chemicals...

hey all

haven't posted here in a WHILE. had been good for months earlier this year, then went into a total relapse for the last few months.

i'm starting to emerge. have had a couple of clean weeks now. but feeling temptation very strongly today. so wanted to reach out to this community. it has helped me in the past to be on here. writing about it and knowing some other people will see it gives me an outlet for whatever's making me want to relapse again.

one observation: i've read a lot of posts about the drug-like aspects of fapping, and i finally saw it for myself yesterday. i was feeling pretty calm, and then the thought of looking at P came into my head. i immediately felt my pulse quicken, my eyes narrow, even my throat close just a tiny bit - i could feel hormones and chemicals pumping into my bloodstream at the mere thought of it. it was helpful to see this, as it made it easier to see it as chemical addiction (not just as an interesting idea but a direct experience of that).

that's all - good luck to all you nofappers out there, we're in it together