Christmas is a bitch

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by ChemistryWolfie, Dec 26, 2019.

  1. ChemistryWolfie

    ChemistryWolfie Fapstronaut

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    oke guys, so how do you experience Christmas?
    For me it’s like the loneliest period. I’ve celebrated with my father on the 25th and my mother the 26th but it still feels stupid. My grandparents all passed away. I don’t have brothers nor sisters. I’m not a father yet and my father has no lady at this moment. First Christmas Day felt like a normal visit without anything special. Yes there was a tree and we both gave a present to one another. Still there was nobody else. I could only think about how it will be in the future when he passes away. There will be nobody left. I just can’t stand that life is about a certain pace and that everybody needs to adapt to society's borders. I don’t know if i like this world enough to put children on it, it seems to me like a very hard place. I’m getting sick of everybody using their phone all the time, with headphones on/in their ears and ‘zombie mode’ to the next appointment, people in the gym doing ‘leg press’ while they app during the ‘set’. You cannot talk to lots of people, they are all on their way to their next deadline, or totally in their own world of social media. The only thing I’m trying to say is; when you want to make new friends, and for real, it’s very difficult. When friends from high school are out of sight and the rest is very busy just like me and you don’t have a relationship and your own family is like two people, how the hell can you have a good time. I’m going to different places, but making real friends is very hard these days. Or do I have a wrong interpretation of ‘friends’, I don’t like to call people that I only know for a short period, or that have a totally different mentality ‘friends’. The world is so fast these days that my way of connecting with people is too slow. When I’m new to a social club or whatever it always takes time for me to adapt and they don’t give you the time, their so freaking judge mental as if something is wrong with you. I’m just an ADD personality that has struggle with big groups of people, but they don’t quite understand that. It feels lonely. I hope I can meet a lady that understands that I’m a beautiful soul and a real good and funny, good looking guy, I only need some time.
     
  2. Samadhi Pañña

    Samadhi Pañña Fapstronaut

    Hi, thanks for the wise rant. It‘s good you do not feel the need to adapt in order to belong to the zombies ... Have you heard of Milton Erickson?

    „One of Erickson's most vivid autohypnotic moments occurred while he had polio. During his illness, he experienced a hypnotic state and spent many weeks becoming keenly aware of how his physical communication would often contradict his verbal communication. Erickson spent much of his early adulthood in solitude, focusing on learning how to understand his own body language. This interest would prevail throughout his career.“

    He was cut off from „normal“ life.

    Rather than lose yourself in circumstances and conditions and people with their drama study them, observe them. Find patterns, flaws, try to see behind the facade. Sit in a big train station hall watch people and guess their stories. Just as you shared yours they have stories too. Even when with app in gym or with ear stuffed ... was there abuse, violence, neglect, love, laughter, siblings, etc.
    Curiosity can do wonder in a world so remote. You connect. On your own terms.

    PS: I go to SLAA Meetings as well, f2f and online. Good stuff. Still struggling with that Higher Power but slowly getting it.

    PSS: I used to say: Life‘s not a bitch it‘s a pimp.
     
  3. SemenTank

    SemenTank Fapstronaut

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    My Christmas experience usually is also lonely. Yeah, I'm at home with my mother or father most of the times at the christmas, but it's just.... Lonely, yeah. A lots of dudes and chicks have big smiles on their faces in instagram and facebook and they just make me want to vomit. I just listen to my music and take a walk. Like every normal day.
    About living in this society... Well, I'm 19 and sometimes feel angry because of how much people indeed are just zombies or just socially disabled cunts who just act big in instagram or just simply on internet while in life they are just boring as hell. But I have a good friend, can talk with many people around me so I don't really worry about it. Finding wife could be a challange, but if I search in my interest zone I guess I will find her fast. About putting kids on earth... Well, yeah, life is a bit hard but we can make it even harder by bitching about it, so no no no. I stopped crying, and realised how weak actually this thing is. It's not hard at all.
     
    Samadhi Pañña likes this.
  4. In christmas everyone gets a excuse to drink drougs most days and left with hungover the rest, im usually alone
     
  5. browneyes88

    browneyes88 Fapstronaut

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    Christmas was awful for me. New Year's usually is a catalyst for an existential crisis. It's so difficult. You're not alone in feeling deep pain. Our society is so individualistic on top of everything else. Hang on. Take it one day at a time. That's what I keep telling myself when I just want to give up! You never know when things could take a turn for the better.
     
  6. SuperiorMan95

    SuperiorMan95 Fapstronaut

    Similar boat as you man. Plus the parental situation I have here is pretty fucked up. I feel like I'm not doing myself much good by staying here (around my parents). Maybe you should move. It sounds like you have a pretty shitty social life in general. I do too (kind of). They say that "what's wrong is always available but so is what's right." About the kids in the world thing. I get it but it seems to me that you just have a "jaded worldview". You've been so focused on the darkness of life that you've lost touch with the light. Life was never super easy and even if it was, it never lasted. I challenge you to improve how you see the world. Get out of your crappy situation. Go live somewhere else. Go meet positive/uplifting people. Don't spend too much time ruminating on the negative alone in your head. As we speak, it's Friday night and there's a good chance I'll spend it on my own in the house BUT I'm working on saving money and getting out of here. I'm working on improving my social life. Rome wasn't built in a day and knowing that I'm making some kind of progress always uplifts me. The question is are you trying to make progress or are you just sulking like a pussy?
     
  7. ChemistryWolfie

    ChemistryWolfie Fapstronaut

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    Im doing 5 days of study, 2 days of work, i give massages every once in a while, im going to dancing lessons every week, i have a social circle of 7 people. But every friend is freaking busy and sometimes it’s just lonely. I’m the type of person that wants to develop skills and meet new people. My social life is not shitty. And unfortunately I’ve seen to much darkness in my life for years, so it’s logical that my addiction was a safe way to get rid of the feelings, now that im past day 40 I notice that it gets more lonely because the ‘gap’ was filled with sex but now you have to fill it with positivity but meditation, writing, running and so on is just ‘being alone’, I want to meet more positive people but they are hard to find, believe me haha! I’m building Rome like Rome has never been before, that’s how hard I’m working, how big and beautiful Rome will be, believe me mate!
     
    SuperiorMan95 likes this.
  8. SuperiorMan95

    SuperiorMan95 Fapstronaut

    I like your mentality. I just spent 10+ hours straight designing my vision for 2020. I spent the entire day by myself doing that and listening to nature sounds (I'm sketching the blueprint for Rome ;) haha). It's Saturday and I am alone. It may be another lonely night. We'll see.
     
    ChemistryWolfie likes this.

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