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Change the scene

Discussion in 'Compulsive Sexual Behavior' started by Deleted Account, Aug 24, 2020.

  1. Aug 24, 2020 #1
    Deleted Account

    Deleted Account Guest

    I've rewritten what I'm going to say about 4 times already... It's such a long story. Let's try a summarize this as best as I can. I'm going to stick to the last 10 years or so just to keep this reasonably succinct.

    My 20s were spent in one of three ways:
    1)Painfully alone (wake. work. home. dinner. sleep) nothing else
    2) In a relationship that I wasn't happy with but refused to get out of for whatever reason
    3) Cruising chatrooms/apps for hook ups
    Hanging out a strip clubs
    Driving around looking for hookers
    Sitting in bars drinking away... sometimes leaving with someone, sometimes just leaving drunk
    Voyeuristic stuff ugh.
    I think all my sexual behaviour is problematic now that I think about it.

    I still try to hold on to bars, apps, escorts etc because at one point I thought that these things would ALWAYS make me happy. But theyre just a dopamine rush. Once you get past the novelty of them... they just make you depressed.

    I'm luckily at the point where I know they no longer work. But I'm having so much trouble transitioning out.
    As a teen I loved movies and books etc but... it's like hotel california. You can check out anytime you like.. but you can never leave. I can't get back to that place where I once was before.

    How did you guys remove that... deep burning frustration that flows through you. that permanent restlessness? The inability to be in the same spot all the time. That deep fatigue that you get with constantly pursuing novel passtimes?

    I'm getting really depressed lately. And I need a change.
     
    Deleted Account, Aug 24, 2020
    Deleted Account, Aug 24, 2020
    #1
  2. Aug 25, 2020 #2
    Emanuil

    Emanuil Fapstronaut

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    Yep, I was a guest at Hotel California, too ... for more than 30 years;) managed to get out only when I realized what was keeping me locked up in there.
    Good news for you is that's it's possible to go out, but only if you really, really want to ;) and once you are out, that permanent "restlessness" will start slowly to fade away.
     
    Emanuil, Aug 25, 2020
    Emanuil, Aug 25, 2020
    #2
  3. Aug 25, 2020 #3
    Deleted Account

    Deleted Account Guest

    What helped you?
     
    Deleted Account, Aug 25, 2020
    Deleted Account, Aug 25, 2020
    #3
  4. Aug 25, 2020 #4
    Emanuil

    Emanuil Fapstronaut

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    My Journal
    It helped me when I realized what my basic problem was and why do I lead such a life. When I understood a pattern in my problematic behavior that always brought me back to the “hotel” and kept me in that vicious circle, I slowly started working on my problem and moving towards the exit.
    It is good that you admitted that your sexual behavior is problematic.
    Now you just have to find out why this is so ... In my case, those were much deeper emotional problems that caused personality and sexual life disorder.
    I don't want to discourage you, but it might be unrealistic to expect that you’ll find a solution on some forum. I needed professional help to make some progress.
    btw, what's Tito doing on your avatar? ; P
     
    Emanuil, Aug 25, 2020
    Emanuil, Aug 25, 2020
    #4

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