Challenge my Everest, a 240-hrs challenge, Day #0: Dec. 21st

Clancy Li

Clancy Li

Fapstronaut
35 hrs: I relapsed, tomorrow I'll start again and adjust my plan

33hrs: I failed to go to bed on time. A female friend made me very upset. I have sore eyes and necks. Sitting on my bed, I feel sad, but I won't fap even though she breaks my heart into pieces and spits to them, she never understands me but it's not her bad. I'm Clancy the Hard One, I can anticipate my success. I don't give a shit to all the frustrations.
Good night bros, I know we are together

32 hrs: Overcoming libido has come now!!!

31 hrs:Subconsciously I flatter myself excessively for what I've achieved, which, I suppose, may lead to an unexpected relapse, but if I told myself I've achieved nothing things would absolutely be worse. I have to concentrate more on my study. It's just like a wire-walking.
A set of erotic fantasies 'bout a girl whom I used to have a crash on flashed by my mind when I was coding in the computer room just now (I was implementing the "Insert Sort Algorithm" and the word "Insert" flirted me.) I can feel the beast hiding and ready for a furious ambush, but up to now I can easily wipe any sexual thoughts off my mind. Clancy is STRONG and an hour later he'll go to sleep on time with a purified mind.

27 hrs:Back from basketball court and feel refreshed, one day has past and I'm alive.

23 hrs:I missed my planned siesta time, the desire can be felt clearly along with drowsiness. It's high time to lock my smart phone, take a short afternoon nap and go to study in the library. I watched porn videos through my phone in most cases. I will be the last one standing. I WILL carry on my odyssey.

20 hrs: Okay, maybe updating twice or three times a day is an adequate frequency. But I'll post and describe my feelings in an introspective way whensoever I feel tempted or losing control excluding routine updates:)

19 hrs: it's a pure chilly morning. I got up early and went out jogging for half an hour.Regular exercises can save me.

9 hrs: Just now one of my friends sent me some comic Hentai pics, I didn't reply him and deleted all of his messages.
I'm used to masturbating in the bed. So every time before I go to bed I'm in the center of an arena, where I defeat the beast within or be defeated and devoured. The struggle within is truly agonizing, but I WILL make it thru my youth.I WILL!
Tonight I feel unprecedentedly serene and I will go to bed in accords with my plan after a short while.
Good night.

5 hrs: Having seen an inspiring reply to my thread, I feel strong and I want to win. Still in the library, I have to remind myself again that my priority today is to sleep before 10:35 pm, and this, I think, can help my brain recover from the chronic damage porn has caused.

1 hr: In the library and posting this thread with a slight headache thanks to PMO an hour ago. I have to cram for my Probability course. (Because of masturbation I never studied for any of my courses seriously, porn enervated me badly )...Anyway, I hope I can go to bed before 10:35 pm and have a sound sleep tonight.
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Hello, bros, after leaving Nofap with continuous uncontrollable relapses and binges, I decide to be back and keep a reboot journal here. I think I have to reboot step by step so my first goal here is to stay clean till Dec. 31st. And the success will be an amazing new-year gift for me.

I have to admit that a long-term plan seems too unpractical for me 'cause I could never be stick to anything I was engaged in due to intermittent masturbations, which would always mess up everything and make me feeble as an old man in the past 5 yrs. I'm not very sure if I can persevere in updating this time, but I'll try to do my best. After all nobody really understands my pain except for you bros who have suffered the same and been trying to make it thru.
I believe that reboot can wash away all the dirt and desperate visions before my eyes, and I will see my lightened world one day.

Wish me luck:)

PS:I hope my English seems passable to you bros, I'm still studying English and cannot use it quite proficiently.
 
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Hello Clancy. I'm motivated by your short-term challenge to the new year. I recently relapsed after a 120-days streak, now I feel like total looser. I want to once again pick myself up and continue going hard. Let's do this bro, count me in.
 
GeeSama said:
Hello Clancy. I'm motivated by your short-term challenge to the new year. I recently relapsed after a 120-days streak, now I feel like total looser. I want to once again pick myself up and continue going hard. Let's do this bro, count me in.
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A 120-days streak! My longest streak is a 8-days one. I'm so excited to see your reply and I feel motivated by you as well. We will make it at any cost, bro.
Btw, I wonder how could u relapse after such a long streak. It's 4 months, man. I have thought that if one is free from porn for more than 3 months or longer he would be able to control his behavior easily. And a lot of fapstronauts say the longer u keep clean the easier reboot would be.
 
Hi Clancy, I hope you continue your struggle. Few years ago i could reboot for couple of month before relapsed. That happened when I face national exams that make me busy to study. But now i couldn't do more than 7-day streak :( maybe because i have too much free time that make me relapsed
p.s. : sorry for my bad english, I'm still studying english too
 
Hey guys, count me in yesterday was day one for me. I've had a couple 10 day streaks before so this will be good and hopefully we can keep it going into the new year!
 
nowalk99 said:
Hi Clancy, I hope you continue your struggle. Few years ago i could reboot for couple of month before relapsed. That happened when I face national exams that make me busy to study. But now i couldn't do more than 7-day streak :( maybe because i have too much free time that make me relapsed
p.s. : sorry for my bad english, I'm still studying english too
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Keep strong bro, let's turn the page, let's turn the stone.
Why not join me in my new year scheme? U'll see a refreshed yourself at the beginning of 2017.
 
Clancy Li said:
Keep strong bro, let's turn the page, let's turn the stone.
Why not join me in my new year scheme? U'll see a refreshed yourself at the beginning of 2017.
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Yeah, i think it would be a great idea to make a first step. So of course i will join you bro ;)
 
Clancy Li said:
A 120-days streak! My longest streak is a 8-days one. I'm so excited to see your reply and I feel motivated by you as well. We will make it at any cost, bro.
Btw, I wonder how could u relapse after such a long streak. It's 4 months, man. I have thought that if one is free from porn for more than 3 months or longer he would be able to control his behavior easily. And a lot of fapstronauts say the longer u keep clean the easier reboot would be.
Click to expand...
Here's one thing I've learnt over the past three years since I started my Nofap challenge: The longer you abstain, the easier it is to fall in the trap of feeling like a sort of an immortal. I got carried away by the number of days I had behind me, and the motivation and persistence to continue moving forward depleted (since it's now my new normal). The triggers, however, will come in disguise. In my case, it was a misunderstanding with my girlfriend that awaken my sleeping demon. Any emotional imbalance can lead to a relapse regardless of how long you've been clean. The lifelong challenge I suppose is to have a mindset, positive behavioral pattern and good habits that'll counter any trigger on autopilot. I believe I can do it, you my friend can also do it, we all can do it if we chose not to quit. The success and even failure of others can be the stepping stone to achieving our goal. We're here for each other, let's keep going strong.
Restart with a renewed hope bro. I believe in you.
 
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