This is so frustrating!. My SO has been using P throughout our almost 7 year relationship. I only realised the extent of the problem in the last couple of years We have had a few discussions .The latest, he was more receptive to hearing my feelings and thougjts and said he was 'falling into old habits' but didnt think he was addicted to P. I think he knows its a problem. I think hes stopped watching P but doesnt realise that Psubs are harmful too. He said he would watch a video but i dont think he has. While we were on holiday recently i think he had abstained for a while. I actually managed to make him O from going down on him. He suffers from DE. So this was a major achievement! We had sex a few times and also he was waking me up in the middle of the night for sex. This happened 3 times over two weeks. I was loving it.! Now we are back home its back to the old routine. Sex on wednesday or saturday when we go out for a drink - basically he has to be at least tipsy, more often a bit drunk to make love to me. We very rarely have sex sober. I believe he is going home during the day and MO. Possibly to Psubs. I also believe he possibly has a secret stash of intoxicants to give him a 'lift' ( i think he then thinks this makes him a better lover). We both used to indulge every now and then but i gave it up 10 months ago. Or he is watching Psubs to get turned on. He really struggles to talk to me about any of this and is a shy person. He has lied to me and wont admit the truth. Ive had enough of being suspicious. I dont want to accuse him of things unless i know it is true. I feel the only way to confront him again is to catch him out. Then i know whether he is telling the truth or not. How did others find out the truth? Did you catch them out, spy, have a confrontation or a confesdion? How can i do this without spying on him or lying and deceiving him myself?