Change your shoulds to Musts

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by JedWiley, Jul 21, 2019.

  1. JedWiley

    JedWiley Fapstronaut

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    I was lost a few years ago and I was lost for a long time. I did nofap before Nofap.com existed and each time learnt more and more. I eventually came to the truth - which is that a reboot and then a rewire is the only real way to do it. Like any other addiction you need a clean break from it to really see it for what it is/was. I know that 'edging' :( and masturbation :( without P is like an alcoholic smelling the beer or having a little taste, it is dangerous and you will never be free. I have upset a couple of people on here when I have told them it is like there are two types of Nofap, the real Nofap - a reboot and rewire, then there is this diluted Nofap where people on here are still even debating ways to cut corners or 'cheat'. It is actually a lot easier on the mind to quit it all together. To keep teasing your brain and renewing the bad pathways in your mind is a disaster. I want people who have Rebooted to advise people new to Nofap on this thread, let the Knowledge help people reach a better understanding sooner. How can we help the people new or learning about Nofap to realize this quicker and change their shoulds into Musts?
     
  2. Eaglevision_2019

    Eaglevision_2019 Fapstronaut

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    I like your perspective. No need to "cheat" at it will almost certainly plunge you back to fapping.
     
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  3. JedWiley

    JedWiley Fapstronaut

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    I knew you would get it Edward, you are a real one my friend.
     
  4. Homo Deus

    Homo Deus Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    I agree with you.

    But, how can we help other people? How can we help people who want to cheat and cut corners? I was one of those people, and I am sure there is no help from outside. I needed to put my time and effort, to read books and thousands of post, success stories, relapses, to understand what is going on in my mind, and to completely change my way of thinking.

    So, I think what is the best help for this addition is to create small social support groups, so the people will not feel as outsiders. We should not be embarrassed, and we should talk about this in public.

    Listen to this guy, I have found this video a few days ago, and it the best thing I heard or read on the subject, in the last few months.

     
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  5. JedWiley

    JedWiley Fapstronaut

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    That's right, I have done just as you, I read, learnt, read, learnt. Knowledge is power, I guess it is a learning process and its down to an individual, still it upsets me to know there are guys who are in desperate need for change, but have the wrong mind set to get well. They said - you can't save everyone - they were right. :cool:
     
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  6. Awedouble

    Awedouble Fapstronaut

    Well abstinence is really just the first stepping stone, I don't know if there is even any point in mentioning anything else (and there is a lot) to people who are prone to that kind of self deception until they have enough clarity from a period of abstinence.

    The thing is, they have to experience it and a part of that is the clarity ENABLES them to do more detailed things like any number of life improvement practices. Without that appreciation there is just this negotiation like you pointed out.

    Realistically, and I'm not saying just rebooting and NoFap but even in mainstream face to face recovery, I think a lot of people stop at abstinence, if they even get established there in the first place. It may give them enough peace and balance to hold a job and have a fairly decent life if they do. But what is truly unfortunate is you may not be able to have a real conversation about the details and it just continues to be about this limited, tunnel vision idea of recovery.

    And at that point, either for those a little further along or new people truly interested in some perspective, I'd say details obviously matters but also that's where program should shift towards principles. At the very least people should understand how to put together their own program rather than do the standard, generic things - for the simple reason life isn't a simple program, a deterministic thing. It's obvious when you go to some mainstream recovery meetings that people automatically assume that's all there is, and they think they are being the benevolent knowing one thrusting that on you. (and never checking to see if you already know about it) That's why people complain there are book thumpers, it gets religious. For those in that position, I challenge them to speak about the principles and apply that to everyday unique life situations. 12th Tradition anyone? But the rigid thinking reflects a "recovery personality" that has been created from a rigid adherence to a program without appreciating the principles.

    So while I think it's essential that people take abstinence seriously and get established with that, assuming that's all there is has its obvious problems and one should also continue to progress. Maybe new people understanding that there are these further refinements.
     
  7. JedWiley

    JedWiley Fapstronaut

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    Wow, I like how you have simplified it brother :)
     
  8. Sinbad

    Sinbad Fapstronaut

    I find little information about the rewire phase. If you would care to share your views on it. How it should be like? What's the general approach we should take after rebooting, after abstaining from pmo for an extended amount of time? What did you do?
     
  9. JedWiley

    JedWiley Fapstronaut

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    The rewire after abstaining for around 2 to 3 months(different for everyone, sometimes longer) is important. Its very simple - so you have Rebooted, you no longer have any urges and M and P are alien to your mind and you will see them as gross. Then the Rewire, after around 3 months of Nofap your testosterone drops off and you may become a little teary and passive, this is normal. To Rewire you simply start dating or go to places where you can find a good woman, like group therapy or drama groups etc... you get talking, you like her, you date ... its time. Explain to her what you have been doing and that it is probably the reason she is attracted to you in the first place. I said ''There is a reason you think I am different to other guys you have met'' I said ''so you want to have sex, but listen I have not had sex in months and I am likely to bust my nut quicker than a lightening strike LoL, but teach me how to make love again'' and after a weeks practice I was, not bragging, but I was the best lover I had ever been. That is a Rewire brother. To have sex after you have disconnected M and P from the equation is a Rewire. Just sex with someone that cares about you and along the route you get a host of other incredible benefits, for me I train hard so I was/am in peak physical condition - there is a reason boxers are abstinent for weeks before a fight. After 2 weeks of holding onto your power the unused semen is redirected back into your bloodstream as your body keeps producing semen. This semen in your bloodstream is like a 24 hour protein shake, it has minerals, vitamins and proteins that - well its got all the ingredients to make a baby, a human life, so you can image there is a lot of great stuff in there. When you hear Fapstronauts talking about women staring at them, when you hear guys saying they feel awesome, when they look radiant, its the semen being used up in the bloodstream and testosterone burning off fat and building muscles. My eyesight is ridiculous at the moment too, I read the team sheet at a local football match from 5 metres away and as I went through who was playing my uncle said ''You are not reading that A4 paper from there, are you serious?!'' he went and checked and came back shaking his head and said ''You have the eyes of a Hawk''. A Rewire is heaven, to be free and to feel content in your life and building your dreams.
     
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  10. Sinbad

    Sinbad Fapstronaut

    Thanks for the explanation and sharing your personal experience. It's clear to me now.
     
  11. cBettyford

    cBettyford Fapstronaut

    Great. And so true. Thank you @Homo Deus
     
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