Can't stop thinking about guys, but I'm not gay

Well some therapist sucks and unluckily u found one.

 

Don't give up until you find a good one. It's all about the rest of your life! It's worth the effort, don't you think so? Courage, man!

 

Hey dude. I had the same issue with one therapist and tbh the way I think, I need something very concrete to learn.

This whole talking therapy crap bothers me

So my current therapist focuses on cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). Which involves written activities, progress reports and tracking my progress.

It’s a very concrete exercise driven therapy. We do talk, and go over my problems but it’s always focused on the solution.

This doesn’t work for everyone as the workbook I use even says “if your mood chart doesn’t have an upward trend after a few months, seek further help from your therapist/doctor”

Hope who’s helps you on your journey!

 

messed up the quote.

this really isnt why someone becomes a therapist. they want to help people its a different kind of caring one which is one way and has boundaries. doesn't meen your bribing them its just their job. i have a job where i care for people and i feel differently about them than my friends and family but i do still genuinely care for their welbeing i dont just look after them cuz i get paid

Well, that's not the point. The point is with any therapist arrangement I am bribing someone to act like they like more for an hour or 45 minutes. I am bribing someone to take care of me emotionally for 45-60 minutes. They don't really want to. They have their own lives to take care of. If I didn't pay them, they wouldn't even talk to me. I bet there are a lot of people who talk to them, and they think, "This person isn't paying me. good bye." So that's my qualm with it.[/QUOTE]

 

I am sorry, but while nofap is openminded about the evil of masturbation, people want to have "positive views" about homosexuality. Well, my "fear" of aids should be shared by all of you. I don't know if you are bi or not but you can dislike and censor my views, but you won't be able to censor aids and the reality of homosexual lifestyle, especially males, who are often sex obsessed.
Homosexuals have much shorter average lifespan than heterosexuals, most of the famous homos have some kind of sex related disease, often aids. I saw a very complete documentary about aids and homosexuals, and it described how homosexuals often enjoy sex parties, organised in some houses between them, and in those sex parties, nobody wanted to mention aids or anything, it was taboo. But they did have lot of unprotected sex, and of course, after a few years of this lifestyle, guess what happened to most of them.
Also, there are some very sick minded people or irresponsible who have aids and do not mind sharing their viruses with others as long as it gives them 5 minuts of pleasure. This is the dark reality. Just be aware of it.
I don't care if my post get burned

 

Okay, you´ve got me. If you have waited to post this answer, directly after I have logged in that it cannot be edited by mods before I read it, you were succesfull.
PMO addict has got his answers, and I won´t let you spread out your personal prejudices unanswered by my side now. I have asked you politely to stop any derailing, but you prefer going on posting your "I don´t care if my post get burned" style. Fine, let´s do this dance.

What kind of evil? There is no sin in masturbation. It may harm oneself, and have negative effects, that´s reason enough to deal with it. Not helpful, necessary or true in any way to load up guilt on everyone who practice it. Evil is to me, to betray a person, to lie to her, abuse him or rape his individual will. Fapping for itself maybe many of things, but it is not evil per se.

Of course, homosexuals have long enough accepted for themselve to be "uncurable damned sinners" or being "mentally ill". Label putted on them by people, who had no problems to justify most cruel acts against other humans, while feeling themselve in the selfrighteous position to judge even over others. That´s not even christian at all. I have positive views about homosexuality, because I have positive views about myself. I like myself and accept myself as the person I am. I neither consider myself being a notorious sinner, nor abandoned by god. And I have met and known so many friendly, kind, intelligent, smart and most interesting homosexuals of every gender, that I will not just stand by and keep my mouth closed, when people rant out their biased bullshit and personal subjective fears like "objective truth and fact". I tolerate your personal opinion, but then face my answer.

AIDS can best be fighted by sexual education, prevention and sober education what way the serious infection possibilities are. Also by caring with kindness about the ones, who got infected and not by casting them out. Africa has a huge heterosexual AIDS problem and is not a homosexual one at all there.

