Close to 100 days, but feel i'm going backwards

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by Hold the Line, Nov 19, 2021.

  1. Hold the Line

    Hold the Line Fapstronaut

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    i've seen some improvements in my mental state during this streak, but for the last 3 weeks or so there is a reverse effect, i feel that im going back to my older self, less confident, less optimist, angrier, easly pissed.
    dont know what to do, im maintaining a good habit or having minimal free time.
    im working full time, working out, but it feels like there is no more progress, im not reaching the peaks i wished for.
    im easly triggered, aroused and notice more urges lately, getting harder to repress them
     
  2. Jonas 2:10

    Jonas 2:10 Fapstronaut

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    When I reached my 90 for the first time, I felt like shit too, but now ,when I am looking back today, I see it differently. It has been amazing time of my life. I was working my ass off, running like crazy and going to church frequently and so on. I think that now you cant see the bigger picture, just like I couldn´t. Rest more to feel better maybe, but KEEP WORKING. Right now your inner change is in process. STAY FOCUSED.
     
  3. silex_jedi

    silex_jedi Fapstronaut

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    you know i am in the same state sometimes... i call it a blessing because i feel like i have return to my teenager state. insecure. shy. isolated. i can use that state to understand who i was... it's an opportunity to correct that.

    i have no advice i feel the struggle. by the way i must go back to working out my body.

    you only see the results compounded over at least a few months ! that's only my 23-year-old life experience.
     
    again likes this.
  4. Hold the Line

    Hold the Line Fapstronaut

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    what is your streak?
     
  5. TothBernat

    TothBernat Fapstronaut

    I can relate. I had a few 90+ days streak, PMO is behind me for years now. I had a similar experience to what you described. The most important thing is don't give up. Trust the process and know that it will get better.

    Have you looked at what might be the cause of the imbalance you're feeling? Some obvious ones might be Vitamin D deficiency (almost impossible to get enough from food and most people don't get enough sun this time of year), lack of sleep, irrational fears, negative thought patterns...

    One universal tool to help is meditation, whatever works for you. I recommend feeling your natural breath as it gets you out of your head and into your body.

    Hope you'll feel strong soon!
     
  6. Hold the Line

    Hold the Line Fapstronaut

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    in my opinion it might be ''sexual hunger''
    after all im 22, young, dont pmo anymore, dont have a girlfriend, never had sex, never kissed a girl, i repress all sexual thoughts so i wont relapse.
    and you know man it gets you its hard not to have any sexual experience at all, after all i craved it and i still didnt get it at my age its hard and causes frustration
     
  7. TothBernat

    TothBernat Fapstronaut

    I feel you man, 100%. I was without a girlfriend at the time of recovering and I too was so hungry... And at the same time holding myself back to avoid a relapse. Even when I felt magnetic and exchanged deep and exciting eye contact with girls, when I talked to them and I was basking in their natural attraction, when I could feel that my raw masculine presence makes their hearts beat, something was holding me back from taking another step.

    Let me tell you what happened to me, maybe it will help you as well. I realized that all my frustration and craving was wrong. It went against the truth and it was only in my head. I took a deep look inside and realized they were coming from irrational fears. Yes, I was full of confidence and feeling great about myself. But there was still some fear left. Did I really not date those girls because I wanted to avoid a relapse? Of course not. I was above 90 days and made huge progress. I didn't date those girls because my whole life has changed so quickly, after years of suppressing my potential, and as good as it felt, it was still new and unknown.

    So if you have a similar experience, then all you have to do is accept that you and your life is changing and embrace everything it brings. NoFap isn't only about the benefits. It's about leaving the craving teenager behind and growing into a man. It comes with responsibility, authenticity, self discipline and honesty every day. You know you wouldn't have taken this journey and gotten here if you didn't already have those qualities. You know there is greatness inside you and you are meant for big things. Take a deep breath and ask yourself if you're ready to take the next step.

    Trust yourself and trust the universe. Everything will come in time, you're on the right path. It doesn't matter that you haven't kissed a girl at 22. You're a true man, a quality that's rare to find in people these days. You're taking control of your own life. You're brave and capable with a strong heart, otherwise you couldn't have reached 90 days or even started this journey. If you keep going, everything will unfold and you will find the right girl. I wish you the best, brother, from the bottom of my heart!
     
  8. Hold the Line

    Hold the Line Fapstronaut

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    I'm touched, really!
    Thank you for your deep and kind words, they gave me much more strength, i'm on a course headed in a good direction, and i don't want to spoil it!
    I am grateful for understanding these things at my age, some people take much longer, if at all, to understand them.
    PMO is only a part of this process that includes working out, meditation, eating better, actually it's amazing you know?
    After learning how to resist the hardest sexual urges, resisting to junk food is so easy, although i allow myself to sometimes get something nice, can't eat only salads after all :D
     
  9. again

    again Fapstronaut
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    Very encouraging post. Thank you.
     
