Climbing out of the hole

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by Honkadonku, Dec 6, 2016.

  1. Honkadonku

    Honkadonku Fapstronaut

    Hello friends,
    I made it 36 days today, and will continue to maintain my abstinence until the proper time. I have been trying to quit for the past two years, and this is the first streak where I have gone more than a month without masturbating. :) I quit porn because I wanted to experience more of my emotions, and handle them like normal humans do. It really blunts me, it didn't bother me until I became aware of how cold and callous I was compared to others. I want to be more empathetic, and truly care for others. I cannot do that if my primary goal is to indulge in self-pleasuring.

    Over the past few years I have noticed a few positive things:
    I am more aware of my surroundings.
    Assisting people has become more automatic. (Typically I would wait until the individual called for help, if they did.)
    I have a higher level of confidence.
    I take greater pleasure in the simple things in life. Observing nature, hiking, exercising...
    I am able to function at work, and in social gatherings.

    Currently I am enjoying all of these benefits, they diminish if I relapse and fall back into a cycle of negative thinking.

    For me, I found it best not to use a web-filter. When I had urges, finding ways to get around what ever restrictions I had set for my self only made the whole experience more exciting and "enjoyable." It added an extra layer of thrill to and already over-stimulating experience. I rely on self-discipline and being conscious of what I click on. "Will this potentially lead to something I do not want to view?" "Do I want to lose ground?" Once you begin to think in this way, you will be safer online.

    -Keep yourself engaged with productive activities.
    I try to read regularly, find ways to improve at work, and make time for social outings. It makes the time pass faster, and minimizes my opportunities for relapse. Idle hands are dangerous!

    -Find out what pushes you to relapse
    I found out that I was using pornography to medicated my incredibly anxious state. I wasn't aware of it until I began to quit, as time went on it became exposed. I used pornography to drown out my negative thoughts and to soothe my soul.

    -Be reasonable with your goals
    Do not try to change yourself overnight. Start with simple attainable goals. When decide that you are going to quit porn, go to the gym, get a better job and become a millionaire in the next three months... the results will be quite disappointing. I made this mistake so many times, so many times! This is the one thing that has made this reboot so much easier. I only tackle what I can handle, and I break the goals down to a daily and weekly basis. Checklists are your friend. I recommend applications like Evernote to keep track of your successes, no matter how small.

    I also highly recommend reading up on anxiety and it's manifestations, without a crutch your mind may begin to mess with you in unfamiliar ways. Prepare yourself and it will be so much easier!
  2. Dr. Jekyll

    Dr. Jekyll Fapstronaut

    Thank you for this wonderful first post - I am happy to know that there are people like you in the world!
    chuka and Honkadonku like this.
  3. Currer

    Currer New Fapstronaut

    Today i feel unsettled inside, not physically but mentally. It seems that i am now on the verge of fapping. So I return to Nofap to see you guys' comment,trying to get me calm down. I can feel the evil me who is trying to convince me you need to relax and release your tension through this 'wonderful' way.
    Deadlihood and DormantWonders like this.
  4. Dreadnoughts

    Dreadnoughts Fapstronaut

    There's a reaso I have Fight off your Demons tattooed across my collar bone. You can do it man. Whether is the PMO or any part of it, if it's anexity, paranoia, anything you can fight off your demons.
    Just keep telling yourself your Demons do not have to define who you are or control your life. Your life is yours to control and let nothing stop you from living your life how you want.
  5. 85model

    85model Fapstronaut

    I love reading stories like this. I'm back to struggling hard. I really want to get on with my life, it just keeps dragging me back in.
  6. feo1966

    feo1966 Fapstronaut

    There is no "evil" part of you. Just a part that was trained that that pmo feels good.

    Think of it as a puppy that was poorly trained.....not an evil puppy. And then work on retraining it.
    chuka likes this.
  7. I understand how you feel. Keep strong and if you fell back in the loop, forgive yourself and keep trying. Nofapl has helped me greatly and I look forward to being fap free soon. We are in this together!
    Last edited: Feb 27, 2017
  8. Deadlihood

    Deadlihood Fapstronaut

    Stay strong, and stay smart! No edging or p-subs allowed. ;)

    Also - congratulations on 36+ days, OP!
    DormantWonders likes this.
  9. Honkadonku

    Honkadonku Fapstronaut

    Hi Friends, I would also like to add a bit on dealing with urges.

    It is important to accept them and move on. I used to get anxious when I got an urge, which increased my stress and eventually led to relapse. Now I acknowledge the urge and answer it with reason.

    "It would be great to go check up on so-and-so, see what's new."
    A: "It would be, if it didn't make me so upset after. I don't want to watch that, honestly."

    Then I redirect my thoughts. I don't try to force myself to stop fantasizing/lusting I just change the channel.
    Aloha, chuka, pPalluD and 1 other person like this.
  10. Very good advice.
    Dr. Jekyll likes this.
  11. chuka

    chuka Fapstronaut

    Dr. Jekyll likes this.
  12. CrazyLife

    CrazyLife Fapstronaut

    Well done man! Keep it going!
    Dr. Jekyll likes this.
  13. Aloha

    Aloha Fapstronaut

    Congratulations bro keep going, could you please mention the books that helped you in your amazing journey?
    Dr. Jekyll likes this.

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