Cognitive Behavioural Therapy: challenging negative thoughts and mental health problems

There's a notion that a lot of us have that our thoughts have to be true. They're our thoughts right? They're originating in us and they're trying to help us, they must be true. The first rule of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, or CBT for short, is that a lot of thoughts we have are in fact the opposite. A lot of thoughts we have are unhelpful, incredibly irrational and just simply untrue.
CBT is a type of thought challenging exercise one can do for those incredibly irrational thoughts that you know just aren't true, but instead end up believing and getting carried away by. In conjunction with antidepressants, CBT the gold standard therapy for a whole host of mental health problems from depression and anxiety to OCD, but I believe it can also be helpful to people without these conditions . So without further ado, exactly what is CBT?

It's essentially, all about looking at and analysing those irrational thoughts and eventually, with proper practice, challenging them. For instance, one thought that may crop up out of nowhere, whilst you're minding your own business, doing the dishes, is that your friend completely hates you. Just a random example, it could be anything. Normally, that thought appears, you start to believe it, and you feel really terrible inside, with clammy hands and a sinking feeling in your stomach. Why would you not, your friend actually hates you, it's terrible. The physiological reaction just reinforces the idea that the thought must be true. We start to think: "It has to be true, otherwise why else would I be feeling this bad?'

That's the true tragedy of mental health conditions. We live in a world where the worst things are happening to us. But they're not, we just think they're happening to us. Because of this, the next time we see our friend, we'll be distant and upset, and they'll be more quiet with us as a result. It ends up turning into a tragic self fulfilling prophecy.

Instead, through CBT, when irrational thoughts appear, you learn to examine them carefully. You first ask what's the evidence for that thought? What is the actual evidence. The fact that we feel it to be true doesn't count, we are looking for actual "scientific" evidence. We're using facts here: our days of simply believing bad thoughts as they crop up in our mind are over. For example, have they done anything at all bad to you? Have they ever told you they hate you? Have they stopped seeing you? No, no and no. You rack your brain but you can't find any actual evidence to support that thought you've had.

Now look at the evidence against that thought. Well:
1) They told you yesterday they really like you. I remember them saying that. Well, thats the complete opposite of what that thought was.
2) They do all these nice things for you, like making you breakfast last week. Would they do that if they hate you?
3) You haven't done anything to make them hate you.
4)They don't hate anyone, not even their controlling boss or their nagging mum. Why would they hate their friend?

Now, you write up both the evidence for and the evidence against in two different columns and look at them side by side. Weigh them against each other. (Once you get better at this you can do it in your head but initially, it does help to write it down) And yep, there's a clear winner. 3-0 to evidence against. . It's Kobe Bryant against some kid in the park. A complete whitewash.

It just makes you realise how irrational that thought is and once you do, that thought begins to dissolve and disappear. After a while, with regular practice, you get so good at it that the tension it brings disappears too. And it's that simple.
For more information, there is a lot of helpful workbooks online and a lot of published books too. It is recommended that one has a few sessions with a CBT therapist who can properly teach you how to do it and then you can do it by yourself. If you speak to your GP or family doctor( I don't know what they're called in America, forgive me) they should be able to give you more info about it. If you have any more questions feel free to drop me a message.