I have learned to question my feelings... Sometimes we create a bunch of things in our heads that simply do not exist. And to keep things more to myself, the hardest part was putting out these feelings to the world, it created an avalanche of events that caused me a lot of pain.
Why is love like that? Why when you truly love someone you get treated like that? And then we get called creeps and jerks who don't know how to treat women!!!! Even if it's going to make us stronger, it's not what our heart desires.
I honestly believe that porn addiction leads to women addiction. I'd obsess over women that I think are 'perfect' whenever I was in pmo mode, but after a few days off pmo I feel like those obsessions were stupid. I'm not sure why pmo has these weird effects on men, but its definitely not good.
Still thinking about her... Never looked her up on the internet again (completely abandoned social media), but did saw her on the street last week. Sometimes it feels like the crush will never go away. It's been more than 3 years. The limerence isn't fading away.
Go to a local codependency anonymous meeting. Or maybe look up the word codependency. Some characteristics is giving someone a god-like pedestal, glorifying someone and ignoring their flaws, depending on someone for good feelings. It could give you a start to changing this behavior if you think you need change.
