Can't quit

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by fapequalsdeath, May 1, 2019.

  1. fapequalsdeath

    fapequalsdeath Fapstronaut

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    Guys help im depressed af, cant stop fapping 2-3 times a day sometimes more i wanna cry but i cant im too numb. This is a disaster my life is a disaster from this, i cannot apply my free will. Rationally i know its bad emotionally im apathetic for some reason and obly fap gives me delight. Spoken like a true addict life is dull without the hit. Im denying myself so much pleasures so unlived precious moments it breaks my heart. Its like im not controlling my body and actions when it comes to fap. Im in a 5 year rut and im suffering psycholohically and physically as the time progresses. Porn has broken me so much. I feel i wont be able to get out, i know i can but uet i dont and it seems i cant and cant and cant. Fuck this, tired of resisting the harder i resist the harder i fail. The harder i fail the harder i regret. And regret fuels my depression and misery and d3speration. If i knew how id do it. I know how technically but not emotionally.... idk any more cant give up cuz ill fell like a piece of shit for giving up. Cant stop and i feel like piece of shit for not stopping. Im so immensley fucked by myself and i keep doing it... why o why...
     
  2. When the pain of staying stuck outweighs the pain of change, you will change. I hope that time will arrive soon.
     
    Last edited: May 2, 2019
  3. llortaton

    llortaton Fapstronaut

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    Oh lord... Oh lord... This brought me to tears. :(

    Whoever you are, wherever you live, know that I love you (nohomo).
    I pray that you get through this addiction.
    I'll give you some tips.

    1. Get a porn block.
    2. Set goals, write them down!
    3.When getting urges, talk to yourself in the mirror.
    4.Take naps around the time you normally relapse.
    5.Meditate.
     
  4. fapequalsdeath

    fapequalsdeath Fapstronaut

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    So far it hasn't at least enough for a fatal quitting.
    Did all those things roughout the years, still come back to it. :( Idk what is the thing that can make me quit forever, if there is such.
     
  5. so your hand is so attractive that you keep having sex with it?

    Be determined bro, let's be honest, you are not stopping because you don't want to stop. Once you REALLY WANT TO STOP, You will FIND A WAY and made it through
     
  6. fapequalsdeath

    fapequalsdeath Fapstronaut

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    been wanting to stop for 5 years and still i'm here, I really really wanna stop but even today i relapsed to some PMV's
     
  7. You must cut off your access to P. I quit a 20-year career in IT and spent 2 years completely away from computers and smartphones in order to escape from it. Radical lifestyle change is required when the addiction is strong, as it seems to be in your case. There will be a price to pay to get free, and it will be costly.

    What price are you willing to pay? That is what you must decide.

    A simple first step would be installing accountability software on all your devices and adding one or more trusted APs to receive the reports. Also, if you are not working with an AP or two, this practice is indispensable for the long-term entrenched addict. If I can serve in this capacity, please let me know. We are in this fight together, but if we are to make forward progress, we must actually *fight*!
     
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  8. SVOBODA

    SVOBODA Fapstronaut

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    They say filling your time is a great way to distract yourself. i would say working out. RUNNING" into walking for a while can help. lets face it, PMO is the same thing as doing drugs. we want to change our reality for that short moment when experiencing a urge. you will always experience the urge (but only temporarily) in this time 1st-you're challenged to battle the thoughts that created the urge with thoughts of other things, anything! (colors, car, animals, blueprints ETC... ) i cant tell you what to think of. 2nd- fighting the hand that feeds you. the tool that is used to perform the act needs to be occupied, pickup something, color, put yourself into a push up position, (TYPE ON HERE).. something to put your tool in service of something else. 3rd- this is all in our heads>the one that is on our shoulders< its looking to feed the thoughts that we allow to manifest into the act. i have not mastered anything myself yet but and trying to learn what will work for me. it will happen for you one day, you already did the hardest part and the was telling your story.
     
  9. SirErnest

    SirErnest Fapstronaut
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    You can't stop YET. Me neither.
    Luckily you can imagine a different future. Keep trying and learning with that aim in mind.
     
  10. SVOBODA

    SVOBODA Fapstronaut

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    what did you do after quitting IT after 20 years?
    I've never heard of someone that committed before. i hope all is going well for your, Sir
     
  11. ssha6451

    ssha6451 Fapstronaut

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    I am of the belief that pornography is a symptom of a greater problem.
    For me, I had all these pent up negative emotions. About certain members in my family, myself and life in general. I would keep all of these pent up inside until I could take it no longer and would fap for relief.
    I am only now beginning to realise these things.
    I am still not saying what I want because I am in a very toxic situation at home.
    But I am making steps to change:
    1. I'm moving out of home in 2 months
    2. I have a daily log that helps me to release all my emotions.

    I think you need to find out an underlying cause for your addiction. And try your best to tackle that. Hope this helps.
     
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  12. SVOBODA

    SVOBODA Fapstronaut

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    hi SSHA6451, i couldn't agree more. we wired a path in our heads that is stemmed from a emotion we experienced in our past. once triggered we (if let) allow the pattern to take its course and results in release for whatever reason...

    the daily log you speak of, is it and hand written log of what you did in your day or what you want to do in a day? i have never heard of log emotions before. i would like to try this method.
     
  13. ssha6451

    ssha6451 Fapstronaut

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    SVOBODA likes this.
  14. SVOBODA

    SVOBODA Fapstronaut

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    thank you. good for you so far, i could try to benefit from noting my emotions. i hope this will help me
     
  15. I became a plumber. No computers at the end of a soil pipe! :)
     
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  16. SVOBODA

    SVOBODA Fapstronaut

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    haha. that is cool man
     
  17. DiegoNunez7749

    DiegoNunez7749 Fapstronaut

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    Porn blocks don’t work okey!!! I tried already
     

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