I have written it already, that I define myself as a gay man. I have homosexual friends, I have deep feelings for a man, and I am not willing to allow anyone here to denounce that as wrong. You are in no position to judge anyone here, if you have no experience with "a homosexual lifestyle" yourself. Care about your own buisness first. (I won´t quote Jesus now...)

Geez, read yourself... of how many "famous homos" you know at all and can tell me about there "sex related diseases"? Beside of HIV.
HIV is a problem in the male gay community, that is out of any discussion, but you are not in the position to tell anyone, how it should be dealt with, as long you are not educated yourself enough about HIV.

Okay, name the documentary please. Because there are hundred of "documentaries" out there. And I could tell you several about heterosexual behaviour in the prostitution or sex business or students running wild on party weekends. You may not like other peoples sexual behaviour, but it´s not your personal business. Period.

And there are thousands of cases of child abuses/rape by priests and ordinated members of religious organisation all over the world. Be it in Catholicism, Hinduism, Islam or Buddhism. Nevertheless I would never state that "religion breeds and leads to child abuse!" and is dangerous per se.

As long it´s only a post that gets burned...you know, people have been burned and tortured for real in the past, because of other peoples selfrightouenss.

 

Yeah i see you are obviously pro homosexuality and see it as something normal, natural, and have adopted this lifestyle for yourself.
I have befriended 3 homosexuals in my life, when i was 20 years old. 1 of them is dead (some "pneumonia", he was 30 or something, but there is no doubt in my mind it is linked to his lifestyle), 1 of them tried to trap me in a homo party, i entered the door and saw him engaging in anal intercourse with another men while we were just supposed to have a beer, the third one was generally very nice and helpful but he wanted me to get in bed with him one night so i stopped seeing him. Ho i forgot those 50 years old gay neighboors of a friend who started having sex at 1 hour in the morning in front of us so we left.(while not being in a couple)
Honestly, i don't care if i get called a nazi or an intolerant person, i will never consider homosexuality as normal. I also met a lesbian couple, they hated men, and they made children by asking some men to give their semen in a cup for them.
Charlie sheen is bi he has aids, george michael was a known pervert and he is dead, but he probably infected dozens of other mens with aids because he said himself his favorite activity was waiting in the toilet to meet a partner... i stop my list there because there is even no need to keep on.
Backrooms are NOTORIOUS in every gay community. In every town there is a spot for gay men to have sex with strangers. Admit it.
And yes, it is very easy for a gay man to find a partner, much more than a woman, that is why people become gays. Women most of the times want connection with a man. Men with men just want to have unlimited sex with no feelings.

And this is the forum where people are open to discussion, and want to question and restrain their sexuality. So my advice to the poster is don't become gay, because no matter what society says, it will hurt you, and it is not healthy or moral. Reclaim your virility.
You probably won't listen to me, and i don't care! But in the end you will suffer the consequences. Nature is not forgiving.

And the documentary is right here for your eyes to see:

 

@Vedas_fr and @Vandermeer, come on guys, you're getting seriously off topic and I dont think any of us want this thread to be completely derailed and stop PMO addict from getting further help that he needs. We're all here trying to overcome PMO addiction, lets not fight over something thats barely even relevant in a thread someone else made.

 

i am definitely out of this place your homophobic ideas are so wrong.
three days on here trying to support my partner and i realise some of the problems he has is because of this website he used a few year ago.
glad i know this now so cheers!

 

The name of the topic is : "Can't stop thinking about guys, but I'm not gay"
So i am not that much out of the main subject, even so because this person has strong homosexual urges. So it is in a sense very relevant. And if some people do not share my views of the topic, they will be forced to admit the facts, which are that homosexuals are a high risk population when it comes to std, especially males.
The facts are also that male homosexuals often have hundreds of different partners during their lives. Homosexuals who only met a few men in their lives are an absolute minority. Most of them enjoy an extremely debauched lifestyle, where they have one boyfriend but still have sex outside of their relationship, with agreement of both partners.

