Chad, high value men and pickiness (hypergamy) of woman is to blame

nfpexperiment said:
hi,

Just open discussion, so after watching the youtube discussion about dating and woman, the conclusion is:

Online dating and social media gives women more options of men to date.

-the chads and high value men (20% of all men) get all the attention from the women (60% of the women)
-the average men dont get much attention
-so that why there are more single men than single woman, the single woman are too busy chasing the chads and high value men, they rather be a side chick to chads and high value men than date average men.

So the chads, the high value men and the pickiness of the woman are to blame for the mess we are now in. If the chads and high value man settled for a good woman more quickly and if the women settled for an good average guy more quickly, guess we will have less single men I suppose.

Br,
Nfp
Click to expand...

It's an interesting point.

And not to sound misogynistic, but women's decisions are usually wrong.

Their dating behavior is wrong for them, wrong for society, wrong for families,
wrong for romance and love, wrong for their careers, and wrong if they intend to have faith.

What happens is they focus all their efforts on chasing rich guys. But these dudes usually
just are having fun, and they want women at the top of the chain, like famous actresses.

So she gets preggo. Then find a beta provider. Their college "friend" they just discovered
they love, since he has a steady job, and he's going to pay for her and her kid.

Beta bucks. But she doesn't love him, so the marriage is doomed, and how will this child
or children grow up? He's going to feel unloved and have a serious self-esteem problem.

What happens to a society when it gets loaded up with too many betas? It crumbles.

The woman could easily solve this by finding a man she loves who loves her in return,
regardless of income. The way things are meant to be.

But yeah, those rom-com movies where two people fall in love, the woman's a teacher,
the man works in an office is a fictional daydream.

And that really sucks but that's how they want to play it. What can you do?

If you make a lot of money, you can't lead with that or they want to manipulate you
with a bunch of fakery. If you don't, a woman ignores you and isn't interested, no matter
how closely you all could be compatible with each other.

Screw compatibility, she says! I want HIS money.

And it makes me sad because I'm an old fashioned guy, but that is
where society is. And you can't fight city hall, as they say.

I mean, you can fight city hall. What are the odds? Between impossible and zero.

Naturally, I'm on my own. I buy a lot of frozen pizzas...
 
500 said:
Really well thought out and descriptive and thorough ideas you just said. And I agree with you… but to a point

But any guy can get into great physical shape, maybe take up boxing? Even if a guy has the ugliest face ever, if he gets in good shape, like peak physical condition, and learns some boxing skills, then I think he has a shot

the only guy I’d say it’s over for is someone with a severe disability…. If that’s your case, then I hope after your death you wake up to a room full of supermodels
Click to expand...
I actually joined a boxing gym last week. The workouts are intense!

One of my goals is to get into physical shape. I get pain in my knees sometimes, so I've found some books written by physiotherapists to work around this.

Meanwhile, my posture needs serious work, due to years of inactivity and bad habits. I have rounded shoulders, but I'm already seeing improvements in the mirror. I'm not 100% there yet, but seeing improvements is highly motivating.

I've also cleaned up my diet. I eliminated processed foods, eating only organic (I'm not vegan, though). I've also eliminated sugar, as well as excess sodium.

There's still a long way to go, though. I need to improve my sleeping patterns, and begin fascia training to strengthen connective fibres.
 
nfpexperiment said:
Social media has made it hard for even decent guys who are not broke to find a gf, i get the feeling the women are all chasing chads and the high value males, they are willing to wait and be side chicks.how can there be more single men than women, if men and women population is the same, shouldnt we have equal amounts of single men and women ? Only if the same women dated the same high value man than it is possible. Unless u have the lesbians which is a possibility, I will google this.
Click to expand...
Males and female population number is close to equal. What we are talking about it the population of single males vs. single females, and that number changes with age. If you were 55 years or older there are more single women than single men.
In the age group 25-35 there are more single men. That's possible if the women in that age group are marrying older men and men in their age group. It's the only way it can happen if the population is equal.
Let us know what you find out when you google this.
 
