Cold approach experience

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by HandsOffDong, Mar 2, 2017.

  1. RogueNinja202

    RogueNinja202 Fapstronaut

    Oh man I did not expect to read that lol... dude did a full 180. I guess the more mainstream Nofap becomes, the more you'll get people like this.

    Listen man, you should really treat the ability to approach women with respect and be way more humble about it. Even though guys have to make the first move (generally) we still have it better I think. You can choose to approach any woman, they don't have the luxury of choosing who approaches them. Plus they are more vulnerable in that scenario. Don't abuse the power you have man.
    iWILL123, SnowWhite and Tesslynne like this.
  2. This is pretty interesting. I didn't want to respond anymore but some of you lot are pretty clueless and give bad advice lmao, good lord.... As if I am going to rape someone in the middle of a busy mall? Anyway... it's highly, and I mean highly disrespectful to first give a green light like ok we can walk a little bit, get the chance to know each other (I couldn't ask for her number then and there, and what's the point in that. And she seemed busy to go somewhere) OK, like even if that is weird, I never said it wasn't weird. You just don't hint someone in the middle of everything, shaking and stuttering, like ok it was fun while it lasted let's move our ways. Trying to send me off like I am a bad kid and need to be expelled from class. I wasn't having it, we entered this damn shit mall together, and we leave together. Like mind you, I was not intimidating, threatening, nervous, weird, anything. I am not a little bitch like other guys that sweet talk their way into a womens pants, no, I am live and direct. If you can't handle it, it's on you. I make eye contact, I have a strong personality, and I just don't give a f&ck. I forgot to mention, I agreed to leaving, but only ONCE OUTSIDE, I played it off cool, even helped her pack her things and asked if she needed some help carrying.

    ALSO, outside she made an excuse of walking all the other way into the city, with a FULL BAG, I was looking at her like damn you are pretty nuts. She didn't want to go to no damn city lmao, just wait til I was gone so she could go home.

    More, and more western women have mental disorders but in the spirit of white knight males, and females who vouch for each other it's like a government secret or something. For the guys out there... I would highly ADVISE AGAINST COLD APPROACH. I have been fooled by bro-science tales myself. Now the other day, I went to the dentist and I saw her walking again. In our first meeting she said something about practicing for long distance walks in summer for holidays or something and had these walking shoes. Kudos. I didn't even look her way. That is besides the point. With NoFap, I need to come to a certain point where I am cured from sexual addiction. Or hypersexuality. Most of the times, I don't even like women. I feel they are below my standard. And you as a male aren't supposed to, 99% of women you meet are not yours, and in the spirit of ''true love'' or whatever there is a few you actually can get along. But with porn/sex addiction you just need that fix. Some guys are either sex addicts, or virgins, and they just struggle.

    If you spend long enough time with certain women they will fall in love with you anyway. College/work/social stuff whatever. Especially if you are focussed on whatever that is you are doing and come off as neutral. "Warm approaches" or whatever they are called, go for it. That is part of not objectifying right? Great. Some guys and girls are addicts, and spend their entire life with their addiction and other addicts. I don't give a f&ck how much they get laid, hell they could get laid on the moon and it don't matter. I need to be able to look in the mirror and go like: Now there is a champion, being true with yourself is the best thing ever. Everything I already got, just this addiction has to be crossed off and I am good.
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 30, 2017
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  3. Tesslynne

    Tesslynne Guest

    Now I know what website you hang out on, I think I understand why you see certain things the way you do!

    Reading lots of things on websites like that have let's just say PARTS of it that are so misogynist and are part of the reason I have almost zero self-confidence when it comes to men!

    But perhaps I am mis-interpreting you.
  4. Tesslynne

    Tesslynne Guest

    God I WISH I had your self confidence with the opposite sex in a way though, instead of believing- partially cos of websites like that - that men think women who look like me etc. are shit. Some websites like that seem to have the attitude that all women are rubbish and cold, horrible bitches so let's fuck as many of them as we can, none of them have value and it's just a numbers game. Some of them, not necessarily this one, even DO condone rape! There is a lot of things out there today for men AND women, teaching us that the opposite sex is out to get us, looks down on us is like some rare almost unachievable butterfly and even if we GET them, they will only hurt us anyway!

    Yes, there are a ton of toxic websites for women about men too, believe me!

    With titles like "why men run away" and I even got an email recently saying something like "If you do this, he WILL cheat."

    It's like FFS, stop making men and women sound like enemies of each other JUST to sell your freaking products and services, people!

    It's almost like they are trying to divide us at times. Society, I mean. And the media. By gender, by race, by religion, by socio-economics, by ANY means and any lines they can cos they know divided we fall and united we stand so they don't want us to be united and to trust each other.
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 30, 2017
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  5. Aww TessLynne.. I am sure you are one fine milf... :) You seem flirty and fun..surely you shouldn't have any problems? Try tinder, internet dating and real life flirting. Skip karaoke bars where you are rubbed on your back..that is just sad lol.
    Tesslynne likes this.
  6. Tesslynne

    Tesslynne Guest

    That's actually a much cooler lovely & more helpful reply from you than I anticipated thank you!! :) I DO get guys interested but sometimes as in begging me for sex sighhhh
    Sometimes LITERALLY begging lol
    But apparently that means they think I am not good enough for more?????

    Or maybe it doesn't??

