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Close to Relapse

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by KrmGrn, Dec 1, 2014.

  1. KrmGrn

    KrmGrn Fapstronaut

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    Today was the closest to relapsing yet. Sigh. I resisted eventually but I don't feel victorious.
     
  2. leemac93

    leemac93 Fapstronaut

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    Just rub one out without porn if you can. I was at 32 days and relapsed last night to porn but its all good because I have a gf now. I'm thinking 90 days is a bit extreme because I got to 32 days pretty clean and I felt like crap. Its not natural to hold off from orgasm for that long, but it is natural to not look at porn ever again. So if your feeling like you need to release just do it man.
     
    Last edited: Dec 1, 2014
  3. Ghost.

    Ghost. Fapstronaut

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    It's different for everyone. When I PMO, immediately after I start feeling lethargy, social anxiety scales up, mood swings..I feel like an empty shell.

    25+ days in and I'm full of life and loving life. I love this feeling, wouldn't give it for the world.
     
  4. Poblano

    Poblano Fapstronaut

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    If you didn't relapse then you are victorious.
    If you are getting this close you may need some help.
    There are a lot of resources here.
    http://yourbrainonporn.com/tools-for-change

    For me currently I am just repeating to myself over and over.
    Porn is not an option and I am maintaining that mindset.
    Good luck
     
  5. KrmGrn

    KrmGrn Fapstronaut

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    Thanks, guys. Appreciate the advice!
     
  6. Karegador

    Karegador Fapstronaut

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    Relapsing always leaves me feeling like dirt. Well actually, not like dirt because at least dirt has self respect, more like the cum stained seats in porn theater. Feeling digusting, and having long since lost any hope of respect from others and respect for itself.

    So yeah, relapse doesn't feel good. It doesn't feel quite so bad when you are still in your first week of rebooting but after that it is just awful.

    Stay strong dude.
     
  7. Karegador

    Karegador Fapstronaut

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    Ok granted, reaching down and jacking it seemed to come to me pretty naturally. Actually it happened by accident, I'm not going to get into that.

    However, masturbation helped fuel the curiosity that led to porn. And I was beating it all the time when I was bored. So I think it is fair to say masturbation addiction struck prior to Porn addiction. After I started fapping I stopped having wet dreams and after that I discovered internet porn and the coffin was finally nailed shut.

    So I'm not actually sure how ok it is to masturbate at all. I'm sure for most people it is perfectly fine but I know that for me, it isn't. If you need sexual release then get a gf or bf and fuck your way to that release. Other wise, control yourself and let wet dreams do the trick.

    Believe me, right now, I want nothing more than to squeeze one out but I know that if I do, I will probably end up doing it another two or three times today and then tomorrow, and so on until I finally regain control. By that point I will feel so awful and hate myself so much I will have to fight for the will to get up and try abstaining again. I don't want that, so I resist.
     

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