Worse to that is that some people will still have lots of sex even while they are aware of their own stds. They don't care to kill their numerous partners in the long term. It is a grim truth. @PMO addict has to be warned of that dark reality.
Watch the documentary if you dare!

The problem is that you people are going to get mad just because i am speaking facts. Anyone who knows a bit about homosexuals knows that i am telling the truth. They will tell it themselves.

 

Dude, a lot of what you are saying is factual, I'm not trying to argue that. I haven't seen the documentary but have seen videos related to it so believe me I know where you are coming from, in some areas I do agree with you. You dont need to keep reiterating the point, I do understand.

The point I am trying to make is that having this argument here doesnt really help OP, and could easily put off someone else joining the thread to offer help when they see that its devolved into another debate about homosexuality. Your initial point was very valid and was relevant, but arguing with someone else over it doesnt help and ends up burying the posts directly addressing the original question. I'm not trying to censor you or anything, but at the same time theres a time and a place. OP seems to have already figured out that his childhood and his PMO addiction are the primary influences in his problem, it makes more sense to steer the conversation in that direction rather than keep arguing over the morality and safety of being gay.

 

I prefer to disagree @AtomicTango The main questions of PMO addict are still getting touched in this discussion. So I agree with his last answer, that it indeed does make some sense and is not derailing, to go on argueing about certain aspects, by competing different opinions against each other. And I have to disagree also with your last sentence - I do not have any PMO addiction and never had one myself. (beside my long term habit earned from early youth to fap regularly, when I was not in any relationship) I have watched and used porn of course, but never excessively and rather occasional. In the last years my tendency to watch porn went low, because most porn is bit boring to me. (I once jobbed in an adult store, before webporn was really popular, so I have seen enough porn and it´s live consumers in action for the rest of my life) That being said, my intention to be here is different from many other guys, because I am not in a rebooting mode, while nevertheless I am practicing NoFap out of my personal motivation and for individual reasons.

Now back to my dear friend @Vedas_fr

Exactly. But you continue to associate this question with HIV/STDs, while also having noticed, that this is one of the most articulated big fears of @PMO addict considering this topic. So you prefer to believe feeding his fear would be a good thing, as long it just would keep him away from the idea to explore his sexuality in any other way, you believe it´s the only rightful natural way. Your intentions seem most righteous to yourself of course, but from my perspective, you have a tendency to behave like a typical next-door-fundi, when he starts to get one of his tantrums. I question you are doing this out of a real caring interest for PMO addicts personal happiness or his true needs (which differentiates you from AtomicTango in my opinion), but more, because your belief system needs to be spread out onto others, to silent your own potential inner struggle and doubt.

I have watched the documentary and give you that: it´s a documentary made by members of the LGBT community themselve. I expected rather something weird, religious motivated, so this one is a legit source to me. First, this documentary has been produced in 2001. It is 17 years old now. It deals with a very problematic situation of the gay community: how to prevent selfdestructive behaviour of young gay man, who enter the community. I am not sure, if you have really understood, that the discussed "Gift" does not mean "being gay", but HIV+. The whole documentary shows that this is not a responsible and desired behaviour. But they try to keep themselve away from judging. While you use it, to "proof" the nasty and sexobsessed behaviour of all gay men in general. That´s so absurd, that I wonder a bit, if you have watched it completly at all or missed some important parts to understand.

The message is pretty simple: Use a condom and practice safer sex.

By what you are writing elsewhere and further, I can tell you have neither any idea about the suffering history of gay men in the last century, from being generally criminalized in the start of 1900 like Oscar Wilde, driven into suicide as Alan Turing, until AIDS crisis with soon death of artists as Freddy Mercury, Klaus Nomi, Robert Mapplethorpe or Keith Haring, nor about the medical backgrounds of HIV. You don´t really care about this, but you have at least an opinion to play martyr for ("I don´t care being called a nazi for my post." ) And of course you know some anecdotical told personal experiences, that we (homosexuals in general) are all in the ground of our dark souls kind of pervert, uncontrolled and sexdriven.

