Can't get her out of my head

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by blademaster87, Dec 30, 2019.

  1. blademaster87

    blademaster87 Fapstronaut

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    What's up guys. Been here for a while and just decided to share this with you since it is something I think about every day and it's kind of driving me crazy. I'm a law student. In 2017 I was blessed (or cursed) with a new professor. She was beautiful, inteligent, clever, funny and completely changed my life for some reason. I had such a deep connection to her. Even if she was my teacher. She is actually a few years younger than me (which is normal in universities where I live). When I was around her, I always felt different, almost like I was high. It was so good seeing her. I had a feeling there could be some kind of chemistry, she stared at me a lot, always made jokes and smiled (while sometimes giving enigmatic looks to me). The crush got harder and I unfortunately started stalking her on social media, since I couldn't man up and open up to her about how I felt(teacher-student relationship). The feeling got too big, and I ended up telling her how I felt through an e-mail (not good, not good lol). She blocked me on all social medias. I had some problems and was out of uni for the last semester. Haven't seen her since then. I'm not on social media anymore and next semester I'll be back to uni, which means I'll be seeing her and probably being her student again. I try so hard to stop thinking about her, but ocassionaly take a peek at her social media with alternate accounts (which is a weakness). I don't know about this girl. She completely smashed me but I can't stop thinking about her. Maybe I'm a sucker for pain. I wish this would end. Need some advice, my fellow nofappers...
     
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  2. CodeTalker

    CodeTalker Fapstronaut

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    I was in a similar situation before. But you must realize that you don’t know her. Your crush is on a projection of what you think she is. You most likely imagined those looks, it’s easy to get lost in our fantasy.
    Clearly it wasn’t mutual and you need to move on or you will continue to suffer. Your memory of her will vanish little by little.
     
  3. blademaster87

    blademaster87 Fapstronaut

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    It just never seem to do. Some fucked up projections I had of her. And some part of me still reasons that her lack of interest in me could change. Some rationalisation to not end up forgetting her. But why? I think I should never look at her again.
     
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  4. CodeTalker

    CodeTalker Fapstronaut

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    It will hurt now but it’s better for the long term. You will surely find someone else much better because it will be real.
     
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  5. toms_feelings

    toms_feelings New Fapstronaut

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    I get to know with this term and it's a terrible simplification. People are really different and unique and sometimes very hard to irreplaceable. The image of girls is only an illusion created by mind it means you should't obsess with your fantasies, it doesn't means however "she is the same as the other three or so billion"
     
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  6. blademaster87

    blademaster87 Fapstronaut

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    Yea I usually get this when I'm into a girl. Kind of an obssession I guess.
     
  7. she just flats out blocks you from that one email? now im wondering if she actually knew who you were.
     
  8. toms_feelings

    toms_feelings New Fapstronaut

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    that would be a nice plot twist
     
  9. blademaster87

    blademaster87 Fapstronaut

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    She blocked me on social media after I e-mailed her, how could she not know who I was? lol
     
  10. blademaster87

    blademaster87 Fapstronaut

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    Please don't feed the hope, man. :p
     
    toms_feelings likes this.
  11. it just seems to me that theres more to this story, idk. but that seems like a dick move, unless you wrote her a whole novel on your love for her.
     
  12. blademaster87

    blademaster87 Fapstronaut

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    I think it was a little "over-romantic", lol. She must have thought I'm some kind of creep. :eek:
     
  13. blademaster87

    blademaster87 Fapstronaut

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    From my personal experience women are not into that romantic expose your feelings kind of thing. Better stay cold next time.
     
  14. jesus. that is gonna be awkward if you ever see her again. but did you send that email while you were still going to class everyday and see her?
     
  15. blademaster87

    blademaster87 Fapstronaut

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    Yes, very awkward. She won't be forgetting it anytime soon. Is it too bad? I did apologize for sending the letter since I knew it was going to be awkward. Really played my cards masterfully, lol. Hopefully she doesn't feel like killing me.
     
  16. CodeTalker

    CodeTalker Fapstronaut

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    I was in love with my cutie neighbor, I was still young but I was sure she would be the one. But I was too shy to talk to her. One day though, I decided to talk to her while getting back from school, I can still remember the face she had when we crossed a bridge. My heart was pounding. We talked a bit.
    At home I was ecstatic. I had overcome my fear and thing were moving !
    So few days after, I asked her out. She said no. She didn’t even friendzoned me, it was a big nope, she wanted nothing to do with me :D
    oh boy did that hurt. I still remember that and I later realized that I romanticized everything about her. It was years ago... I saw her few years later and she wasn’t as pretty as she used to be (actually not my type at all), so I don’t feel that bad anymore.
    Still it wasn’t a good first experience.
     
  17. I think you could be right!
     
  18. Hi Blade Master. We men are all fools when it comes to love. Methinks that cultures that have arranged marriages may be the most sensible. So much of your story mirrors my own. I even thought for a moment your post was an old one of mine.
    I too have engaged in PMO and stalking. I feel your pain. Both are soul destroying and shameful activities. All my adult life, I'm 46, I have been prone to assuming my romantic feelings were reciprocated. Invariably they were not!
    Look up "limerence" perhaps you will find it useful. Don't assume that your lecturer even knows who you are. Attractive women often give of signals they are not aware of. We, lonely men, assume that there is an interest on the flimiest of evidence.
    Take care and stay connected to your friends on NoFap. Under no circumstances approach the object of your affections. Don't even enter her name into the internet search engine. I know, from bitter experience, that this is easier said than done.
    But please do try!

    Good luck.
     
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  19. Kligor

    Kligor Fapstronaut

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    I was in similar situation like you when i was in high school,just girl was in my class not teacher,anyway like you mentioned something like a deep connection.I didn't fall in love to her i just loved her more than myself at that time,she was my reason to laugh,she give strength i have lost during time,at that time i really felt alive like i have found life purpose,for me she was saint(In my mind of course,now for me no one is saint).I going out with her,but like a friends,we spend time together,every minute with her was like gold for me.I started to love school because of her.I was depressed when she was not around me,once two guys make jokes of her and i almost got in fight with those two(old me)these two never again talk with her with that tone.After some time i realized how bad she really is,she was drug user,cheat his boyfriend,she lied to me almost everytime but i was blind to see because i love her,we talk about it to many times but it makes no effect on her to change.After few months of fighting not to lose her i got extreme rage attacks i got intro verbal brawls with her and few more girls(her friends) and i end that story.I was angry half year,i was never such angry and i let my mind to forget her because she never done anything good for me instead of fucking me.
     
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  20. MuscularSherlockHolmes

    MuscularSherlockHolmes Fapstronaut

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    Wise words... OP should listen.
     
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