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Can't approach girls I don't know

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by Deleted Account, Oct 4, 2017.

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  1. Hello,
    I am rebooting for quite a while now and I can see a lots of benefits of it. I can talk to girls in my class or girls I know for somewhere else but can't approach and talk to girls on street. I don't know what to say after I approach her. Also I wouldn't like to say something stupid or be a creep, so this might be the reason why I fear what to say.

    Can you please help me because I would really want to overcome this fear?
     
    vibemaker and SpouseofPA like this.
  2. Hitto

    Hitto Fapstronaut

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    Well I have the same fear too but I know it all starts with you not caring about what others think and taking intiative and practicing since NoFap I've realized I have cared too much what others think and it's a waste of time because you have no control over that so my advice is to put yourself out there more and don't be concerned with the outcome all you can control is how you present yourself and how you handle their reaction to you showing up it really makes no sense in taking people too seriously I'm learning this too and your brain will try to make you stop acting out of fear of looking stupid or making mistakes but in honestly there is nothing wrong about making mistakes or looking stupid as long as you realize that you need to live your own life and make your presence felt people can take it or leave also realize your not alone others still have this problem or have figured it out so you can too
     
  3. Tron22

    Tron22 Fapstronaut

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    First you will say something stupid or look creepy. Picking up girls is a skill. Same as ridding a bicycle or learning a sport. I don't know about you but I have fallen couple times when I was learning to ride a bicycle. And even now I screw up from time to time.
    Same goes for learning to talk to women. You will look like idiot and creep. You can learn something from internet videos and books to get overall idea but specific lines and timing on those lines you have to learn yourself. Testing and failing. Look at what does work and what doesn't.
    And fear? You have to face the fear. If you just cant do it then you need to get there gradually. Maybe just ask attractive women directions or what time is it. Maybe add "Have a nice day" and smile after any conversation that you will have with stranger women. Anything. You will come up with something. And when you get comfortable there come up with something new thats maybe little bit more challenging.
    And last thing, not everyone is pick up artists. So dont worry you are not weird to not be able to approach any chick you want to and get phone number 100% of the time. Even best of the best screw up from time to time.
    With that being said I have same problem maybe little bit worse :D So maybe I just talk nonsense but it seems pretty logical to me.
     
  4. SpouseofPA

    SpouseofPA Fapstronaut

    i maybe completely out of line here. But, i am the wife of a PA and id like to give you a females POV.

    First @Tron22 is right.
    you are going to say something stupid and make a fool of your self. ( but ill get back to that)

    The thing you need to remember about approaching people on the street is that they are typically in the middle of going somewhere or doing something. They are busy.
    so you already have one thing going against you.
    It is always less awkward if its people at school, or people you see frequently.

    But here's a mind blowing secret that a lot of women (now i can't speak for ALL women, but ill speak for the large groups of women in my boat) hold deep inside.... We actually like it when you are nervous. *explosion*
    i know seems crazy right?
    Being nervous, is actually a natural flattery. Its a compliment. Many women see it as, Wow he is so nervous to talk to me (or stumbling on his words or tripped) he must like me.

    In my opinion, the more nervous the better.
    Try not to sweat it. You are gonna mess it up. And sometimes they are too busy to give you the time of day right then.
    so if your really into them try learning their schedule ( not in a creepy way) but if you always see them enter XXXXX ( we will say starbucks for the story) on your walk or drive around the same time everyday. try being inside starbucks a few times so she gets used to a new person being there. then ask her if seat is taken. introduce yourself first. it always breaks the ice to simply say hi is this seat taken? ( she says no you sit) you stick your hand out and say hi my name is XXXXX nice to meet you.....? and pause.wait for her to answer her name. or just say nice to meet you. then ask her about herself. Women love to talk.
    creepers want your # in the first 3 min. men will take the time to get to know her. Ask her if she frequents there. that way you can learn more about her schedule.
    i hope this helps some.
     
  5. noonoon

    noonoon Fapstronaut

    I've never been able to "approach girls on the street". I think that's kinda hard to do well. I used to always just approach girls after I got to know them a bit, usually via friends-of-friends or school. College class is a great place to meet all sorts of girls.
     
    SpouseofPA likes this.
  6. Hitto

    Hitto Fapstronaut

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    lol I hear that girls are a reflection of what you project so if your nervous she will be nervous too and be kinda of creeped out but I see what your saying I'm tired of just living by theory and just go out there and try and not care so much about the outcome
     
    Reborn16 likes this.
  7. messanger

    messanger Fapstronaut

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    If you have a million heart points , losing 1 or 10 or even 20 seems like a negligible amount , but if you operate from a place of scarcity , that 1 heart point is gonna be the end of the world.
    So go up and say hi , and talk about something you like about them , use that as a topic of conversation. If they do not receive the sincere compliment , that is their game to play , some people just cant take compliments because they think they don't deserve it. But your job is done. You gave something positive to the world.
     
    Hitto and Knighthawk like this.
  8. krishvi

    krishvi New Fapstronaut

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    Well said!
     
  9. SpouseofPA

    SpouseofPA Fapstronaut

    Anyone who doesn't appreciate your attempt is not worth trying for.
    I know its sort of a cliche quote
    but
    "Remember, no one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
    ---Eleanor Roosevelt

    It holds a very true message though.
     
    Scared Human likes this.
  10. Scared Human

    Scared Human Fapstronaut

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    Let me tell you something man. I'm probably way worse than you. My whole life, I've only talked to one girl I met off tinder, and ended up having ED with her. I would start crying everytime I saw a girl I found really pretty.

    Well today I said fuck it and just approached this goth girl at my school. She was a bit more approachable for me because I knew we'd probably have similar interests, magick and what not, but she was still a complete stranger. All I did was go up with a big smile and ask her what her name was, then I asked if I could sit. I was nervous as fuck, like my voice was shaking, but we ended up talking for about 2 hrs, and even though I don't think she's interested in doing anything with me, that was a huge step for me

    I'd say, listen to @SpouseofPA. And then start of small by just practicing looking at and smiling at girls that look at you. Not one of those half-assed closed-mouth smiles, a full on CHEESE smile. And don't break eye contact either. And do this with everyone, old ladies and teachers included. This is a really fun thing to do because it builds your confidence and makes you feel good, and it makes the girl feel good. And if you see one of the girls you smiled at around and decide to approach her, she'll already have a good feeling about you.

    But just smile man, it feels great!
     
    Hitto and SpouseofPA like this.
  11. SpouseofPA

    SpouseofPA Fapstronaut

    Yes it does make the girls feel good too. ( yea some might get freaked out and other will be receptive. but the ones that freak out are typically the girls that have only themselves on their minds)
    couldn't agree more! @Scared Human
     
    Hitto and Scared Human like this.
  12. Thank you all for helping me!!!! I really helped me a lot. You have boosted my confidence and I really appreciate you help.

    I just want to say that noFap is responsible for turning my life better. In the past 50 days I had felt big difference in positive way.
    Also I would like to thank ( again:) ) to noFap community for encouraging me to continue my Rebboting process and answering all my questions. ;)
     
    AlwaysImproving, SpouseofPA and Hitto like this.

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