Can you give me some hope?

[arzenal]

I'm currently 24 years old and it feels like i have suffered great damage from porn. I became addicted to it 10 years ago. It never really felt like an addiction but it became a part of my life very soon. I was constantly struggling with anxiety and rejection in highschool so i have never been with a women (until yesterday but i'll explain it further below). After highschool i learned to deal with my anxiety but i still get rejected over and over again. Then i lost one of my relatives and gained 44 pounds during the grieving process. Porn was there for me and i knew that my life is sh1t but i didn't wanted to change.

Then i found some kind of spark of hope. I finally decided to take back the control of my life. I decided to quit porn and started working on my body. Then i met a girl online and it was kinda obvious that she would be open for a hookup. We talked a lot and by the time we had the date of the hookup, i already had a 1 week streak of no pmo. She was the first girl that i have been with. It went sideways and it was really awkward because i had erection problems (i wasn't rock hard) and i wasn't able to cum after 1 hour.

I waited for this for so long and it was terrible. I really like this girl and i think she's hot but it feels like that porn is messed up my stimulus-threshold. I feel horrible and i absolutely have no idea how long it will take for me to recover from this stage.

 

[Deleted Account]

I am 1 year older than you and the same thing happened to me. If you're lucky you will recover fast.
What symptoms do you have?
Can you feel arousal and have an erection when you think of sex?
Can you get hard with porn?
Do you have morning wood?

 

[arzenal]

1. Sadly not.
2. Yes, I can but i'm trying to avoid it as much as possible.
3. Depends on how much liquid i drink the night before. Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't.

Yesterday after the hookup we went to see our common friend (the girl was a friend of mine). I noticed on our way back that i was getting hard just by thinking of touching her legs but I still wasn't rock hard.

 

[Tomfer]

I'm currently 24 years old and it feels like i have suffered great damage from porn. I became addicted to it 10 years ago. It never really felt like an addiction but it became a part of my life very soon. I was constantly struggling with anxiety and rejection in highschool so i have never been with a women (until yesterday but i'll explain it further below). After highschool i learned to deal with my anxiety but i still get rejected over and over again. Then i lost one of my relatives and gained 44 pounds during the grieving process. Porn was there for me and i knew that my life is sh1t but i didn't wanted to change.

Then i found some kind of spark of hope. I finally decided to take back the control of my life. I decided to quit porn and started working on my body. Then i met a girl online and it was kinda obvious that she would be open for a hookup. We talked a lot and by the time we had the date of the hookup, i already had a 1 week streak of no pmo. She was the first girl that i have been with. It went sideways and it was really awkward because i had erection problems (i wasn't rock hard) and i wasn't able to cum after 1 hour.

I waited for this for so long and it was terrible. I really like this girl and i think she's hot but it feels like that porn is messed up my stimulus-threshold. I feel horrible and i absolutely have no idea how long it will take for me to recover from this stage.

I am you but 4 years older,
You are only on a 1 week streak, i am on a 6 month streak and i'm still recovering. I still struggle with erections, but it has improved tremendously.
I'm not saying it will take this long, but it might. Patience is key.
It differs from person to person. I couldn't even get an erection to porn anymore.
Everything WILL improve, your sex drive, your anxiety, your erections.

In the next few weeks/months you will experience a lot of ups and downs. You will go through flatlines and feel like it's all hopeless.
It WILL get better, don't just focus on this aspect of your life, focus on every aspect of your life. live healthy.
Just stay strong and give it time, whatever you do, don't give up.

 

[arzenal]

you will experience a lot of ups and downs.

I didn't mention it but i failed today because of the things mentioned above. However this 1 week felt different than my previous attempts because i didn't have any urges which was weird. Is it normal if it feels easy in the beginning? My previous attempts were really hard after the 2nd/3rd day so it's confusing.

 

[Tomfer]

I didn't mention it but i failed today because of the things mentioned above. However this 1 week felt different than my previous attempts because i didn't have any urges which was weird. Is it normal if it feels easy in the beginning? My previous attempts were really hard after the 2nd/3rd day so it's confusing.

For me personally, quitting porn and mastrubating was easy untill 100 days ( when my sex drive started returning )
I didn't have any urges for the longest time, i felt numb and empty.
Your body and mind goes through a lot during recovery, so no, it's not weird at all.

It is a very personal thing though, and everyone reacts differently.

 

[Deleted Account]

Dude, if you keep this up, you will look in the mirror in 6 months and you WILL NOT even recognize yourself. You will be a completely different person. You will be surprised, I promise you. There is a part of you that has remained hidden for so long, buried deep beneath the surface by PMO. It is waiting for you to push through this dark tunnel and once you do, you will realize a potential of human existence that you could never have imagined.
This ravine you are in right now, there is a path leading out of it, but it is a jagged path, with many obstacles. It is going to be arduous and there are going to be moments where you will be brought to your knees. Moments where you will cry out in despair "THIS CAN'T BE IT. PLEASE GOD TELL ME THIS IS NOT IT." but you will keep going, and one day you will be standing in a green meadow overlooking that ravine and a sharp rush of joy will shoot through your entire body and tears will come running down your eyes and you will know that you have made it.

 

[Agent]

Hey bro, keep going in your journey when you decide you going to stop you already are a winner there, even if you relapse, but you gotta keep going, and im not here to judge you neither the girl you like but be careful.. online dating usually has only 1 goal, having sex and then goodbye. It can become harder after you feel that, just be careful..