Online dating is really a vicious cycle for me, signing up in hope for some validation (and of course dates), ending up all battered. I actually feel much better without it. At the same time I have no idea how to approach women in other ways. Sure I can comment something to a stranger or crack a joke to a mid-age guy, but talking to some girl with air pods and a non-inviting look, that's a brick wall I can't break trough.

It's like when I was younger and ran around stores with my CV looking for a job, and they all said I should just apply on there site online. Online dating has become the norm and God bless us who can't take a nice shot climbing Himalaya with our 200 friends, or show the reflection of our six pack in a hotel pool.

Yes, it's not really helping pondering about, but I can understand many guys signing out both online and IRL. As with a video game; it might not be fun when it's too easy, but surely you give up if it's too damn hard and complicated right from the start.
 
Amalenny said:
Online dating is really a vicious cycle for me, signing up in hope for some validation (and of course dates), ending up all battered. I actually feel much better without it. At the same time I have no idea how to approach women in other ways. Sure I can comment something to a stranger or crack a joke to a mid-age guy, but talking to some girl with air pods and a non-inviting look, that's a brick wall I can't break trough.

It's like when I was younger and ran around stores with my CV looking for a job, and they all said I should just apply on there site online. Online dating has become the norm and God bless us who can't take a nice shot climbing Himalaya with our 200 friends, or show the reflection of our six pack in a hotel pool.

Yes, it's not really helping pondering about, but I can understand many guys signing out both online and IRL. As with a video game; it might not be fun when it's too easy, but surely you give up if it's too damn hard and complicated right from the start.
Click to expand...

I know, it’s like for online dating I have to advertise this thrilling, exciting, amazing lifestyle. Gotta have my own boat and go on vacations all the time and travel the world lol

deep down I like to just relax, go to the gym, eat healthy food

Gotta turn into a psychopath sales marketing genius to activate the woman’s “fun mode” on dating sites
 
Guys, women are just humans not "things". Stop trying to analyze them as objects and try to get to know them. If you guys are looking in social media and online dating, then you are probably going to have a harder time because from what I am reading you are not rich or handsome or either. So naturally your image won't be as appealing as that of a dude that drives a Ferrari...

Look for relationship or dating on a place where values are twisted or shallow and that's what you will find. Dating apps, all you are is a swap and an image, not a real person and then if by chance you catch someone interest then you are just a fantasy and the second you said the wrong word you are ghosted.

You know that song by Ed sheeran that goes like "the club isn't the best place to find a lover so the bar is where I go?", and yes I just quoted Ed sheeran because in a nutshell that's the issue. You get no chances at the club but at the bar you may, because you get to actually talk and bring your traits out, maybe you are smart or got interesting hobbies. Non of that matters on social media. And if you decide to do the Internet thing and go for the hottest girls, then play the game and accept the rules because that's the name of the game.

On the other hand, if you want something more real you can do church, choir, dance lessons, reading clubs, I don't know anything that will get you in touch with other people. People, not woman, because the dude you met at the reading club is perhaps friendzoned but he's a good dude so he will introduce you to his friend.

You will struggle to date from the safety of your room and phone because of everything that was said before. And maybe instead of tunnel visioning on why I can't get the hot chicks, just try to go out and have fun, enjoy your life and if it happens it happens. Obsessing over it won't bring anything good. Work on building your happyness from a solid foundation and that will make you more confident. Confidence is appealing.
 
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Spirituss said:
Valor alto no significa nada Todo está en tu cabeza. Quieres relaciones, ve a hablar con mujeres
Click to expand...
El valor en el mercado sexual lo es todo, si dedicas tu tiempo a hablar con mujeres envés de invertirlo en desarrollar todos los ámbitos de tu vida para después incrementar tu valor y confianza, ni siquiera tienes que hablarles, ellas serán atraídas por la seguridad que creaste por aver construido una vida increíble, un cuerpo estético, haber trabajo en ti, solo así que construye la confianza y este factor es decisivo al momento de atraer genuinamente a una mujer
 
rheinpfalz said:
We love as humans to tell ourselves that there's someone for everyone, but that's not how nature works.
Click to expand...
Thats something women say, because its true for them. A woman is usually only single because she wants to be.
We now know through DNA a large percentage of men throughout history never procreated, but almost all women did. Women and high value men just have no idea what its is like for a large majority of men. Like you, Im not whining, but just stating facts.
 
rheinpfalz said:
I actually joined a boxing gym last week. The workouts are intense!