    Loving your reply pleasantly surprised
  7. Mitch22

    Mitch22 Fapstronaut

    I think Tweeby wrote a nice posts. For me when you write 'i want asexual feelings' it sounds like you want to cut off feelings. Feelings of rejection and also sexual feelings. But there are beautiful friendly girls and your feelings can be there. Embrace them and feel everything. When you went up to her the first time that was a brave thing. Give yourself a shoulder pad for that. That's quiet far from most peoples comfortzone. I also read that its your third time. Maybe you can go more often outside your comfortzone and get more experience with girls, there behaviour and also getting rejected. In a way it mostly your ego that gets hurt. Good luck man!
    iWILL123 likes this.
  8. Lol, come on. I am not that bad. Well them begging you for sex just means you are hot. And they could be very desperate lol. Just skip the very desperate ones and get out there and find a flirty guy that seems into you but not that desperate. I personally would hit on you for sure.

    What's so bad about asexual feelings? That just leaves room for platonic love...
    Tesslynne likes this.
  9. Buzz Lightyear

    Buzz Lightyear Fapstronaut

    Cold approach should just be a phase....a discipline... for guys with anxiety toward women. There is nothing like a regime of cold approach to rid yourself of this anxiety. Of course, it is forced and unnatural, and once it has served its purpose, you dial it right back and approach/ flirt in warm situations simply when you feel like it. For you now know you have the ability to step up to the plate when need be.

    a phase... a discipline.... just like nofap really^^
    Truth-Seeker and iWILL123 like this.
  10. SnowWhite

    SnowWhite Fapstronaut

    I get the goosebumps when I read the conversation between you two ...

    @HandsOffDong .. You appear all the time rude, offensive, with a lack of empathy and respect. You appear to be on a power trip, and women are just playdolls for you. And when you appear to be "sensitive", then it seems manipulative to me. Women get scared by you.

    @Tesslynne ... I think you are "too" nice, and too scared about following your own goals. But I think you can really safely "stand up" and just get more firm about your wishes and goals. BTW, someone who calls you "milf" is not really nice, IMHO ;)
    iWILL123 likes this.
  11. Lol. You don't even know me.

    Hell yeah Tess sounds mighty fine. Even like her name. Come through Tess, I would gladly talk with ya :)
  12. SnowWhite

    SnowWhite Fapstronaut

    I know you from what you write here.
  13. Exactly... nothing :) Are you a grumpy kitty? kitty, kitty. Pss, pss, don't be mad. You're a guy and your name here is SnowWhite? Interesting.

    What type of lingerie does Tess wear you think? I bet something really classy and revealing :) Any thongs maybe?
  14. iWILL123

    iWILL123 Fapstronaut

    come on bro, this aint no dating site!
    overclocked and SnowWhite like this.
  15. Me telling you I would tap that ass =/= dating someone idiot.

    "This aint no dating site" is what boring turds say that want to act witty.

    As if I am going to ever meet someone over the internet. Not happening.

    Now take your proxy account and stick it where the sun dont shine!
  16. messanger

    messanger Fapstronaut

    Hey OP , in essence you are a great guy amongst great men , that is why you are here to share this experience and I appreciate showing a part of yourself to us.

    The inner world dedicates the outer world and we only have so much within control , many times we do not have control over 1)others 2)outcome. With being said , it is always good to stay within the space of discomfort and unknowing/uncertainty. For all you know , her parents or pet dog might have died that very morning , there is a balanced adult way ( in a nebulous context ) to deal with the outcome in your situation , perhaps there is an innate fear of rejection? so there was a need to call her a whore/bitch as a gag reflex against not knowing why she behaved in this way to protect your vulnerable ego ( as we all ). Maybe this might resonate the full born pain experienced as a child where you had no power or mature ability to rationalize or understand the outcome is still carried with you.

    The good news is , it never is too late to grow out of that passive aggressive pattern and I highly encourage anyone who reads this post to work on emotional maturity , its one of the best things we can do to our future partner and ourselves.
    Tesslynne and RogueNinja202 like this.
  17. overclocked

    overclocked Fapstronaut

    I don't think anyone did anything wrong.
    This is sh*tty chemistry. Both of you couldn't enjoy your time and flirt, so you are not meant to be together.

    About her being close to a nervous breakdown: maybe she has severe social anxiety. Malls can be scary for people with that condition.
    I would friendzone her. The chemistry is so awful and your story sounds so awkward, I would move on and forget this person, but don't cut her off, she might become resentful and kill you.
    Tesslynne likes this.
  18. Tesslynne

    Tesslynne Guest

    Yeah I KNOW it's hard for some guys to believe it but women can get social anxiety too. Not all of us are confident. Plus, as others have pointed out, it may have been nothing to do with you. Having SAID that, also if someone has a lot of negative thoughts about the opposite sex, that can kinda "leak out" & people can pick up on that too. COULD be two people who don't trust the opposite sex hanging out & those bad vibes were apparent to each other, don't hate me lol. It may not have been that & I know it's not my place to say it. It may have simply been miscommunication, misunderstanding instead & nothing more than that.
  19. Tesslynne

    Tesslynne Guest

    Lol! I doubt she'd kill you ha ha.
  20. Night_of_Gales

    Night_of_Gales Fapstronaut


    Lol this guy's a legend man too funny, cusing the fuck outta the girl he just cold approached XD

    ANyway all jokes aside I admire your bravery to actually turn around and go talk to her again I don't have the balls to do that yet I feel like if the girl sees I saw her I have to act then or I'm fucked.

    Another thing I feel you maybe intruded on her too much and she was possiby scared of you lol.. Due to what you said she was doing. So pros for the balls but yeah, think you came on pretty strong... I dont know fuck it better you approached her than not at all, good on you man

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