Christianity and PMO Recovery, Good or Bad?

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I am wondering if religion, specifically Christianity, is/has been beneficial to me and my PMO recovery or not. I was raised as a Christian, my immediate family and extended family are devout Christians. My brother has been more involved in going to church it seems. My uncle out of nowhere "reached out" to me recently about his Christian "journey". For me there has always been a religious component to my struggle with PMO. This has involved guilt/shame, crying out for help to God, feeling like God has abandoned me, trying out churches, etc. It can turn in to a whole spiritual psychodrama. I have not been religious for a long time now, many years. However I know that many people turn to Christianity as part of their recovery, or even attribute their recovery to Christianity. I however have been thinking that I need to "take the plunge" in the opposite direction, and fully embrace atheism, instead of being wishy-washy about it like I always have been. The thought of embracing atheism actually seems kind of liberating to me. I feel like the thought of embracing atheism is actually helping me through this time of initial recovery, rather than turning back again to Christianity. I should say that there are other non-PMO reasons for me to give up Christianity, which I won't get in to here. I am also worried though that giving up Christianity will (further) alienate me from my family, but also feel like I need to cut the tether, I am old enough and can live my life how I want to

I am very interested in hearing both sides. I am merely speaking from my own personal perspective, what has worked/not worked for me, and don't wish to make it seem like I am passing judgement on an entire religion, because different things work for different people
 
It’s not an accident that all recovery programs encourage members to turn their lives over to a higher power. Many choose to approach that from a secular viewpoint while others a Christian or another religion. The reason being is that it puts you in a place of humility to realize how truly powerless we can become in overcoming an addiction.

I know that being raised Christian and being Christian can bring with it a lot of baggage. I know it can amplify the shame and guilt associated with any addiction but especially sexual addiction. And in all of that and in the agenda of individual church’s the fundamental message can get at best muddled and at worst completely lost. I believe the true message to be

1. There is a God
2. God loves humanity so much that he put his essence into a human man, allowed him to be murdered in the most awful and inhumane way in order to reconcile with us
3. God wants a relationship desperately with each individual person. It’s more about this relationship than any rules set forth by man
4. That love does not change ever no matter what sin pattern a person has in their life
5. God wants people to have the best possible life
6. God wants humans to love and respect one another
7. Repentance (change) is in our best interest in regards to the destructive behaviors in our lives

Which is why we are all here sharing our stories and looking for encouragement in the first place. Good luck on your recovery no matter what path that you decide to follow. I would encourage you to seek God in a new way outside the bounds of your upbringing. Either way God will never stop seeking you.
 
Arnuld said:
It’s not an accident that all recovery programs encourage members to turn their lives over to a higher power. Many choose to approach that from a secular viewpoint while others a Christian or another religion. The reason being is that it puts you in a place of humility to realize how truly powerless we can become in overcoming an addiction.

I know that being raised Christian and being Christian can bring with it a lot of baggage. I know it can amplify the shame and guilt associated with any addiction but especially sexual addiction. And in all of that and in the agenda of individual church’s the fundamental message can get at best muddled and at worst completely lost. I believe the true message to be

1. There is a God
2. God loves humanity so much that he put his essence into a human man, allowed him to be murdered in the most awful and inhumane way in order to reconcile with us
3. God wants a relationship desperately with each individual person. It’s more about this relationship than any rules set forth by man
4. That love does not change ever no matter what sin pattern a person has in their life
5. God wants people to have the best possible life
6. God wants humans to love and respect one another
7. Repentance (change) is in our best interest in regards to the destructive behaviors in our lives

Which is why we are all here sharing our stories and looking for encouragement in the first place. Good luck on your recovery no matter what path that you decide to follow. I would encourage you to seek God in a new way outside the bounds of your upbringing. Either way God will never stop seeking you.
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Thank you Arnuld, appreciate the message
 
Roady said:
The question is not: Christianity and PMO: good or bad.
But: what 's the truth?

I've sought a long time in my life through all kind of stuff and religions, before God revealed Himself to me.
Through Jesus Christ. If He once revealed Himself, I will always know He exists, no matter how far I run away from Him (I once did, but He leaded me back to His heart). Jesus claimed to be the truth. I know can admit: He is the truth.

To me personally, I really really love and enjoy the peace only Jesus can give me. And I will do anything to maintain that peace.
And i believe that only with the system God created together with His being (His unconditional love, mercy, forgiveness) it's possible to get rid of PMO, just because His love and peace is the only thing that the emptiness in my heart could and can fill in.
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Thank you Roady, that's really awesome!
 
SuperFurryThing,

Despite being what's often called a "cradle Catholic," I've also had my doubts over the years, but when I joined my first recovery program back in my mid-20's, my faith in God, how I refer to my Higher Power, became stronger as I learned to trust in him and turn my life over to him. Prior to that I was afraid of God and of committing what we Catholics call a "mortal sin," the kind of sin that condemns one to Hell. But as I worked that program and other programs, including NoFap, as I made my inventories and my amends, I came to see that I was not a sinful, defective person, but a wonderful part of God's creation who too often chose to do what pleased me and not what pleased my loving Father. Not that God was going to condemn me to perdition every time I PMO'ed, but instead he was forgiving of me even before I forgave myself.

