Christmas present to myself

With one month to go until the big day, I’ve realised that the best present I can wish for is to be one month into my reboot by Christmas Day.

I returned to this forum a couple of months back having been away for years. Since then my behaviour has escalated to the point that I’m now feeling scared and out of control. I’ve been a slave to my urges and impulses...not only with porn but also phone sex and escorts. A whole sorry mess that is now costing me money as well as behaviour that is incompatible with who I know I really am deep down.

So it starts here, today. I will come back online later today to reset my counter and start a reboot log, just wanted to at least capture this latest turning point in the long, winding and bumpy road to recovery.

And also to give a ray of hope to others who are in the midst of a relapse that they don’t want - it will pass and you must grab your next moment of clarity and lucid thinking to make today the first day of your recovery. It’s starts today and it starts with you wanting to do it.