  10. again

    again Fapstronaut
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    I was impressed with @TothBernat 's post and equally so with your response. You are clearly a fine young man. I like your motto Hold the Line. Great!
     
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  11. TothBernat

    TothBernat Fapstronaut

    I love your positive outlook brother! And thank you for replying, it fills me with happiness to know that you found strength in my experience.
    You're certainly in a great position for understanding these things at your age! Especially that you're taking care of yourself so well like you mentioned, with working out, meditating and eating better. Those things make huge positive impacts in your life if you do them consistently. I'm so happy for you!

    I agree about the junk food part, we can't eat only salads :) I'm personally blessed because my Japanese girlfriend loves to cook and I'm eating warm, home-cooked meals made with love every day. But every once in a while we do a "cheat day". We're actually about to head out to a confectionery for some cofee and sweets. And when you know you're taking care of yourself, these things are actually fun and guilt-free :D
     
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  12. Hold the Line

    Hold the Line Fapstronaut

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    I think we all here agree porn makes you a si mp, i just told it to my friends (they all watch porn)
    and as soon as i said it they all starting attacking that statement, it was like a coordinated attack lol
    i think people are in a state of denial, they enjoy pmo so much the can't even consider the option that it damages them.
    they say that ''it's all about dosage''
    they think i over antagonized porn the same way i did with smoking and drinking (i dont do them at all, ever!)
     
    TothBernat likes this.
  13. Hold the Line

    Hold the Line Fapstronaut

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  14. TothBernat

    TothBernat Fapstronaut

    I can see why a regular porn user would automaticelly defend it. PMO is a huge reward for the brain for almost no effort. It's like a cheatcode. Click a few times, feel like you're suddely having sex with hundreds of women of your choice. You're a God. Writing this down made me smile :D I mean we have to admit, the human mind and body are capable of incredible things but this part of our brain which thinks like this, and mistakes pixels on a screen for reality, is still very primitive. And yet so many people don't realize that. They get caught in this trap with no awareness of the reality.

    I was actually just thinking about friends a while ago. I remembered how I had to let go of a few of them on my journey. I simply outgrew them. I don't mean to say I'm in any way better than them, I was just headed in a different direction with different goals, and spending time together had no more purpose. That's a natural side effect of NoFap. You will see the people in your life who are strong willed and ready to do something with their lives, and those who just want to sleep a little bit longer and half ass their lives. We also need to accept that it's not our job to wake those people up. Even if they used to be our best friends and we had so much faith in them. They'll be ready when they are ready, and you can't find their own determination purpose for them. Try to force that and you might even push them further away from it. The best thing you can do is work on yourself and be an inspiration to them. And if you have to let them go because they're holding you back, there's nothing wrong with that either.

    Respect for not smoking and drinking either, man! You're not missing anything. Whatever truth you will learn about your friends, I hope you know that you can always rely on yourself and if you keep working on yourself, the right people will come into your life over time.
     
  15. Hold the Line

    Hold the Line Fapstronaut

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    Thanks again for the reply, you write really well!
    About what you earlier said, that even in a big streak, feeling sexual hunger, you still can't bring yourself to pick up girls although you feel much more confident, in in that exact place, i feel better with myself, at work, i sociallize more easily, sometimes even with strangers i don't feel ashamed to say anything if a situation enables it, but with the ladies reguarding relationships, something is still a miss, and i'm going to work on it!
     
    AspiringHuman and TothBernat like this.
  16. Beekind

    Beekind Fapstronaut

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    A flatline could hit you at any time.
    This sucks. I hate flatlines.
    They hit me, and suddenly i have zero confidence zero energy zero drive.
    Keep going. It is just a healing sign.
     
  17. refreshed323

    refreshed323 Fapstronaut

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    If the urges are getting stronger, that means what you are doing is working. Just have to find a way accept, deal and direct them. With time and practice, the urges will natural. Use that energy and direct it towards something else, such as sports, video games, running or something.
     
    again likes this.
  18. hewm

    hewm Fapstronaut

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    dayum. I never had a flatline. I'm on my longest streak at 31 days. I'm kinda looking forward to the flatline as it's a sign of healing, but I also don't want to experience the symptoms. So I have mixed feelings about this flatline that I have yet to experience
     
    Beekind likes this.
  19. Beekind

    Beekind Fapstronaut

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    Sometimes it comes between days 70-90.
    And to some people, it never happens.
     
    again likes this.
  20. AuwL0ng

    AuwL0ng Fapstronaut

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    I could copy and paste this message of yours because of everything you said, its exactly the same with me. Everything you said.
     

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