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Can't abstain for more than a week, any suggestion?

Discussion in 'Abstinence, Retention, and Sexual Transmutation' started by marbox, Jul 14, 2019.

  1. marbox

    marbox New Fapstronaut

    Hi everybody,
    I'm 32, I have started nofap after having problems to get an erection twice with a very hot and young girl. It has been almost 4 months since I started this challenge and I have been through a lot: mood swings, flat line, relapses, days with very strong erections and days without it. Now I feel like I have kind of managed the porn part, but i'm stuck with a more physical problem, and I would love to hear from you any suggestion or opinion.
    As I abstain from masturbation, usually the first days I have low libido and self confidence, after 3 or 4 days I feel energies and sexual desire building up. But as I approach the 7th/8th day I start to get a really strong urge to come. I can distract myself in many ways but that urge will eventually come back. I feel like I'm going to ejaculate within a second: sometimes I had little semen loss, another time I felt almost as I was going to come in plain day with other people around. I feel as my prostate needs to empty, sometimes it even burns, and sometime if I drink a couple of beers I get that feeling of prostate irritation. In this 4 months I have always had wet dreams at the 6th/7th day of strike, sometimes I just had to masturbate knowing that the wet dream would have come. So, this is my problem.. at some point during my stike I will feel as I can't control the ejaculation impulse, and one way or another I will release.

    Any suggestion? Has the same happened to anyone here?

    Cheers to everyone
    You are very nice people
  2. PeterJL

    PeterJL Fapstronaut
    NoFap Defender

    I was stuck on a three day cycle for a very long time. I'm not really sure what broke it, other than lots of practice. It's like learning to ride a bike.

    Do you have an AP? If you start to have an urge it may help to just talk about it with someone before you act.

    Cold showers may help with the irritation. Alternatively, a heated "bean sock" or "rice sock" may help- be very careful that it is not too hot. I used one of those for a while, but that was for an injury.

    Don't beat yourself up over the wet dreams- they aren't your fault. Wet dreams are better than PM.

    Other than that- is this a hard mode reboot? Are you still involved with the girl you mentioned? If the goal is to overcome PIED, and you are feel like you are about to have a wet dream on day 6/7, why not try to get an erection for her then?
  3. No, it hasn't happened (yet) but I have worried about it. Incidentally I have always wondered if I could get into a certain state and ejaculate at will. I suppose that would be both good and bad. But I would say maybe this is just part of a transitional phase for you, and if you knew you would pass though it, that it would be easier to manage. I do like the idea of letting myself feel these waves of desire/horniness that only happen during nofap. The point: it gets better. Every time I pass certain points in my streak, I feel I am in No Man's Land. But then it becomes more familiar. Let whatever happens happen at day 7 or 8. And see where it goes. You probably won't be stuck, you will just move through it.
    Deleted Account likes this.
  4. hairlesschewbacca

    hairlesschewbacca Fapstronaut

    A lot of it is mental. You have to have the willpower to not do the M. There are better days ahead of you. Your brain works in mysterious ways to try to trick you into ejaculating and going back to the P. There are 17 year olds on this forum who have insane urges from their hormones and are finding ways not to PMO. You can too. If you just tough out a couple weeks those sensations will go away.

    Since you have managed to cut out P already I’m willing to bet you are much closer than you realize to being healed! Would love to hear back from you in 90 days!

  5. marbox

    marbox New Fapstronaut


    Yes, I forgot to say I'm doing the hard mode reboot. It's good to know someone else had the same problem, on this website i've found many men saying they didn't have wet dreams for 70-100 days and that looked impossible to me.
    About the girl, she went back to her ex but I feel it was not for that problem.

    Well, I guess that's how you say.. probably it's a pretty annoying mental trick/physical adjustment that I have to overcome! I will keep abstaining and see what happens over time..

    Thanks guys!!
  6. Grey is colourless

    Grey is colourless Fapstronaut

    Practice concentration exercises. Get an analog clock and gaze at the seconds without thoughts. Or a candle or a dot small enough to see but not so big that you can move your eyes around it, 1-2metres from you. You need energy to concentrate but this will circulate yours and over time improve your attention. COmbine this with willpower you will make progress.
  7. marbox

    marbox New Fapstronaut

    Thanks for the suggestion, I will look for something that works for me
  8. Practising. I can only confirm what @Grey is colourless , @FapistMonk and @PeterJL said. It´s getting easier by trying it over and over again.
    More than that, I used my first longer streaks to intensively look into my own sexuality. This made me realize what I really want my sex life to be like, and that in turn made it easier to me to act like I really want.
    For example it was very worthfully to recognize that I won´t really miss out anything if I don´t have this daily O.
    Grey is colourless likes this.

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