Can't get through friday evening

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by legolas_01, Sep 24, 2017.

  1. legolas_01

    legolas_01 Fapstronaut

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    Hi everyone,

    It's been five weeks that I relapse every time the same day of the week. Each Friday evening, I relapse before sleeping. it's uncontrollable. It's pretty easy to resist on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday but I fail on Friday. Also, I binge on Saturday and maybe Sunday then I restart the loop. My weekend is pretty destroyed in this case. I think that I fail on Friday evening because I feel really lonely and I can't tell to myself that I will meet girls the next day at college so it's not a big deal if I masturbate. All the week, I see INCREDIBLY beautiful girls and I tell myself that I am not enough good for them so on friday night I release on masturbation all the pressure accumulated during the week. It's really frustrating to fail at day 5. All the week I feel really happy because of Nofap and I tell myself that it's IMPOSSIBLE to come back to that hell, that I am not enough stupid to destroy the streak, but its false. This addiction is really draining a lot of time and energy, it makes thing really harder for nothing. Why does this bullshit (porn) exist?????? The worst part of it is that it does not give me pleasure! I feel nothing during orgasm! Its like my brain decided to launch its own destruction. I struggle against my own temptations since years with no success. Every time I have two choices. A fast 'pleasure' with a harder life or doing something else that does not give this 'pleasure' but an amazing life after. I always choose the first one..If you have any advice, it would be really appreciated or if you just feel the same thing, feel free to comment.
     
  2. Got to Overcome

    Got to Overcome Fapstronaut

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    One solution is to find a group that meets every Friday evening. Based on your profile picture, I presume you like soccer/football. Is there a soccer group you could attend on Fridays? An intramural team would be a good option. If not, perhaps there's a group that gets together to support the local team. Failing that, try to find other groups. Since you're a college student, there should be plenty of options. Check out a few different groups and start regularly attending one you like.

    Next, you've got to work on your attitude. If you're convinced you're not good enough, you'll never work up the nerve to talk to women. Even if you do, they'll never give you the time of day, as they'll find your insecurity a huge turn-off.

    The solution is to improve your sense of self-worth. The first step is to do whatever it takes to get rid of PMO, as watching pornography makes us feel terrible about ourselves.

    The next thing is to focus on self-improvement. Improving your appearance will likely increase your confidence, so lift weights, dress well, make sure your grooming is on point. Learn as many skills as you can. Basic first aid, self-defense, car maintenance, home repair, survivalism, etc. It doesn't really matter. The point is that by acquiring new skills, you'll feel more capable and confident, which will be very attractive to women. Really put yourself out there. By doing so, you'll have many more opportunities to meet women. Also, the more socially engaged you are, the better your social skills will be, which is important both for meeting women and career success.
     
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  3. The advice above is definitely something that can work, and I have seen it work before, but I have something else to say. Even though I do not advocate that you should NOT work on yourself, I believe that you should try not to care that much for girls in the first place. What interests you besides girls? You will meet girls eventually, and find one, or several. Believe me, it happened to me, and I had crazy good times even though I am a fucking shipwreck and a freak. You don't have to spend your time nervous or looking.

    Best of luck.
     
    legolas_01 likes this.
  4. Relevant quote I found on a sister website of nofap

    "We need to learn how to live without this world of endless hot chicks, otherwise we'll become extremely disappointed and dissatisfied with real life, which is nothing like porn.

    Anyone here is more than capable of getting a girlfriend. But our girlfriends most likely won't look like pornstars, nor they will act like them.

    There's a very high probability the sex won't be pornographic in nature. There's going to be a lot of sensuality, caressing, and also clumsiness. Some days your girl will look sexy, other days not so much. Some days she'll be in the mood, other days she won't. Some days you'll struggle to keep it hard, other days you'll cum too fast. She might be able to achieve orgasms, or she might not. You might do it every other day, or maybe only 3-4 times per month.

    Remember, pornstars are paid thousands of dollars to do what they're told and fulfill all your fantasies.

    You must stop living in dream land.

    I know this is very difficult to accept, but we have to give meaning to our lives outside fucking hot chicks.

    Our happiness cannot depend on that. Otherwise you'll keep coming back to porn every time you fail to get laid in real life. You will remain attached to "sex with hot chicks" for the rest of your life."


