Can't stop in bed

Discussion in 'Abstinence, Retention, and Sexual Transmutation' started by Jellyman, Dec 23, 2019.

  1. Jellyman

    Jellyman Fapstronaut

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    Before going to bed at night, that's a little hard but I can control myself here. But when I wake up in the morning, before I know it my hands are in my pants, and I hate this. Aside from this area of my life, I've completely eradicated masturbation (except occasionally in the shower, but I feel the trigger to that is this anyway). Yet it feels so demotivating when I cant stop doing this in bed. What should I do to prevent myself from doing that? I'm not really in an active or alert state, my mind just has one thing in it at that time, and that's to go go go. I've noticed this usually happens when I don't wake up with my alarm or if my sleep is disturbed by something. Seems like I'm waking up mid-REM sleep and that's why I can't do much, maybe? Anyways, I wouldn't call what happened today waking up in a rem cycle because when I feel that's the case, my mind's even more foggy. But I don't think that even happens much anymore.

    Please give me some guidelines and advice on how to stop myself from doing this before going to bed and right in the morning(if I successfully move up and sit in the bed, I've won, I don't do it then. But the problem is I don't think straight.). Any help is MUCH appreciated! I want to rid myself of PMO completely out of my life. I have completely gotten rid of porn, but rarely look at nudes online when I do this in bed sometimes.
     
  2. I think it's perfectly normal that these things happen, including the fact the you are not watching porn anymore. These last week that o started NoFap reboot again, i had some very "real" dreams about naked womans and sex. Normally it's when i'm about to wake up. But when i wake up i need to jump out of the bed so the M temptation go away. But when i'm sleeping and without control i have sex with my bed, but without O. lol
     
  3. My advices is stop to use the phone on bed, and try to sleep with your arms open and far from your body!
     
    ANewFocus likes this.
  4. bejog

    bejog Fapstronaut

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    Those below only apply when ur in bed as you asked.


    Try meditating.
    Shift your mind to different things.

    And whatever you do, do not touch anywhere under your belly button. If you wire your mind to that you will probably feel shame just by literally touching yourself. That keeps you away from M.

    Desperate times call for desperate measures.
     
  5. Jellyman

    Jellyman Fapstronaut

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    I'm not thinking of anything erotic at all. I'm just touching myself for pleasure. Trying to keep my hands away has not worked for me..
     
  6. Jellyman

    Jellyman Fapstronaut

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    For starters I don't know how to meditate, but anyway, that's not something I can do as soon as I wake up. If I was that conscious, I would just sit, and at that point I'm safe.
    I don't touch myself until I'm getting the feelies anyways so the belly rule is not very helpful. Also, at this point I'm so desensitized to everything so self shaming will not get me anywhere.
     
  7. bejog

    bejog Fapstronaut

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    I didn’t know about meditation up until two weeks ago. I still advise you to look it up. Just the basics. You can try free version of headspace app. I use that.

    If you do it when you are at ease, you’ll probably do it on the bed too. Start with the guided meditation. I started doing unguided ones as well. Then, you can do it in bed. And even 3 minutes does the work if it is about time.
     
  8. I will teach you, because is simple: Just sit. Shikantaza.
    Don't need apps, a yoga guru, incense, etc. Just grab a cushion, sit in a way you dont move and stay 10 to 20 staring at the wall. Focus in your breathing, it will make you feel calmer. if you want, you can count the inalations. medidation helps us to remove our trash thoughts and find our long forgotten self-nature
     
  9. Jellyman

    Jellyman Fapstronaut

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    I mean I guess meditation is nice and all but doing this before bed isn't gonna stop it in the morning, now will it??
     

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