One of my goals is to get into physical shape. I get pain in my knees sometimes, so I've found some books written by physiotherapists to work around this.

Meanwhile, my posture needs serious work, due to years of inactivity and bad habits. I have rounded shoulders, but I'm already seeing improvements in the mirror. I'm not 100% there yet, but seeing improvements is highly motivating.

I've also cleaned up my diet. I eliminated processed foods, eating only organic (I'm not vegan, though). I've also eliminated sugar, as well as excess sodium.

There's still a long way to go, though. I need to improve my sleeping patterns, and begin fascia training to strengthen connective fibres.
Click to expand...

All good stuff, it will really improve you, especially if you can couple it all with
a 90 day hard mode reboot.

kmp!
 
nomo said:
Males and female population number is close to equal. What we are talking about it the population of single males vs. single females, and that number changes with age. If you were 55 years or older there are more single women than single men.
In the age group 25-35 there are more single men. That's possible if the women in that age group are marrying older men and men in their age group. It's the only way it can happen if the population is equal.
Let us know what you find out when you google this.
Click to expand...

So weird about women in their 30s. It's like they are at maximum beauty, for me.

A little more curves, but still enough youth.

But they hear the biological clock, so what comes with the hotness is
manipulation and deception.

It is the age range of women that are hardest to connect with, to build
a relationship for that reason.

Go to 40s for fun and romance, 20s for looks and youth, childbearing.
 
Its also when they are most likely to leave a marriage, kids or not. The beauty is starting to fade, but they still look good it becomes now or never.
 
LOSEmyselftoSAVEmyself said:
So weird about women in their 30s. It's like they are at maximum beauty, for me.

A little more curves, but still enough youth.

But they hear the biological clock, so what comes with the hotness is
manipulation and deception.

It is the age range of women that are hardest to connect with, to build
a relationship for that reason.

Go to 40s for fun and romance, 20s for looks and youth, childbearing.
Click to expand...
Don't miss out on women in their 30's, they are hitting their sexual peak. Too your point, their bio clock is ticking so they are looking to settle down and they are done with guys who won't commit.
 
nfpexperiment said:
I almost try everthring u mentioned, gues what it is a sausage fest.but my country is small diesnot have everything u mentoined, but the clubs there are are sausage fest, church no singles there ,only old people, married peiple, single moms, teenagers.
Click to expand...
I read a lot of your threads about women, chads and so on.
I got the idea that all these threads you start are not per se a way to find information you réálly want to know and put into practice. I got the idea you have serious unresolved issues in your life and all these threads are just a way to distract yourself from it.

Like porn is often a strong distraction, the hunt for "beautiful women" also works that way. Imo you show to me that you need a woman to help you(to save you) in stead of a woman you can cherish, love and care for.

I don't know if you have a journal here, but 5 years ago I started here my own journal and shared all (!!) my personal difficulties I went through. That helped me tre-men-dous-ly!

Last month I celebrated my 2 years free from porn. In the mean while I worked like crazy to work through my child traumas with a therapist and now I eventually am able to step into a relationship.
Fun fact: I feel verypeaceful and content by myself so I actually don"t need a female comrade next to me to be mysélf.
I think that is a good starting point.

So: why don't you start working on your real issues and traumas in stead of trying to force yourself into a relationship with the perfect girl? (Who does not exist)
 
nomo said:
Don't miss out on women in their 30's, they are hitting their sexual peak. Too your point, their bio clock is ticking so they are looking to settle down and they are done with guys who won't commit.
Click to expand...

Yeah women in their 30s are looking to settle down IF....IF.....IF.....

You know what I mean, Vern?

No woman will settle down IF you can't match up to the IF.....$$$$$$$$$$$$$
 
LOSEmyselftoSAVEmyself said:
Yeah women in their 30s are looking to settle down IF....IF.....IF.....

You know what I mean, Vern?

No woman will settle down IF you can't match up to the IF.....$$$$$$$$$$$$$
Click to expand...

Do you really think it is that black and white when it comes to money?

