Celibacy: Please Read If You Are Doing Hard Mode.

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by MelancholyWeightlifter, Apr 17, 2014.

  1. Onaniking

    Onaniking Guest

    I'm totally into this goal as well. Not that I have anything against sex but when I started last year had a couple of encounters and I felt that prevented me from reaching the goal I set for myself here. Plus when you have frequent sex you have to worry about your health and std's and crap like that so I think it's more trouble than it's worth. Good luck to you guys that are doing hard mode hopefully we spend our energies doing things that are more productive.
     
  2. Anonimato

    Anonimato Fapstronaut

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    I am fifteen and planning to practice celibacy until I get married (hopefully after 23 and before 30). This perioed of celibacy will last at least 8 years, does this count for me to be part of this thread?
     
  3. MelancholyWeightlifter

    MelancholyWeightlifter Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    Awesome thank you all for the responses. I think I will start a group for those of us with this goal.

    Strugglewithporn, you have some great goals and I feel the same way. Ive thought many of the same things, you make sense.

    Yeah Onanking there are definitely risks to sex. STDs, unwanted pregnancy, emotional pain and so on.

    Yes anonimato you definitely fit the description.
     
  4. MelancholyWeightlifter

    MelancholyWeightlifter Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    Im in the same boat as you Demon (interesting name for a religious person. LOL.) The only way we are going to succeed is if we think of this as a good thing. From your wording it seemes you feel as if you are being forced into this. I'm afraid that attitude is not very conducive to success.

    I don't think alcohol will have much effect. It may lower your guard and inhibitions, but that will be up to you to find out.
     
  5. Melancholy, former Massachusetts governor Mitt Romney was also celibate during his early adult years. He went to Stanford for a semester and then transferred to BYU – a notoriously strict, dry university that adheres to Mormonism. Now I’m not a fan of Romney’s politics, but the guy graduated summa cum laude from one of the best schools in the nation and subsequently became a billionaire!

    My question is: how much do you think he can bench?
     
  6. stygian

    stygian Fapstronaut

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    Romney is wealthy, but not a billionaire.
     
  7. AlexRuns

    AlexRuns New Fapstronaut

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    I just want to say two thumbs up to all of you. Celibacy is something completely countercultural and so misunderstood nowedays (some comments in this thread are proof)... It's not a path for everyone but I think that from those who do follow it we can learn some important wisdom that's been lost. I am married but am living in a different country than my partner so I'm trying to be a part time celibate ;)
    Today I'm reading an article called The Heart of The Matter - a fascinating dialogue between a Trappist monk and a Buddhist teacher with some great insights on what the true goals of celibacy can be (hint, the goal isn't just repressing something "bad" but opening ones self up to greater love of others). I highly recommend it to ya'all and would love to hear your thoughts on it http://http://www.abuddhistlibrary.com/Buddhism/H%20-%20World%20Religions%20and%20Poetry/World%20Religions/Christianity/Books/Father%20Thomas%20Keating/The%20Heart%20of%20the%20Matter/The%20Heart%20of%20the%20Matter.rtf
     
  8. AlexRuns

    AlexRuns New Fapstronaut

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    Two thumbs up to all of you. Celibacy is definitely misunderstood by most nowadays but I think there are things that many of us who don't take that path can learn from it. I'm married but am currently living in a different country than my partner so have a goal of part time celibacy ;)

    Today a started reading a fascinating article http://http://www.abuddhistlibrary.com/Buddhism/H%20-%20World%20Religions%20and%20Poetry/World%20Religions/Christianity/Books/Father%20Thomas%20Keating/The%20Heart%20of%20the%20Matter/The%20Heart%20of%20the%20Matter.rtf called The Heart of The Matter. It's a dialogue between a Trappist monk and a Buddhist teacher about deeper meaning in celibacy (and marriage). Hint the basic idea is that it is not about sexual repression but in deepening love in oneself to open up to all others. Would be interested to hear your thoughts on it!
     