    source: https://yourbrainonporn.com/my-thoughts-rebooting-extremely-long-post
     
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  5. legolas_01

    legolas_01 Fapstronaut

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    Got to overcome: You are right, I like soccer. But my games take place each Monday. It helps me to start the week by giving me a boost of confidence. In fact, even if I stay late after school on Friday because I go to restaurant/movies or whatever with friends, I relapse when I come back. The thing is that I feel emptiness and loneliness when I arrive at home. I feel pressure and frustration accumulated during the week because I saw so many beautiful girls and I can't approach them because I lack of confidence (because I keep relapsing). So I give up by watching porn. In addition, when I relapse, I play soccer like shit. It's really hard to change an attitude when you accumulate frustration then you relapse, then you accumulate frustration and so on. I get the idea to meet an average girl that I don't really find attractive just to avoid this feeling of loneliness, but that would be disrespectful. Besides that, I really like your advices. I did know those advices and that's why I am always busy in general (I study engineering, I work out I play soccer and sometime I learn german). PMO is a major obstacle that slows down my progression in any aspect of my life. I have to understand that this is a choice (being an addict) and I am the only one responsible for it and PMO will just make my life harder.
    AscendingBorborite: Believe me, I tried to stop thinking about being in a relationship. I already have interest for other things and I also did know that advice. I even consider myself as someone fulfilled. But I lack of confidence when being with a beautiful girl (when I don't find a girl attractive, my lack of confidence strangely disappear...). When I was younger, I was very shy and I think I am still shy. It's really hard to forget women when you never lived something with them. I never had a girlfriend.
    Thank you both for your help. I think it's a psychological problem that I have to understand and to overcome. sorry for the late answers.
     
  6. Got to Overcome

    Got to Overcome Fapstronaut

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    Yeah, it's tough. It sounds like you're staying busy and doing a lot of the right things, so I'm sure you'll soon get past it. One thing I might recommend is setting some sort of fitness goal for Friday nights. Something like 30 pullups/60 pushups/90 body weight squats. Time yourself, and try to reduce your time every week. This gives you something to work towards, and assuming you use proper technique (arms fully extended on pullups, chest on the ground on pushups, below parallel on squats), it'll tire you out. After doing so, take a cold shower. Try to stay under for at least five minutes. Finally, spend some time journaling. You can write about anything of course, but the more specific it is to the use of pornography and the effect it's had on your life, the better.

    With that said, I know it's not easy. Keep building your confidence, stay productive and busy, stay away from pornography, and I'm sure everything's going to work out fine.
     
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  7. legolas_01

    legolas_01 Fapstronaut

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    Thank you very much for your help. You can be quit sure that I will try your advices as soon as possible. Knowing that someone believes in me is encouraging. I also feel that I am close to give up this evil and unnatural habit. I just need to understand.
     
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  8. insert name here

    insert name here Fapstronaut

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    dude i'm exactly the same as i can do monday-thursday if i really want to but come friday it all comes tumbling down. I guess with me though it's not like i'm watching porn because of some inner crisis like loneliness or rejection but simply it's a case of thinking fuck it lets watch some. I almost got through Friday yesterday aswell but died just before going to bed. I went to the gym incidentally for the first time in ages on a friday as i've been meaning to do for a while and it helped me stay of watching until i came back and was just bumming around on the internet not really doing much.

    I think i figured out that if i combine training on a friday with leaving my phone locked in my car so it's not reachable to look when the thought pops into my head then I should be able to get through a friday. My problem is if i even just look once it is guaranteed i will look again later that day even if i manage to stop the first time so it really is do or slowly bleed out then die.
     
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  9. Jimmy5555

    Jimmy5555 Fapstronaut

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    This is an issue that needs addressed.. you obviously have self esteem issues which are contributing to this cycle. Girls aren't too good for you but you need to have something going on in your life. Work on yourself and yes you need to make plans for the weekend. You're a young guy got everything ahead so don't focus so much on things, just make a plan for the next few months of things you wanna achieve and work on them.
     
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  10. Loveyourself

    Loveyourself New Fapstronaut

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    this is really simple. A lot of men would feel shy towards the girl they like or find attractive, completely normal.this is your root problem, pmo is just your coping behavior. you're in a cycle. so why not just break it. Try asking out girls you like and don't try to be a mind reader and conclude that you're not good enough for them. You don't know what's in their mind. So just work on improving yourself and get out there and make some small chats or ask their numbers or if its really bad, ask for a friend to be your wingman and starts with texts. Just work on it, small steps can get a long way. if you fear being rejected, get over it fast, if they don't like you, its their choice, it doesn't mean you're not good enough.CHEER UP :)
     
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  11. legolas_01

    legolas_01 Fapstronaut

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    First of all. thank you everyone for your answers! It's really appreciated.
    Insert name here: You should never look at porn, even few seconds because you let your addicted part takes control and thats why it is guaranteed that you will look gain in the day. I think you keep relapsing before sleeping because you forget why you started NoFap. Most of the time, I also relapse because of that. I think of writing every reasons on a piece of paper and then stick it next to my bed so I can read it if I have urges (which happen everytime at 10 or 11 pm when I am about to sleep).
    Jimmy5555: I understand what you try to tell me. Working on a project and achievement is more important than always looking for a relationship. The problem is that I can't prevent myself to look at a beautiful girl passing besides me and tell my self; ''omg, she is stunning, if only I were her bf..''. I think it's normal and working on any project will not prevent someone to think that because it's human. But I agree with you.
    Loveyourself: Don't worry, each time I find someone attractive, I will also think to ask her name (just for talking honestly). But there is a psychological ''wall'' between me and her and that prevents to ask her name. It is only my shyness but one day it will be broken. but it will never be broken if a keep pmoing haha.

    Thank you again for your comments.
     

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