Now I dare you, because you seem to love challenges. Face me in a duel.
Let´s make a stand, who will be able to keep standing and can control his sexual energy urges longer. There is probably a deeper reason, why you were the first person, who followed me here and I have followed your profile in return then. I will keep it this way as long the challenge keeps going on, just to make sure none of us will forget, that it´s still on and we are keeping each other in focus. We have the same amount of days so far and we both stay in hard mode going on with this.

My love under will vs. your believe homosexuality would be unnatural, perverted, weakwilled, dangerous, and promiscous behaviour or there would exist no such thing as real love and care for each other among homosexuals at all. But be prepared, if you should accept this. I am taking this very seriously, so it might have some consequences, if you should fail against me. It could shatter and affect your personal beliefsystem in a way, you are not believing it could happen or be possible. Also this a question of honour, so any cheating or pretending will reveal itself.

Take your time, before you finally decide and if you are willing to accept this.

 

Based on what OP has posted I guess you both have all have a point in saying that its still relevant, so I'll retract my opposition to this argument. I only opposed it in the first place because OP has helped me in the past and I didn't want his attempt at help to devolve into another homosexuality debate when there are already so many in the threads. But if OP is OK with it then thats fine.

 

Yes at least i can give you that you are not chickening out a fair argument, and i respect that.

I can accept your "challenge", but honestly whether i lose or not, it will not change anything about my belief system.
And in all honesty, i will tell to you that altough i am still young, i think my mind is pretty made up about homosexuality, and the motives behind it. I have seen enough whether you believe it or not.

Now, this being said, i am not someone who enjoys or support any kind of persecution of homosexuals. In fact, i strongly dislike bullies, and in general all cowards / sadistics behaviours, which is often what motivates homophobics agressions. And i dislike that way more than i dislike homosexuality.
But yeah, i am the kind of guy who takes some pleasure shoveling the grim truth in the face of people, whether they like it or not. Yeah i plead guilty to that, i am not the kind of person who lives in lalaland, and i don't shy away from the dark side of life, because simply put, one day or the other, you will pay for being naive one way or the other, but that's not the topic.

Tolerance is the biggest scam nowadays. I will tolerate what doesn't hurt me or pose a significant threat to society.
Today, critic of homosexuality is criminalized. You can lose your job if you voice opinions contrary to the doxa.
Homosexuality as always existed and will always exist. But i was mostly something marginal and secret. Now it becomes a way of life which you have to be supportive of.
Well, sorry. I think men are made to become father and find balance with a woman. All the rest is absolute nonsense for me, and yes, i find lesbian couples totally ridiculous, where one of the woman emulates virility, and the other feminity.
Not to mention people who mutilates themselves in a desperate attempt to change their gender.

About the documentary, i fully understand it. I don't think you noticed that the men involved literraly wanted to have aids so they don't have to worry about catching it. Did you see it fully? I don't know what level of sick that represent?
And yes some heterosexuals are perverts also, but i don't think you will never find an app where men can just connect and find a woman to have sex with within 15 minuts. This is because men and woman are sort of yin / yang opposites, where they balance each others. When men go with men, which is by the way a biological non sense, there is imbalance because the active nature of men who are easily aroused is not countered by the feminine nature, less easily aroused and more passive. So this creates homosexuality, with huge amounts of sex and partners. Maybe some gay are not like that, but i have never seen a heterosexual have a different partner everyday unless he pays for it, which is a whole other issue.

I hope @PMO addict won't mind this discussion coming into his thread.


One last thing, the "inner strugle" about homosexuality is absolutely non existant, not even more than the zoophilia strugle or rape strugle. You don't become what you don't want to become. Homosexuals are persuaded every straight man has an inner gay sleeping in him.

