Checking Out Ladies and Sexual Thoughts?

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by muterabbit, Aug 7, 2019.

  1. muterabbit

    muterabbit Fapstronaut

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    So I don’t have much trouble with resisting PMO, but I do check out ladies’ bottoms when they’re not looking, and sometimes I fantasize about them and remember sex with my ex. Is this stuff okay, or do you think it interferes with rebooting?
     
  2. Nomar

    Nomar Fapstronaut

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    Ogling women keeps you in the cycle of pmo. It is actually currently what is holding me back. Gotta look at something else.
     
  3. muterabbit

    muterabbit Fapstronaut

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    That’s kinda what I figured. I feel like my progress this time is slower than my last streak a while back, even though I don’t think I made any effort to avert my eyes last time. This time I have been trying to avert my eyes, but I’ve been slipping a bit the past couple of days.
     
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  4. e123

    e123 Fapstronaut

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    There's a really good video on YouTube by Paula Hall called the Road to Brighton.

    PMO is Brighton. You can never go back to Brighton. You can't even go on the same roads as the roads that take you to Brighton. Checking out girls would be a 'road' so I would avoid.

    Full blown relapses start from tiny rationalizations like 'it's OK to check girls out' or 'I'm not fapping so it's OK'. Then a week later, you PMO. Stop at the start of a rationalization, not when it's too late.
     
  5. muterabbit

    muterabbit Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for the suggestion. I’ll check it out... Umm... No pun intended. LOL
     
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  6. Indurian

    Indurian Fapstronaut

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    I have noticed that to deal with PMO addiction I have had to deal with lust as well. As the other post implies, they are interlinked. Lust and ogling will fuel PMO urges.

    I don't follow a particular religion but I can now see that the advice given by Christianity and Islam is excellent I. e. don't look for more than two seconds and also learn to lower your gaze (instead og ogling).
     
  7. smoke_ash

    smoke_ash Fapstronaut

    Oh, I struggle with the same thing as well. Don't even need to ogle, a quick glance is sometimes enough to trigger the sexual thoughts. Don't really know what to do about it. Thinking of training the thought stopping technique https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thought_stopping
     
    RobbyGo36 likes this.
  8. Ajikan

    Ajikan Fapstronaut

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    This is ogling, women notice when you do it. refrain from doing it.
     
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  9. AlivebecauseHeDiedforme

    AlivebecauseHeDiedforme New Fapstronaut

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    Praying for you!
     
  10. Shy_1990

    Shy_1990 Fapstronaut

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    Its normal to be interested in women. Thats a healthy male behaviour. The problem is when you can't control it or it gets to the point that you can't treat or see women as human beings.

    I have a bad trigger which is yoga pants, especially the really tight ones. That is abnormal and something I'm working on every day. But in general I think its fine to look at a woman and generally find her easy on the eyes so to speak.
     
  11. e123

    e123 Fapstronaut

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    I have no idea why yoga pants and tiny shorts have become so fashionable.

    Ten years ago, yoga pants wearers would cover their butt with a t shirt or a sweater. Now, the whole world can see their butt and they don't mind. Same with shorts. The worst thing is that these fashions are being adopted by younger and younger girls. I hope it stops.
     
  12. DeepParkWater

    DeepParkWater Fapstronaut

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    I know what you mean. I live in a college city and the girls at the gym wearing tight yoga pants makes rebooting so hard. Its funny to see the old men that blantantly stare without shame though. Id say the healthy route to this is to appreciate the beauty the refocus on other things though. Itd be a shame not to at least quickly enjoy the view
     
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  13. muterabbit

    muterabbit Fapstronaut

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    I don’t think the problem is fashion. Whenever you see indigenous men who wear little to no clothing around women who wear little to no clothing every day, do you notice any of them are aroused or obsessed with women’s bodies? I swear every time I see them, they don’t seem to give a shit.

    I think the problem is that in our society we objectify a woman’s body to the point where clothing becomes like wrapping paper covering a Christmas present. The wrapping paper makes you so very curious, so excited about what’s underneath. Now imagine if our society were much more open and accepting of nudity. Would you still be super-excited about what a woman’s body looks like in its natural state, or would it be no big deal to you, like the mindset seems to be with indigenous men?

    Imagine how things might be different if the wrapping paper was instead her body and you were super-excited to get at what’s under that: her personality.
     
  14. Damnation

    Damnation Fapstronaut

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    I think about it this way, if she dresses her body in a way that shows off everything she has, while it's enticing, to me, she is saying "this is my value" in other words she is telling the world, the only redeeming quality is legs and backside. And to be honest, she's probably accurate.
     
  15. I don't really care how they dress nowadays. When I see a girl dressed like that I look away sooo FAST and sooo HARD.
     
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  16. Indurian

    Indurian Fapstronaut

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    I get the wanting to appreciate women side of things as other posters have suggested but I'm with you on this.

    It's strange, as you could ogle the woman and feel excited for a few seconds, or conversely if you look away time after time you begin to feel good in a different way. Its like refraining from ogling gives you a little boost of energy.

    I understand that this may sound like nonsense but I recommend that others give it a try and see if you get the same outcome
     
  17. +1

    Tough times call for tough measures!
     
  18. bluemax4

    bluemax4 Fapstronaut

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    I think checking girls out could lead you back into the path of porn. If you catch yourself doing it, just remember a second of lust could have you back at square one.
     
  19. Shy_1990

    Shy_1990 Fapstronaut

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    Its interesting you say that.
    Ive spent a lot of time in the netherlands. Even in a mainstreme day spa with saunas ect nudity is compulsory and men and women are all together and you get plenty of young women going to them. Even the change rooms are not seperated.
    And yet. When i go there, even with the issues I have I never get the urge to stare at women or to go and masturbate. Its so interesting how a bunch of young women openly walking around naked infront of you can be less sexual than a normal gym or beach. But it highlights the problems we have in society.
     
  20. sfmark12

    sfmark12 Fapstronaut

    Honestly I'll get shit faced for saying this but dont even resist it. You are attracted to what youre attracted to and if you want to look at women's bottoms thats OK. The problem is you becoming a pervert and staring too long. That's bad. Look for 3 seconds and go back to whatever you were doing.
     

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