Can't find any motivation nor reason to quit

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About 2 months ago, I decided to quit porn because I had some important exams coming up. I got caught up in the stress of it all and started panicking, thinking I had adhd or some other condition. Eventually I decided that it was the porn that was the problem and decided to quit for my exams.

Since then, the exams have passed and I managed to get a streak of 31 days that I've never ever seen before, my previous longest being only 7 days. Now, I can hardly go 1 day without porn. The reason to quit has completely disappeared, and I can no longer feel that fear I had once used to drive myself to get past hard days and grit my teeth.

I keep going still, making sure to keep journaling, working out, doing more activities, reducing social media usage and all that, but ultimately when it truly comes down to the moment where my brain faces the internal strife of deciding whether or not to relapse, I have absolutely zero power to go in any direction other than porn. At this point, I'm just completely apathetic now. My porn use at this point might as well be basically at the same level as before I quit, maybe even worse and more rampant.

What do I do? How do I find the motivation, strength and drive to push myself to keep going through with this? I know in the long term, this will be good for me (no ED, less misogynistic views, not supporting a toxic industry, better mental health) but in the short term I just can't care. What should I do?
 
TinLit said:
How do I find the motivation, strength and drive to push myself to keep going through with this?
Click to expand...

Personally, I am just doing this for myself and proving to myself that I am in control of these temptations. Also, it's just the right thing to do.
 
Hey there, just came across your post and it looks like we are both new fapstronauts. Welcome to this world! I am here because I started a relationship with a beautiful man earlier this year and it turns out he has been a PA since he started searching erotic images about aged 11. He's 28 now with a hardcore habit and his long-term use has made it difficult for him to attract a partner (Im the first one he's ever been with). Tonight I was thinking I wish we'd met earlier, we could have done something about it sooner. And then I saw your post and thought, maybe if you cant be motivated to stop for yourself, maybe stop for the beautiful partner you might want to build emotional and sexual intimacy with in the future. I am discovering the hard way that relationships are a lot easier without hardcore addictions sitting in the middle of them. I love him so much, but I live with the every day possibility that his issue (and. the lying and deceit that goes with it) might cause us to break up. I hope we find a way though, and I hope you find the motivation to re-commit to this process, if not now then at some point in the future. I feel certain your life will feel lighter and more manageable. Wishing you so much luck.
 
You said it yourself. Motivation. PMO kills motivation and ambition.
I have PMO:d for 20+ years and i might very well be beyond repair. Dont do it.

Constant brainfog and no motivation or energy for anything. I did not even PMO more than twice a week at most. If i PMO i feel normal for a day and half and the fog actually lifts for a short while. My motivations comes back until that high is gone. Classic addiction.
My brain is so hooked on that massive dopamin stimuli that nothing else compares and makes me excited. My brain is basicly on standby waiting for my next fix.

It does not help that i excalated the addiction by prolonged edging (hours some times), VR-porn with extra stimuli like womens perfumes on cloths to immerse myself even more. It then escalated to Trans and Sissy.

I have tried to stop so many times i think i am affected by the Kindleing effect that someone wrote about. Three weeks without PMO makes very little difference anymore. First tries i felt better even after a week. I attemped this for many year.

I am basicly f*cked. Dont do Porn.
 
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