Can't help but look at pretty girls in public?

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by davee_jones, Nov 8, 2015.

  1. davee_jones

    davee_jones Fapstronaut

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    Something I've noticed about myself, for many years now, is that I have this incredible urge to see if a passing girl is pretty or not.

    It is certainly not sexual, I don't delve into fantasies, I don't consider approaching or talking to any of these women, I just have this urge to see how pretty they are.
    There is no stalking behavior, just this intense curiosity to see what a girl looks like.
    I might do "double-takes", I don't think I stare awkwardly but I probably am looking longer than I think.

    Does anyone else experience this?

    I think it 'bothers' me because I would like to have control over my thoughts and actions. Sometimes I try really hard not to look at a girl in public just to prove that I can.

    Thoughts?
     
  2. DisciplineYourMind

    DisciplineYourMind Fapstronaut

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    Fantasies aren't a requirement for it to be sexual. What you've described is most certainly sexual - but that doesn't mean that it's lustful.

    What I mean is - your sex drive is telling you to check out nearby females, but you have sufficient control over your sexual urges so as to prevent lustful thoughts (fantasies) from taking over your mind. This is not a bad thing, but is perfectly natural. However, allowing yourself to look at women every time you see them has the potential to tempt you into thoughts which may lead to a relapse. So it is for this reason that your next step is to extend your already powerful control over your sexual urges, into having control over your gaze.

    This doesn't mean ignoring women. If a woman passes you on the street, by all means smile and say hi. But if there's a woman walking on the other side of the road, don't gaze at them. There is no reason to. Do this for your own protection - it is all too easy to lose control of your thoughts, stray into fantasy, and before you know it - day 0.

    Stay strong!
     
    davee_jones and Toni S. like this.
  3. Will Strong

    Will Strong Fapstronaut

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    I have this problem and it is a huge trigger for me. I have to abstain from this behavior as much as I need to abstain from watching porn.
     
  4. As long as you look at their face, not their "stuff" and do not objectify them its all good.
     
  5. Gatts

    Gatts New Fapstronaut

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    I am new here and I am having the same issue. It happens to be one of the worst feelings, I find myself wondering what some of these women look like naked I find myself looking at their feet(sounds stupid but I have a foot fetish). I do not know how to fix my eyes and my brain, I feel like I am broken.
     
  6. RiBo

    RiBo Fapstronaut

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    I almost never check out girls, mainly because it is boring. Why boring? Because we can't do anything about it (like asking her out because I'm chicken and it's not the norm here), so why bother seeing every pretty girl?
    I also realised in college that my style of checking out is very subtle- I just take a 2 sec glance and done! Her image is in my head. Meanwhile my friends tend to look longer or get more glimpses if some girl interests them. :p
    Sometimes I catch girls seeing me and I think "why would she even want to check out an acne infested boring guy?" :D
    I'm not looking for any relationship at the moment, so I pay no attention to them nor try to check out girls.
    Enough about me, for your case I'd say it's fine to just take a glimpse of a pretty woman, but abstain from gawking especially at their breasts. If you get aroused, it's an indication you're physically attracted to her and/or your libido is going crazy. Just internalise the thought that you are in charge of your body and you'll be fine.
     
    davee_jones likes this.

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