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Casual Sex = Psychological Distress or Increased Confidence

Discussion in 'Rebooting in a Relationship' started by Deleted Account, Jul 26, 2017.

  1. Potato93 likes this.
  2. GG2002

    GG2002 Fapstronaut

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    I agree that casual sex can leave people depressed women more than men. But I also don't agree with waiting until marriage what if you are 40 and single like me? Sex in committed relationships is best. I had one one night stand and it turned into a 2 year relationship!
     
    Hopefulgirl and Deleted Account like this.
  3. Drew140

    Drew140 Guest

    I lost my virginity as a college freshman and have had 3 what I would consider "full" sexual partners meaning all types of sex including penial-vaginal intercourse. I decided at age 25 after grad school that I would save penial vaginal intercourse for my wife. In the years since (I'm 40 now) I've mostly been exclusively a handjob guy though I've had oral several times as well. I also enjoy role play. You can pleasure women many other ways than VI's a penis especially orally and digitally (fingers). Do I think you need some sexual experiences before marriage? Yes.
     
    Hopefulgirl likes this.
  4. Drew140

    Drew140 Guest

    I too am not a big fan of casual encounters.
     
    Potato93 likes this.
  5. Spiff

    Spiff Fapstronaut

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    I had one intercourse one night stand in my life - I was 17 and so was the girl. It was a camping situation with different high schools. The girl was hot and everyone was cheering me on when it was clear we were clicking. The deed was thrilling, she was eager and the sex was nice but a little awkward considering it was done in the outdoors by two amateurs who hardly knew each other.

    When my male schoolmates found out they cheered me on like I was a hero. I really liked the girl - she wasn't just hot but interesting as well. I got her address but she never wrote me back (this was before ubiquitous digital communication). She lived a couple hours from me, so it probably never would have worked out.

    The next day we left and I found myself utterly saddened when I thought back on it. I had this feeling like it was completely wrong to have shared that experience with someone I hardly knew. I kept feeling like I had stolen something valuable from this girl - and that stung my conscience. This feeling was a result of my own thinking - I was raised by non-religious extremely sexually liberal parents, and everyone (society and friends) were telling me I had just done the right thing.

    I made up my mind that day to never have sex with someone I wasn't in an at least somewhat committed relationship with, and I never did. I don't envy my single and polyamorous friends their emotionless hookups. They tell me they can "turn on or off" the connection between sex and emotion at will - but I don't buy it for a second.

    Now if only I had allowed my conscience to lead me away from porn all these years. I guess I could always justify using it by thinking I wasn't actually hurting any of the girls, since I never paid for it. As for my wife - I (completely wrongly) felt that since she hurt me sometimes I could hurt her back.
     
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  6. SuperFan

    SuperFan Fapstronaut

    Clearly that was some damn good sex. :)
     
  7. True-Self

    True-Self Fapstronaut

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    I'm kind of torn on the subject of casual sex.

    On the one hand I see many negatives to it. I'm very risk averse when it comes to STDs so I would want to use a barrier for all acts. So physically it seems like the sensations would not be as good as if participants health status are known (as in a committed relationship). Also I've read that people often times lower than physical standards for partners when pursing purely casual sex. I would also see this as a negative. I also think that I would not be able to keep emotions separate from sex.

    On the other hand, if while I was single, a woman (who I found very attractive) pursued me for a "one night fling", I'm sure I would have at least tried it. I've also fantasized about the idea of "swinging" even though I don't think it's something that I would actually like or be comfortable with were it to happen in real life.
     
    GG2002 likes this.
  8. lovelyDay

    lovelyDay Fapstronaut

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    Well, that is nice example, that there is no "hard rules" about ONS, thanks for sharing your experience :)
     

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