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(Christian) Will I perform well on my honeymoon? Serious answers

Discussion in 'Rebooting in a Relationship' started by instant Shining Wizard, Jul 9, 2020.

  1. Hey I'm trying to quit my porn addiction since being a teenager. I am 27 now. I could be married to my wonderful SO within the next 2 years or so. And being Christian, we're doing the no sex before marriage. I'm not a virgin, but she is.

    Am I going to explode at first touch, and ruin her first time?
    Am I gonna be able to perform well after being clean?
     
    JamesTheSquirrel likes this.
  2. Hi Instant Shining Wizard,

    Personally I wouldn't worry about finishing too quickly. Some women find this flattering and there are plenty of options such waiting and going again, and using other types of stimulation to satisfy her. Being your wife's first time it may be uncomfortable for her so I would just try to focus on making her feel comfortable. The best thing you can do is to be open and talk to her about your worries with her.

    From my own experience, my use of PMO led to me having DE and PIED. It's far better to finish quickly than not be able finish at all as this can cause all sorts of confidence issues for both partners. There are so many reasons why being clean is the right thing to do and you shouldn't let these worries hold you back in your recovery.

    I think it's great that you are focusing on quitting now and I wish you the best of luck in your relationship!
     
  3. This! For her first time, chances are you're going to have to take penetration very slowly as to not hurt her, and it can be such a long process it might actually be difficult to stay hard, especially when you're worried about causing her pain. To be honest, taking a woman's virginity can be a... not very sexy process in general. Your only real goal here is that she doesn't run out of the room crying because you shoved it in too fast (she might still run out of the room crying, but it won't be due to you). Good sex is something that takes a while to build between couples, so don't worry about rocking her world off the bat or think that you need to be so good in bed she has a spiritual epiphany and starts speaking in tongues. Just be kind and gentle, and most importantly, listen to her if she asks you to change something up or do it differently. Take your ego out of the equation, and you'll do fine.
     
  4. Doomsday

    Doomsday Fapstronaut

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    Being her first time finishing quickly would be better for her I should think, my SO hates my DE or more tothe point hates it when I go ages with no end result.

    make the build up and foreplay really special and if you ejaculate very quickly let her know thats exactly what she does to you.

    women in particular aren’t interested in going a long time, however it is important that she also finishes id get this done before penetration especially once she’s comfortable with sex, basically don’t leave her frustrated or even feeling as if you don’t care as long as you finish.

    good luck dude
     
  5. Steppingintotheunkown

    Steppingintotheunkown Fapstronaut

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    This is a great question and fantastic answers. As a religious person myself, this is something that has always concerned me
     
  6. fredisthebes

    fredisthebes Fapstronaut

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    Try not to build up too many hopes about her 'first time'. For either of you. Focus on making her feel comfortable, making her feel accepted and admired. If she is a virgin, she will probably be quite frightened and you will need to reassure her that everything she is doing is ok (or gently guide her if it is not ok!). Take it slow. Ridiculously slow! You have your whole lives to get good at this.

    And don't worry if nothing/not very much happens the first night. Whether it's due to you or her. It takes practice, this stuff, and she is a complete beginner.
     
  7. Wow, THANK YOU for all the wholesome input! Super valuable and encouraging. And thank you for treating my SO with the level of respect I would.

    It’s so easy to hear contrary things out there about how you have to blow her mind and how overemphasized the sexual part is of the relationship. Thanks everyone, really.
     
  8. Do you exceed in everything you do the first time? Probably not but it is still a lot of fun.

    Start easy with no expectations. You (and her) learn by doing, along the way. There are many more ways to enjoy one another, find what you both like. And take your time to find it. Finding it is the best part.
     

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