Christian Newbie

Hello everyone,

I've been doing PMO since July last year, and I really want to stop this, especially in the moments just after PMO. Been thinking about using this site for some while, but never had the courage to do so until just then. Hope I can get to meet some people and get an AP or two!

PMO or just MO has made me pretty miserable this past year, leaving me with a truckload of guilt, brain-fogginess and no enthusiasm for anything. I even avoid church sometimes due to the intense internal shame. I really feel myself to be, in the words of Calvin, crawling. Looking forward to crawl with others, and save our libido for our future partner, our energy for Christ.

 

I've been able to go hard mode for about 50 days twice, but relapsed eventually. Wish there was a quick cure, but again maybe the cure is patience and the ability to struggle and prevail consistently.

 

I'm still finding one, already made a request to someone on the AP board.
Still open to any one who's willing to become an AP.

I'm not sure whether its better to have one AP or several.
I wonder if the significance of the AP will vary with numbers.
(Do several APs give better results due to some feeling of teamwork?
Or does it suffer from lack of attention for each individual?
Or does it vary for other reasons etc)