Hi there, Similar situation to you! I was badly bullied as a child and even through jr. high. This affected my relationships, self-esteem, mental health to this day. At one point, I never thought I would experience genuine happiness. Anhedonia. Depression. Not giving a shit about anything. You name it. I also suffer from really bad social anxiety, but am definitely on the road to recovery. As a socially anxious person, it can be hard opening up to others, even on an anonymous forum. You're doing a really great thing! There's been a number of things that have been really helping me out in these last few years. Here are a few in no particular order: 1. Focusing on giving in relationships rather than taking 2. Practicing opening up to others (in a non-weird way ofc haha) 3. Daily exercise at the gym 4. Being outside in nature 5. Eating healthy and taking supplements (CBD oil has done wonders) 6. Prioritizing sleep 7. Putting a stop to overthinking 8. Taking ownership of daily decisions and avoiding the victim mentality 9. Of course NoFap 10. Faith in Christ, although this has been up and down lately I'm 24, only two years younger than you. Sometimes life feels hopeless like things will never get better. However, its crazy to think that we are less than a third of the way through our lives, and the choices we make right now can create a completely different future. For me, porn was a way to escape from my life when things felt out of control. However, the addiction wasn't the problem - only a symptom of greater issues - feeling hopeless about the future, not caring about my life, being lonely. Please don't think that there isn't hope because there is. Don't stop trying. Happy to chat more if you want to shoot me a message!