Day 14
The last time I had relapsed was on the 21st of November.
Since then, I have made an honest decision with myself and purposed in my heart that I will not go back again.
One of the greatest realizations was that quite often we blame God for the misfortune in our lives, but really and truly we have a choice. The same choice that was presented to the children of Israel before Moses died and they entered the promised land. Moses presented the curses that come with disobedience and the blessings that come with obedience and told them all to choose (Deuteronomy 30:19).
This thought can be backed up with Romans 6:12 that says "Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body, that you should obey in its lusts"
We have the chance to choose to submit ourselves to the Spirit of God or to our flesh.
One of the greatest blessings is that when we decide to follow God, we can trust in His power to be able to deliver us from this bondage. This also led me to search more about 'why' God would set me free from this. The second mention of serving God in the bible is found in the book of Exodus where God instructs Moses to tell Pharoah "Let my people go that they may serve Me". The purpose of deliverance from oppression (in our case, PMO) is so that we can serve God effectively and enjoy the intimacy that we are able to have with Him as a result.
IMPORTANT: I have told myself many times over that I would not go back, but I kept on falling into the same traps. The bible says "Put on the Lord Jesus Christ and make no provision for the flesh to fulfill its lusts" (Romans 13:14). I have deleted all of my social media (Insta, Snap, Twitter) but many times I would allow myself to click on thumbnails of a sexual nature on youtube (acting like I don't know what I'm doing lool). 'Somehow' wander on Instagram of a pretty youtuber, start looking at different girls on Instagram, somehow arrive at the page of a stripper and last but not least end up on a porn website xD. Another weak point was going on google images and typing in something mundane, clicking every suggestion that was even remotely erotic. It's funny how we want to lie to ourselves. Throughout the whole journey asking myself, how the "hell did I get here???" with a wet tissue in my hand (I'm sure you know this to be true).
You see when you get on the rollercoaster, it's very hard to come off. The bible says that we should not give the devil a foothold (Ephesians 4:27). It also says that we should not place confidence in the flesh (Philippians 3:3). God has given us so many of His principles and protocols for freedom that I and many others have not followed. Many times have we brushed off our triggers as 'It's not that serious', but they are.
I believe in the importance of identifying our triggers and being honest with ourselves & also God. Jesus can sympathise with us in our weaknesses and was tempted in all areas yet without sin (Hebrews 4:15) & I'm sure the babes of Jerusalem were pretty fine too haha. He can help us with whatever we're going through.
The bible says in John 8:32 "You shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free". In Isaiah it says "my people have gone in to captivity for lack of knowledge" & the book of proverbs says that "by knowledge, the just shall be delivered".
The truth of God breaks the lie over your life, believing that you are a prisoner to this. Jesus has come to set you free from this bondage and we must apply His principles in order to see victory. We must submit ourselves to God, in order to resist the devil. Daily I speak back to the voice of temptation and say "I am no longer serving you pornography, masturbation & lust. My penis and my eyes, I no longer serve you, I serve the Lord Jesus Christ".
I have decided to follow Jesus and Christ is my master from now on. The presence of God has intensified in this short period of time and I feel free & I will continue to update you on the different things that I learn along the way.
I propose a prayer for you:
say it only if you mean it
"Father in heaven, I come before you and I acknowledge my sin. I have masturbated, watched pornography and lusted in my heart after women. I have broken your law and broken your heart through this. I repent, I don't want to continue in this sin any longer and I want to serve your will and purposes for my life that bring genuine love, peace, and joy (Galatians 5:22). I believe that as I confess this to you, you have forgiven me according to your Word in 1 John 1:9. In the name of Jesus, I renounce and loose myself from the shackles of porn, masturbation, lust, fantasy & sexual perversion. I submit myself to your Lordship & I ask you to give me the revelation of You required for my freedom. Father, I need your help, please intervene in my life and deliver me speedily from myself, the lies I have believed and from the hands of the enemy. Father, I invite you into every area of my life, take control and lead me to people that want to genuinely know you and will help me to get to know you for myself. Lead me down the path of deliverance and let your presence and love come and envelope me now. Speak to me Lord. In Jesus name. Amen"
This is not a light prayer, begin to start noticing the changes in your life after saying this.
Bless you my brothers & sisters.
