should be be even abstain from flirt altogether ?
    And i think phone sex is completely out of question right ?
    Kindly clear my doubt

    Thanks
     
    JJackson likes this.
  17. JJackson

    JJackson Fapstronaut

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    That's all fine, I'm just talking about staring at some chick on the street or something but if you're actually talking to them its fine. You can kinda get a feel for when you're doing things from a genuine place versus just lusting over someone so you'll know what's right and wrong just by feel.
     
    Kornetto likes this.
  18. Kornetto

    Kornetto Fapstronaut

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    Thanks a lot that was really helpful...
     
    JJackson likes this.
  19. JJackson

    JJackson Fapstronaut

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