I remember there was a user on here a while back named Modern Milarepa.. he said that his father was broke his whole life but always was dating quality women...

There is also this good looking blonde guy I've seen at a church group a couple years ago.. he was really into surfing and cleaned pools for a living.. and had a really hot blonde wife

So I think there are some exceptions to this having money thing? What do you think about possible exceptions?
 
I see so many toxic mindsets on this forum. Particularly this trend of saying that you have to work on yourself and then women will come to you afterwards. I've never met guys for whom this approach has worked. And I do know such guys in real life. And they are still as lonely as ever.

There's also this cultivation of independence. I'm not saying that learning to live alone is a bad thing, on the contrary. But in a world where we are surrounded by people, some guys insist on closing themselves off and working on their traumas in their corner. They say they don't need relationships. We all need relationships and sex, it's part of our basic needs just like eating and sleeping. Some guys have suppressed natural things like meeting people, masturbating, and having a good time. All this to work on themselves because they don't consider themselves good enough yet.
I've been coming to this forum for years and I've seen so many posts that made no sense like "after the 6th month I'll be ready and I'll start taking action". No, a woman will not have a relationship with you because you have become the "best version of yourself". You can sure work on your traumas but it will hardly show outwardly, even if you feel like everything you have in your head like doubts etc. is visible externally. This is very often not the case. Women will never come to you because you have worked on yourself, they don't care about your "value". All they want is a guy with whom they can laugh and have a good time.

Some guys persist in that path and are still as lonely after years. It always comes from the same problem. It's easier to stay in your cave writing long analytical posts about women rather than taking action. I don't believe for a second those who say I don't talk to women I'm fine like this. No, you're just lying to yourself, so yes you feel good. But if you could go out and meet any woman, build trusting relationships both friendly and romantic, and thrive socially, you would. And believe me, you would find your life far more fulfilling than it is now. Some guys keep saying dating is hard. Women are picky etc... Dude, how many girls have you talked to this month. I bet 0 or maybe 1 but you didn't show intent for fear of losing her. You're not actually living because the gym and your self improvement comes before everything, including building relationships. So no wonder.

This thing about improving alone and becoming the best version of yourself is not worth it, it doesn't show externally (because others are thinking about themselves and their day, not about a stranger who is constantly trying to show value. It hides something not right), and it makes you see life through the lens of self improvement, which is 0.002% of what there is to discover in life.
I'm not saying that spending your time approaching women is a good thing, hell no!! I'm saying that you can be 100% yourself and finally accept yourself instead of trying to become better without talking to anyone. Performance is the last thing that will make you fulfilled in your relationships. Plus the more you judge yourself to more you judge others, which makes it so hard to build healthy relationships.

What I'm saying isn't new. If you seek professional help people will tell you the same thing. Please talk about value, self improvement and dating to a psychologist. You will see what he'll answer you.
- Why do you feel the need to do all this
- You can be imperfect, It's ok to be vulnerable
and so on
 
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500 said:
Do you really think it is that black and white when it comes to money?

I remember there was a user on here a while back named Modern Milarepa.. he said that his father was broke his whole life but always was dating quality women...

There is also this good looking blonde guy I've seen at a church group a couple years ago.. he was really into surfing and cleaned pools for a living.. and had a really hot blonde wife

So I think there are some exceptions to this having money thing? What do you think about possible exceptions?
Click to expand...

I think that good looking guys can be in a woman's "fun zone" temporarily.

But women abandon this after a while because of the need to reproduce, and
that requires big money.

Sometimes guys can get with hot women but it's going to fall apart.

Your desire for a hot chick is as strong as her desire for a rich man.

Think of it like that.

You might consider getting with a woman below your standards, but you
don't want to make it permanent.

If you were lonely a long time, isolated in a new city, you might hook up
but you won't be happy long term.

Whatever your standards are, is what they are.

Even if you prefer a woman who isn't totally hot, maybe you like a
woman who is a 7/10. Hotter girls you might find to be too self-absorbed,
for example.

But then, you have to find that one person who is a minority demographic, and
nobody else is going to work.

It's the same with her. She needs a guy to make $ X. If she goes up, there are
fewer and fewer available. If she goes to the minimum or below,
she's unhappy.
 
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