Climbing out of the trenches

After a rough week of relapses, I realize how much power this addiction has over me. I've been doing some reading as of recently, particularly Rewire Your Brain. The book focuses on addiction and how to break that. Over the past 4 1/2 years I have created neural pathways in my brain relating particular thoughts and pornography.

These pathways will always exist. The only way to break this cycle is to reprogram my cues to not be associated with pmo. Over the next 10 days I will focus extra hard on this. Every time an urge comes in to my mind I will think of porn differently. I will think of porn as "disgusting" and "harmful". I will immediately react to unwanted thoughts this way.

And for when I become aroused at the end of the day, I will replace pmo with a productive activity. I will not use any digital media because this always brings unnecessary urges.

Wish me luck. I will go for 10 days and then continue from there. For the first 10 days I will reply to this thread.

 

Day 0.

 

Day 1

Worked a full shift today. Came home and ate food. Gonna go out tonight and then come home and read a book. I will not relapse today.

 

Day 2

Worked a full shift today then came home to eat and then did a chest workout at the gym. No more fucking pornography. This entire week I will be constantly busy, so will have very few windows to relapse. Also considering going on the carnivore diet.

 

Day 4 i think. Missed the entry for the previous day because i've been so busy which is a good thing. Been very productive. Tomorrow I am starting my carnivore diet. Will be doing for the entire month of Febuary and maybe past that if it goes well. Past two days i've been working and doing school. Have had about 1 hour of free time in total. This is a prime opportunity for me to quit porn because i'm so busy I don't even have time to think about it, thus giving my brain time to repair. Tomorrow, I have free time until 1:30, so I am going to wake up at 620 and take an ice bath and then study. Will go to the gym in the morning and then head to school. No porn. Time to quit.

 

Day 5 since I made the decision to quit porn. Been fucking killing it. Just started the carnivore diet, so no more junk food for about a month. Woke up today at 6:20 and took an ice bath and then studied before school. Worked out later in the day and hit my incline bench press pr. Also, one of the things i've been noticing is that I've been getting looks from girls. I keep making eye contact with them. Might make a move one of these day. Sadly I don't really have the time for it though. Tomorrow I will wake up at 6 to take an ice bath and then study before school. No more porn