Can women "Really" Sense a fapper?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Liam-the-dude, Sep 19, 2021.

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  1. Hero76

    Hero76 Fapstronaut

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    I hope you don't mind me quoting your post in the OP's thread.
    This. How do I get rid of this?
    I don't want to be interesting to women.
    It's something I don't want at all. In fact it demotivates me to quit porn. The last thing I want on this planet is to attract women. And the fact that if you so even glance at them unassumingly in public in their mind it means you are hitting on them. How do you make them go away?
     
  2. modernstore99

    modernstore99 Fapstronaut

    Why do you not want attention from women? Why do you not want to seem interesting to them? Why does it demotivate you from quitting porn? Do you only feel this way about women or men as well? Why do you think women perceive you as hitting on them all the time?
     
  3. Grub milk

    Grub milk Fapstronaut

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    Correlation does not equal causation
     
    modernstore99 likes this.
  4. In my humble, unprofessional, and probably completely wrong opinion, there are two extremes that may attract women in cases where the man is sexually abstinent:

    1) The man's own confidence, energy, and interest in the women; and

    2) The man's emotional need as he goes through withdrawal/self-abnegation.

    The first one is much discussed here. Women are attracted to confident men. Men are likely attracted to confident women as well--so this is not a huge surprise. No one is attracted to an emotional leach who has all the signs of co-dependency issues just to prop up his or her own sense of self-worth. A confident and independent person is just the opposite, and is attractive.

    The second one gets a little less attention. The man's emotional and/or circumstantial vulnerability may be attractive to women who have an innate instinct to be a caregiver--think of mothers and nurses.

    When my wife left me, some of those around me gave very compassionate looks toward me, as if they yearned to help me--even with the giving of physical tenderness and affection. I don't know how much "romance" was part of this--perhaps not much of that element was actually involved, though had I been an unmarried single, it certainly could have been taken in that direction. But they just wanted to help. Some women brought me food. One, who cut my hair, spent extra time stroking it, as if knowing that it was an acceptable means to help fill my need of some human touch.

    During that state of isolation and abstinence, my own emotions were unstable. I cried easily; unlike before. I felt a keen sense of loneliness, and every kindness of others seemed more marked and noticeable. A widow looked affectionately at me, and many girls tried to do what was culturally allowable to ease my situation--which wasn't a lot, as they knew I was married.

    In my opinion, it may not be possible to avoid these attentions from women, but if one truly wished to do so, the best might be to not show any emotion at all; neither confidence, nor vulnerability. And don't look at them. However, it is not a socially or physically healthful idea to suppress one's emotions, so one might wish to think twice before going down that road.
     
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  5. Hero76

    Hero76 Fapstronaut

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    Attention from women is annoying when I'm trying to reboot. Once I was walking up the stairs and this chick was twerking up the stairs, and stopping every couple of steps to try and get her behind in my face while turning backwards not so subtly to see if I was looking, trying to catch my attention. When I was trying to look away from her behind which was in my face, she took that as rejection and from that day on she started to hate me. So if I'm interesting to female strangers they're immediately sizing me up in terms of whether I am attractive or not, whether I am worth looking at or talking to. Being in the same place with a female and interacting in any way whether intentional like saying hello, or unintentional, like looking at them for more than a second is taken as me being into them and rejection may or may not be conveyed through body language. It is exhausting to be under this judgement all the time. It's socially acceptable to talk with guys being a guy but talking or looking at a female as a male is taken either like I am being romantic or sexual. But if I was a woman there would be no problem. For example every time I have casually said hello on Facebook to my female friends I was "sliding into their dms". Of course this all must be "my problem" and "I must be doing something wrong" because here on NoFap we put women up on a pedestal.
     
  6. Psalm27:1my light

    Psalm27:1my light Fapstronaut

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    Agree. But it got substantially worse at 45. This correlates when he went off the deep end with his addiction. When he got pied. I know it affected his nails. Like I said, I thought that it was insane so brought it up with my csat. She has worked with sex addicts 15 years. She said it’s not uncommon. But they don’t know why. Then magically after 35 years he begins recovery and his nails start to heal? Pied disappears? He starts growing far more hair? His voice gets deeper, jaw line stronger. This addiction eats you alive. I have seen what it does. I have seen how it changes a person, both physically and mentally. You may not want to believe it. Who would believe it would make you unable to get hard in bed with a real woman? Make you irritable, selfish, unstable. Only those who have seen it happen. Quit now, as if you life depended on it.
     
  7. Grub milk

    Grub milk Fapstronaut

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    Possibly he made other lifestyle changes aswell such as getting adequate sunshine and eating better and exercising. I understand porn messes with erection quality

    Perhaps his nails got better due to not constantly depleting zinc stores via ejaculation which is responsible for healthy nail growth among other things. The nails part is not caused by porn addiction itself its caused by busting to many nuts via fapping or sex

    Thanks for the warning im just coming off a 82 day streak and back at day 4 after relapsing to stand alone girls not actual porn (i know that still counts as PMO) which i believe im all but finished with now so im definitely starting to get this under control

    U bet my life depends on this. I have dedicated many recent years to become the strongest version of myself both physically and mentally and i wont let pleasure interfere with my task any longer
     
