Can't get aroused by real women

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by Chirokee, Apr 18, 2019.

  1. Chirokee

    Chirokee Fapstronaut

    Hi! My story real quick. When I was 13 I got addicted to porn and masturbated around 4-5 times a week. It was because of stressful situation at home. My dad is an alcohol addict and used to scream a lot. I couldn't last longer than a week without masturbation. Then I went to Uni and it didn't get much better. Until last May when I started to work as a waiter. At that time I was 20. Magically I stopped to masturbate but my libido went so low that I wasn't interested sexually in anything. Through the rest of the year I masturbated few times to check if l can get a boner. So every time I tried it was really hard without porn. Just to fantasies and photos of real hot girls I knew. It took me around 20-30 minutes and wasn't very satisfying. I tried once to porn and it was an instant boner. Then thoughout October to February I was in a distant relationship. We tried to have sex few times but I couldn't get it hard, even though the girl was soooo hot and she really liked to have sex. Then I ended that relationship. I got close to few girls later but didn't feel aroused at all. I started to doubt my sexuality. Now it's April. I tried to masturbate few times just for fun but it wasn't really that good. I just got tired. Tonight my friend came to me. I didn't know her intentions but all I did was to tell her how badly I feel about myself and hugged her a lot. I don't really know if she wanted to have sex with me because she has got a boyfriend. I hit the gym in January and changed my diet for better. It takes so long. I don't know what to do. I really would like to have satisfying sex experience. Meeting with girls is so stressful. Any ideas how to get out of this shitty situation?
    Brown Boy, delhiboy and hardowner like this.
  2. Theamos

    Theamos Fapstronaut

    Is porn still part of your life
  3. Chirokee

    Chirokee Fapstronaut

    No it is not. But I didn't do anything particular to stop watching porn. I just started to work as a waiter. Spend more time with people and in last 10 months I had no urges to watch porn. However my sex drive is so low since then that I am not sexually interested in anybody. It is making me so depressed.
    TimeToQuitNow and delhiboy like this.
  4. Abetterbrain

    Abetterbrain Fapstronaut

    Go see a doctor. Explain that your libido is low and can he check your hormones.
    IbrahimViking likes this.
  5. Chirokee

    Chirokee Fapstronaut

    I'll do this next week and let you know if it is a problem with hormones!
    Abetterbrain and delhiboy like this.
  6. SirErnest

    SirErnest Fapstronaut

    Many people here say there is a 'flatline' where sex drive plummets for quite a long time.
    Look it up, and try not to worry!
  7. Chirokee

    Chirokee Fapstronaut

    Yes but it is actually a year now. I don't think flatline should be so long.
    delhiboy likes this.
  8. delhiboy

    delhiboy Fapstronaut

    Its ok man, dont be so stressed. I think you are pretty normal. Get a girlfriend first get close to her and smell her hair kiss her neck and if still you feel like not doing anything more go to doctor.
    Chirokee likes this.
  9. Chirokee

    Chirokee Fapstronaut

    Okay! Thank you very much. A good word like that really helps!
    delhiboy likes this.
  10. Brown Boy

    Brown Boy Fapstronaut

    i m in same situation bro.
    went to some drs they said its psychological.
    may be it is psychological. i m trying No PMO to get my confidence back.
    delhiboy and SirErnest like this.
  11. Realitycheck

    Realitycheck Fapstronaut

    So I am on the other side - my boyfriend and I had great sex in the beginning, we are only a few months in and he battles to get aroused or stay hard!
    It makes me so insecure about myself and constantly compare myself to P to try and figure out what I can’t offer.
    He’s tried no PMO and there was a small improvement but then he relapsed and we started again!
    I wish I could better understand this but I think it is definitely psychological thanks to P from a young age! :(
    Brown Boy likes this.
  12. TimeToQuitNow

    TimeToQuitNow Fapstronaut

    You had a serious problem and it had serious consequences on you. Just keep going. It may just be a big flatline. One thing is for certain. Porn and masturbation won't help you.
  13. Sharksvv

    Sharksvv Fapstronaut

    It’s classic PIED, porn induced erectile dysfunction.

    You’ve become conditioned to only get hard to pixilated images of porn vs real women. This is an issue that results from exsessive porn viewing and masterbation.

    The only cure is NoFap, don’t even touch, only to pee and bathe and after a while, could even be a year your brain will restore itself to “factory settings” and you’ll be able to get hard with real girls.
    Lolguardup likes this.
  14. Lolguardup

    Lolguardup New Fapstronaut

    I tried to have sex with this girl and I was hard but I wasn’t fully hard and I got depressed I don’t know what to do.

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