 

Anyway, i support OP when he tries to release his PMO addiction, and i voice my opinion about his choices. Of course i am sharing and spreading my views doing so, but i think i am also offering some perspective on the subject, and yes, warnings, which are not a tactic and are just what they are. Describing what lies ahead.
What is happening is that OP is falling victim to porn subconscious effects, which are leading him toward homosexuality.
Porn has this effect on many straight men, and that is what transwoman are made for. To slowly attract straight men toward homosexuality.

 

Good. Then it´s settled. Honestly, I do not know what will exactly happen, but something will happen for sure, teaching the one who falls a strong lesson. Sexual energy stored over a long period is very potent and powerful, if suddenly released in a special context.

You are not in the situation any gay boy or man is. You don´t know, with what kind of shit we regularly have to deal with, because if you had any idea, you would delete or edit most of your comments.

That is a reason why I have offered you the challenge, because this is about honour and doesn´t work with someone, who lies by purpose to reach his goals. I would not have done this, if you were just an ordinary troll or a simple coward.

Good, let´s bring out the grim truth then. I am a defender and advocate of truth. Always.

That is not the idea behind tolerance. Tolerance origins from the latin word tolerare, which means "to endure". It´s an essential foundation for any society with multiple cultures/ideas/religions/believes to not fall apart sooner or later by splitting and dividing itself up against each other. Intolerance is in fact a most significant threat to any heterogenic society. It only works well in relatively homogenic, rather closed society, like Japan or North Korea for example. But not in the USA or EU anymore.

You can also lose your job if someone finds out you´re gay and you have a homophobic boss. Or you just don´t get the job in the beginning. Because of stereotypes like you assist to spread, that every gay man has potentially HIV and would be a serious health risk for the company. What is in fact wrong in both ways. The majority of gay man is not HIV positive (there is not only San Francisco in the world) and positive people are not a bigger health risk then the rest of the staff, because the infection ways are most limited to sexual transmission or blood exchange.

Strange, isn´t it? That something so unnatural and unhealthy, has not been already eliminated since thousand years, neither by evolution nor by religion.

Well, in good old times, racism and slavery have also beend considered natural/godgiven rights of white people. Man ruled over Woman. (means husband could rape or beat his wife, if he decided she deserves it) And it was considered responsible education beating the children regularly.

Good luck then. I am happy about this part, being gay, because I would have been vasectomized already, if I had regular unprotected sex with women.
This worlds biggest problem is beside climate change, the unlimited growing overpopulation and I have not the slightest intention to contribute further to this.

And I consider married couples ridiculous, who hate, cheat or even despise each other and stay together only because "of the children".

Again, you are completly ignorant to the inner situation of a transgender person. Do you prefer them killing themselve instead changing their physical sex?

Because you do not know anything about the social situation growing up as a homosexual person in a heterosexual dominated world, which bombs you permanently by every side, that you are not okay, pervert, sinful, whatever...

some...hear hear

Do you have ever heard about the "oldest business in the world" at all? At least gay men don´t have their sexual partners to pay that they endure one another.
I mean, not that there would not be thousand and thousand of "respected straight man" who pay homeless gay/bi hustler boys regularly 20$ to suck their respectable straight dicks in the straight family car. Of course there is prostitution beyond gays very common too. It´s a men´s world.

You somehow totally miss the most important point, that straight men would not only use the apps exactly the same way, but also any cruising area, if there would just exist any women, who would be willing to join them there just for free. To me it reads like you are the most naive person here, who has no idea about the true reality of secret sexual life going on behind the so-respected surface. Neither homosexual, nor heterosexual.

I will not get a tantrum now, because you try to bait me into being furious about the comparision of zoophilia or rape with homosexuality. (you have left out just pedophilia yet) You can tell as much about the "inner struggle" of a homosexual as about the trials of a blind man, who tries to grasp and imagine colours.

Is that so? Do you think anyone ever seriously intended to become an asshole?
Watch for you thoughts, because they become word. Watch for your word, because they become action. Watch for your deeds because they will build up your karma.