    Last edited: Sep 23, 2021
  8. Psalm27:1my light

    Psalm27:1my light Fapstronaut

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    You’re not married are you? It very well could be zinc deficiency because of masturbating too much..that is literally intertwined with his porn addiction. Do I think if he only watched porn and didn’t ejaculate would his nails be affected? I don’t know, because he can’t do one without the other. He’s a pmo addict. It affected his nails for whatever reason. He did not make any lifestyle changes such as getting more sun, lol or eating better ( my god I wish he’d eat better). His lifestyle changes were quitting pmo, going to group, counseling, he golfs once a week with my dad, but that just started a month ago, helps around the house more! He did stop drinking any alcohol, but he’d only just started drinking alcohol about 4 years before. I know better than he does how it’s changed him. He was too busy getting high and numbed out to see all the changes. Can I just say, it steals your life. I’ve been married to him longer than you’ve been alive. I never would’ve believed that porn and masturbation could be an addiction and affect a person the way it does. Except I lived it for 30 years, watching it, albeit without knowing at the time. I also wouldn’t have known it if he hadn’t gotten into recovery, I wouldn’t have seen the massive changes in him.
     
  9. DefendMyHeart

    DefendMyHeart Fapstronaut

    This right here.
    Prior to recovery, my husband emitted an odor that never went away. When he started recovery, after few months in, it finally did. It was so bad that even he noticed it about himself. We contributed it to hormonal issues from frequent masturbation, and the zinc deficiency makes sense
     
  10. Psalm27:1my light

    Psalm27:1my light Fapstronaut

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    That is so strange! My husband has never had an odor, lol. But I have heard other woman say this about their significant other. I have an especially good sense of smell, odor would’ve been a deal breaker and we never would’ve dated:)
     
  11. DefendMyHeart

    DefendMyHeart Fapstronaut

    I guess the reason it didn't tip me off is because a lot of guys I knew also had that weird smell, so I just assumed it was a guy thing.
     
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  12. modernstore99

    modernstore99 Fapstronaut

    Alright I understand not wanting to be objectified and checked out 24/7, but that just happens in a society. Women get the same thing all the time, except the people checking them out are often 40-50 pounds heavier than them! Take it in stride that you're someone worth the attention of others. Plenty of men go their entire lives without ever getting this.

    And if someone is mad at you because they were twerking near you, you did not want to be involved, and they subsequently don't like you, that's not a human being worth being around lmao.

    Yeah public interactions with women can be awkward. I'm very awkward myself. But as long as you just keep to yourself you're being a decent person. Approaching and talking to strangers when it's unnecessary could definitely make women uncomfortable, so maybe don't do that?? haha.

    Also their's nothing wrong with having genuine platonic friendships with women. I really encourage this when rebooting and recovering from porn abuse. It really helps humanize them and makes your life a lot better. The other day I went over to a platonic female friend's house to help her build some shit and we had a beer and talked about some of our issues for a while. Good talk. There's nothing wrong with having friendly interactions with women, but if you're talking to girls on social media you rarely/never see in real life or randomly talking to female strangers in public, that's sending the message you're acting in a romantic/sexual way. I never do either of those with women in a platonic way, and when it happens to me in public I always assume it's sexual/romantic.

    Overall, I think you're overanalyzing things too much. There's nothing wrong with lady friends, just be a chiller, be polite, and keep to yourself, and I think you'll be alright.
     
  13. greenishmoon

    greenishmoon Fapstronaut

    Yes they got an integrated CPU core just for that, you can read about it on page 45.
     
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  14. Akbarmagnus

    Akbarmagnus Fapstronaut

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    just how much zinc does one lose during one ejaculation and how much does he consume with a normal diet?
     
  15. According to online sources, the average ejaculate contains about 1 milligram of zinc. However, only about 1/3 of the zinc in food will be absorbed, which means that each ejaculation effectively creates the need for 3 milligrams of zinc in the diet.

    Now, for my math....

    Assuming that about 9% of the male body's need for zinc is for semen production, this would mean a daily intake of around 33 mg. of zinc would be the RDA for a man who ejaculates once each day. Each additional ejaculation would add about 3 mg. to this. For example, if one ejaculates five times in a day, then 45 mg. of zinc would be a good daily intake. (But I don't think I have ever gone five times in a day in my life!)

    The catch is, zinc is not the only thing lost. Replacing it will be good, but not enough to counter all of the rest of the lost resources, which include more than just minerals. Energy itself is consumed in the process, affecting mental function and metabolic pathways.
     
  16. I remember to this day how my hand would smell after an hour plus of masturbating. It’s a very distinctive smell!!
    and I have smelled that smell on others …
     
  17. Meshuga

    Meshuga Fapstronaut

    Do what I do: be so oblivious you don't notice. Are you sure they think you're hitting on them? Or do you just think they think that? Twerking in your face is a little obvious, that would make me uncomfortable too. Some people are weird.
     
    Psalm27:1my light likes this.
  18. Talz

    Talz Fapstronaut

    Sort of like a compulsive thing? I've been compulsively looking at girls for a long time now, sometimes it's like they just barely come into my field of vision and immediately I just do it way before I can really process it. Heck, way before I could even know it was a girl sometimes. It's embarrassing and I hate it and I get a lot of hate over it.
     
  19. Psalm27:1my light

    Psalm27:1my light Fapstronaut

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    Almost like they go into a trance, like they are looking at her but not actually thinking about her. And it’s for longer than would be normal, not just a glance in her direction, more like a stare and they are completely unaware they are staring.
     
  20. Branchman

    Branchman Fapstronaut

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    Can a man sense if a woman is masturbating?
    Can anybody "sense" if somebody is taking drugs, smoking, stealing, etc.?
    What you can see are the efects or reactions.
     

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