Can't get an orgasm while having sex - relapse

Hi, since 2 days ago I got paranoid and obsessed with prostitutes, calling them several times and wasting hours negotiating with them. I had a relapsed today with one prostitute, I was very obsessed and couldn't control myself. I just wanted to release my fury and my suffer for not having a girlfriend or for not having love, with her. I had sex 3 times with prostitutes in the last months(I'm not a sex addict), but what I noticed is that I can't have an orgasm. I can have sex with them during 30 minutes without any release. I just can have a release if a masturbate or think about pornography, but if I look to the person that I'm having sex, I can't get excited and don't feel any response in my brain. While having sex, my mind starts to think about something else and I don't feel any excitement. I just want to understand if this is related with porn addiction or is related with the fact that I don't feel any attraction to prostitutes and just feel the need to have physical contact with someone. I think that after this I never will go again to prostitutes, because I'm looking to them as objects and I'm paying for their bodies and I feel that I'm wasting money for something that I didn't even enjoy at all. I began to notice that prostitutes are persons like we, and they are a mother of someone, or a sister. It's not fair that we use their body to satisfy our sexual needs. I think that today I learnt a great lesson and I noticed that something is not well in me.

ADVICE: Sex without love and affection is mechanical sex and I can guarantee you that mechanical sex is a waste of time and energy, the same as porn.

We tend to seek love and affection through mechanical sex(sex with prostitutes or intercourse with strangers) and porn, but what we got from this is more emptiness and loneliness.
Can porn affect our brain until the point that we just can have an orgasm with porn or masturbating?
How's our respond to real sex? Can the same thing that happened to me when I had sex with a prostitute, happen to a partner?

I think that I have to understand why sometimes, I get so under control, until the point that I can't control myself. When I got 5 days or more of PMO I began to get very strong urges and fantasizing about real sex, that's why I seek prostitutes, but seems that porn and girls photos can give me more arousing than intercourses.

 

I already went to a 12 step program(SAA meetings), but I just got worst, because some women went to there just to flirt and seduce. I already went to a therapist and it didn't change nothing. I already went to church group and didn't notice that it was Opus Dei(a sect within Christian religion) and thought that god was my salvation, but I just went more bad, because I was mutilating my soul. Until finally I found nofap, Self-actualization and Self-development. I think that the answer for my problem is knowing myself and take Consciousness of realy through meditation. This is tough road as you describe and it is really. Do you know any software that can block sites in the internet?

Buda says that happiness is within us and I never thought about that before, but being aware of reality it's nothing easy and maybe we fap and do stupid things in life because we are not aware of our true self. We enter in a virtual reality to avoid suffer and emptiness, but what we got is more of that. Buda says that when you connected with realty in the void you feel real happiness and love. But it's really hard to contemplate myself and look inside. I think that I have been controlled my whole life by thoughts created by myself. Fears about the future, uncertainties about life. But are my thoughts real? Why suddenly do I got angry about something without knowing the cause of my angry? Why do I get so anxious without any reason to being?

 

I think that I have to accept loneliness and don't being afraid of that, because if I can observe my thoughts and don't react to them fapping, I think that I can handle all this, but until reach that I have many battles to fight and many negative feelings to feel. I will try to fight this with the help of people of nofap and with the help of spiritual guidance. I think that being with friends and being around people all time can help me in some way, but it can't change me at all . I believe that the only way to change myself is by myself in the complete loneliness, connected with my true feelings and so connected with all my pain and suffer. I'm not trying to fight feelings but surrender to them and just feel and observe them. It didn't work in the last days, but going to the prostitutes and watching porn in this days made me realizing that something it's not well with my true self, because I'm taking actions unconsciously against my true self and I'm living in a fantasy land where all things are made up by my thoughts.