  9. LannoDelDragone

    LannoDelDragone Fapstronaut

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    What motivates you to walk this path?; What benefits do you hope to receive?
    Like you, Melan, my reasons are many and varied:

    > My sexuality has caused me a great deal of confusion, often to the point of becoming painful. When my mind becomes "aroused", it feels almost as though my personality splits, allowing a hedonistic side to take control, while the reasonable side can do nothing but watch, powerless. (It's pretty scary; in this state, my aroused mind tries to warp and justify things, trying to convince myself to do things I normally believe to be morally wrong.)
    < By avoiding all things sexual, I hope to clear my mind so as to regain control over my thoughts, and by extension, my actions.

    > It has cost me hundreds of hours worth of my time, not to mention the constant anxiety of people possibly finding out what I'm doing or thinking.
    < Being unable to resort to sexual themes for entertainment, I'll force myself to find new outlets for my energy. My time can then be spent more creatively/constructively (or, at the very least, not negatively). My mind will also be at ease, as habits will be broken, thoughts will stop recurring, and I'll no longer have to worry about someone discovering a dirty secret if there are none to be found.

    > I've also taken to studying the Christian Bible with a friend, and I agree with everything I've learned so far. In fact, it made me realize that many of the things I was doing were in direct conflict with what I knew to be true, but had forgotten from years of living in a rapidly degrading (sexually saturated, as this site was created to combat) society. (As far as marriage goes, I also realized that I would not want to try to have a wife and raise a child in a time when the world is descending into chaos. I'd be in constant worry for my family's safety. Perhaps I'll have a family one day, but that time is not now.)
    < By taking complete control of my sexuality, I'll need not worry about being a hypocrite, and my new way of life would be pleasing both to me and God.


    Finally, perhaps the most obvious one for me is this:

    If I take a step back and try to imagine a perfect version of myself, well... honestly I don't know what I'd look like. But one thing's for sure-- I would not be masturbating, and I sure as heck wouldn't be wasting my life on porn!



    (Sorry if that was a bit more than you asked for! ^^; )
    Anyway, you can count me in... my goal is to be celibate for life!
     
  10. I'm in as well - being celibate my whole life and I don't intend to stop any time soon.
     
  11. I believe God only allows sex between a person and their marriage partner (of the opposite sex). However, I have unwanted same-sex attraction. That is why I have always been a virgin. There are no alternatives for me, just life-long celibacy. My goal on this site is not to edge, masturbate, fantasize or use porn and my personal best is 35 days. So, my motivation is love for God and loyalty to His requirements. The benefits I hope to receive are drawing closer to God and, perhaps, learning how to make up for the void in my life from never having a sexual relationship.
     
  12. MelancholyWeightlifter

    MelancholyWeightlifter Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    Death Mettle, I never knew that about Romney, that's so interesting. I bet he can bench like 600lbs from his super celibacy powers. LOL.

    LannoDelDrogone, excellent response, amazing reasons that I think will serve you well. I agree with them, I think we will develop a much "clearer" view on things. May I ask who you are studying the bible with?(Just for my own curiosity.)

    Welcome to the fight Aryangor! Cool avatar BTW.

    We'll get through this Vertigo. Together.
     
    Last edited: Apr 19, 2014
  13. stygian

    stygian Fapstronaut

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    I am doing hard mode as well. Thanks for starting this thread, it's a great place to keep track of each other's progress.
     
  14. Strugglewithporn

    Strugglewithporn Fapstronaut

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    Please let me know when you form the group
     
  15. Strugglewithporn

    Strugglewithporn Fapstronaut

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    Thank you - you put in words a lot of things I was feeling. I am grateful
     
  16. Strugglewithporn

    Strugglewithporn Fapstronaut

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    Dear friend
    You must try meditation it works wonders to give clarity and remove guilt.
    God Blesses you.

     
  17. MelancholyWeightlifter

    MelancholyWeightlifter Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    Sorry guy's I've been really busy. I'll create the group tomorrow.
     
  18. MelancholyWeightlifter

    MelancholyWeightlifter Distinguished Fapstronaut

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  19. StarKing

    StarKing Guest

    I am in a loveless relationship so I hope it will bring some positive changes for me...
     
  20. StarKing

    StarKing Guest

    yes and it is very hard to heal, even if the person is loved by someone very much. People that cause this damage to innocent people have very special place in hell waiting for them...
     

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