Dream on. I have written out my personal opinion about this aspect in my very first answer to PMO addict already.

 

I am going to counter your arguments one by one, as many of your answers simply focus on victimization and culpabilization of critics of homosexuality. Since you are homosexual yourself, there is literally 0 chance i will convince you but i will still do it. At some point you are going to shut off your logical mind to protect your belief system.

Invalid argument. I do understand what they expose themselves too, which is hostility from the masses, because the behaviour is instinctively rejected by mankind as it is totally unhealthy and unatural. It has always been like that, and it will always be in one way or the other.

Now, i see you talk about KARMA. I always find it very funny people who think karma only applies to others and not to themselves. If KARMA is real, then homosexual being persecuted and having STDS might just be the result of KARMA, the KARMA of homosexuality? Makes sense?
Defying nature and being depraved has CONSEQUENCES. Those CONSEQUENCES, will never leave you, whether your live in middle age, modern era or in the future. Take a minut to think about this the next time you mention KARMA.
Anyway i am not a big fan of karma as a theory but you should stop using that argument for your own sake.

I think it might not have reached your brain yet, but reproduction is an integral part of life for human beings, and its the fundation of the human society. Gay people are not really interested in that aspect, of course! Their main drive is pleasure and escape from maculinity. The fact that sub saharians and other ethnies in the world still make 7 child per familly is obviously an issue for the planet, but having 2 or 3 childs is absolutely normal and necessary, and as a white european i don't intend to disapear simply because others cannot restrain themselves. We do have low natality here. Beside, it gives purpose and other concerns than yourself and your own pleasure, which is a strange concept for homosexuals, only focused on themselves and their vices.

I know people are filthy perverts, even women, and it can creates a lot of anger and even murder. They cheat, they plot, and i can't stand it. I respect more a honest gay man than an heterosexual crook. It doesn't change anything about homosexuality though.

I did not miss the point, men and women balance each others, it's like + and - for electricity. if + and - go together then balance, if they + and + then imbalance. If someone pays a gay prostitute, then he is GAY, so invalid argument here again. Besides, prostitution is for financial motives or feeding kids, so it's a whole other problem. So yes it is male nature to actively seek out sex and easily aroused, balanced by female nature to be less easily aroused and more reserved passive. I wonder what you don't understand about that part? "If such an app existed" yes that's the whole point of what i am telling you : it does not exist and never will! why? because nature!

It's the same reason when 2 gay have anal sex, no child will never be born! why ? nature! They can try forever! Their sexual organs are made for procreation with the other sex, no matter what they believe! It's the only reason they have sexual organs!!

Again, i know hiv is not transmitted in the workplace! But the fact that gay people are acting in a way that makes them high risk for stds, make them actually hold those STDs in the human world, and they propagate it to their partners men or women, which ends up propagating it to the whole society. They keep the viruses actives and alive.
If it wasn't for gay and drug addicts, HIV would not bet much of a worry in western society, since its propagation is exponantial. But so does people who practices orgies or prostitute, and pornographers. But you might have guessed i don't like those kinds of people either.



Anyway, what's the point of arguing. What do you want to prove me? that homosexuality is natural and harmless?
Is that what you want me to be convinced of? So you don't feel threatened by my posts?
Homosexuality, unless practiced massively, is not a serious threat for society. (except taking their share in the spread of std). It only destroys those who adopt it.

 

If you weren't gay before you started watching porn, you almost certainly are not gay now. Porn just fucks with your head. Check this out and see if you can relate:

https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.p...answoman-addiction.121772/page-4#post-1477020

Edit: For God's sake, don't try being a bottom just for the hell of it. These people who say "just give it a shot" are crazy. At least get a bunch more clean time first. It may not be politically correct to say this, but fuck political correctness: except for sharing needles, receptive anal sex really is the highest risk activity for contracting HIV. Nothing else even comes close.