This past summer I spent almost a week on a silent retreat contemplating these issues and came to realize that God made me who I am, that what I see as defects are especial gifts that help me in becoming more empathetic to those who have similar needs, like the young people I deal with in my ministry, some of whom have confided in me of their own struggles with PMO. If not for my own addiction, I could never counsel them. So I see my addictive personality, born of a serotonin imbalance and an abusive upbringing, as a gift I can share with them as I help them to find healthier ways of dealing with their budding sexuality. (Most often, I prescribe cold showers, which they can't stand, and going to the gym to work out, which they love to do.)

I am not perfect, and I wouldn't want to be. So I relapse sometimes. Big deal. All I can do is stand up, brush off the dirt, and try it again. I know God will give me the grace to try again no matter how often I fall because that's how much he loves me. And he loves you just as much.

I hope this helps.
 
I was brought up as Christian but neither myself or my family were very serious about it (cultural Christians). In my early 20s I read books and watched lectures and debates by famous atheists like Richard Dawkins, Sam Harris, Christopher Hitchens etc.
Their arguments are compelling and I not only came out the other end basically an atheist (you can never be 100% atheist), but it also encouraged me to start thinking more critically about all sorts of things.

Its very easy to become an atheist and then start relentlessly shitting on Christianity and other religions, and while some of it is deserved, I feel a lot of people really do throw the baby out with the bath water.

When I got older I started to think more about how to be a truly good person. I started to notice and appreciate how effective Christianity actually was at instilling moral values into a population.
I used to occasionally hear criticisms against the atheists that they offered no alternative and there was a risk of a moral void being created. The counter argument was that atheists would use reason and civil discourse to discuss these issues (which absolutely happens btw) and then decide for themselves what is best.
But the problem is that the average person isn't actually interested in this kind of discussion and is happy to be irreligious because it makes them feel less guilty when they act immorally.

This has essentially caused a situation where traditional values are being mowed down relentlessly to make way for an anything-goes moral vacuum.
The most moral people you will find are now the original opposing forces: both (practicing) Christians and former Christian atheists. This is because they are the two major groups that are most likely to have spent much more time than the average person thinking about ethics/morals.

The fact of the matter is that religions still contain ancient wisdom that is true independent of the religion. Years of wisdom passed down through generations where ordinary people are dealing with essentially the same issues we are today.

While I think atheists and Christians have all the reason to continue debating with eachother, right now it is absolutely not the right time. We need every ounce of morality we can muster to fight off the kind of decadence and social decay that indicate what is possible the end of (western) civilization.

Atheists and Christians need to be working together right now.
 
From a purely philosophical lens of unbiased scientifically grounded theosophy study I have to say yes, the wisdom teachings alone contained within that faith are universally earth renderingly profound and true.

Notice I did not use the words Jesus nor God nor Bible, until this sentence.

Not a follower of it but I have to argue it has innate self-improvement qualities surpassing many modern day self proclaimed gurus writing books on how to make it by getting wealthy.
 
I agree that the deepest of questions is, "what is the truth?". I wrote about this in my own journal but I became a Christian when I was 21. Many desires passed away but over time lust got worse and worse. It was/is crippling to know and believe my sin was bought and paid for and still had this awful habit. However, with 30 years experience under my belt I know that reality=truth and throughout the entire old testament God's people were in bondage whether spiritually or physically and it's no different today. The Bible promises struggles but that's only part of the story. Balance is key. Sorry to ramble. I guess the bottom line is that I think struggling with something we know is wrong is universal no matter what you believe. Another good question is, "where does my sense of right and wrong come from?"
 
As someone who's been on both sides of the fence (grew up Christian, now atheist), religion won't make or break recovery. The struggle when I was a believer is no different than the struggle now as an atheist. I'm not going to bash religion or discourage you from religion, as it seems to help some people. It does give people a sense of meaning and purpose in their lives, and atheists have the scary proposition of answering those hard questions for themselves, without being told what to think.

Personally, I think people "project" facets of themselves on to their ideas of God and the Devil, and sometimes fail to take personal responsibility for their own accomplishments and failures.
 
One criticism I have of Christianity is the constant guilt and bashing for simply being human. It turns natural weaknesses and faults and mistakes and instincts into capital crimes. I don't think that's healthy. I've learned to be more self-accepting and had less problems with self-hate as an atheist. The perfectionism and OCD about sin and guilt is not pleasant. I have problems with holding myself to a basically impossibly high standard even now, and am in the process of simply learning to live and let live. Christians don't know how to live, as they don't care about this life or even taking care of our planet for future generations, but they only care about the alleged afterlife.
 
I appreciate all the responses guys. I'm happy that Christianity works for some people. By no means do I want to take that away or minimize it.
Yes I believe that there is wisdom in Christianity, the same for other religions.
I suppose I judge something by how useful or beneficial it is, not whether it is "true". Some things in Christianity have been beneficial to me and some things haven't. I feel free to use and discard what I wish.
Furthermore the idea of no longer living in fear of eternal damnation for unbelief I find totally liberating at this point.
Anyways, this is all bigger than my addiction to PMO, but the question of religion has been such a big part of that struggle, that I thought it important to address it here

Thank you.
 
I grew up in a house that never acted like Christians even though we went to church here and there. Now, I'm in my 40's and I understand what it means to be a Christian, and I try to act like it the best way I can. In this situation, personally, I don't see Christianity literally helping me in my recovery, but it does give me several reasons to continue in my recovery. There are many verses about sexual immorality and sexual purity that remind me what God has told me He wants me to do.
 
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