Cold Approaches (DIscussion)

[tiagomoncada]

This is a common mindset among "nice guys". You should read "No more mr nice guy". And the numbers will rarely be as bad as 99 out of 100 rejecting you. Most women are relatively polite and will engage in some small talk. Thats not a rejection. Many times in my experience, I sort of reject myself. The girl is interested but I have no clue how to push the interaction forward so I eject early. But this thing really is a skill. If you do 1000 approaches, you will be better with women. And if a woman actually likes you, she will try her best to help you succeed. She knows it takes balls to approach. Thats how this thing works. If you can take charge in a social setting, you can also take charge in the bedroom. Women want to be lead.

i wouldnt say this is a common mindset amongst nice guys. its a common mindset amongst guys. if youre getting rejected, and think that females are still intersted in you then there might be something wrong with you. also, yea there are the thug types who are not nice guys and are just bad guys in general, but those guys are usually dating bad females who are usually not in high demand anyway. if youre after the low value females then you can be pushy, vulgar, or do whatever you want. if a females likes you, you wont need to say much. you dont need skill. all you really have to do is say hi how are you, and probably just ask for a number in a minute. problem is, most guys who do cold approach dont try to read females and just approach no matter what. l dont think a female will necesarily be attracted to you because you have balls, otherwise there'd be no pua left right? cause a pua does a bunch of approaches, females be like "wow, hes so brave", the pua finds a girlfriend, and thats the end. as a matter of fact, the only guys who seem to find pua brave are other nerdy/dorky guys. lve yet to see any females comend guys for that. in fact, it;s the opposite, especially older men. l talk to alot of young females, and it seems the number one complaint for them is older men approaching them. if that balls theory was true then the females would all just be flattered that men are approaching them, and admire them for their "courage", but instead it seems theyre disgusted by them. so the reason why theyre disgusted by the approach is because theyre not attracted to them. so even if it was a younger guy who they werent attrracted to, it will still invoke a similar emotion.

as a matter of fact, pua are aware of this, and this is precisely why pua's are very clandestine in their operations. most pua's will cold approach outside their neighborhood, where no one knows them. they won't do the same spot repeatedly in order to avoid being noticed. now if cold approach is virtuous, or something to be comended, then why would pua have to be sneaky about cold approach? it;s precisely that cold approach is frowned upon in society (by the female and the community at large), and pick up artists are seen as pariah. this is why pick up artists have to be extremely cautious due to the unpopular nature of cold approach. i'm not saying i'm against it. l could honestly care less who does it. and if you get a date, good for you, but certainly l wouldnt consider cold approaching to be brave. to me, it's all about return on your investment. if you have to do 1000 approaches in order to get one date, that simply isnt practical, or effective, especially, as i said, when i have females waving at me, coming out of her dorm just to greet me, or even cashiers making small talk with me. notice i said cashiers making small talk with me, not me trying to unload some pick up scriipt on her.

the reason why you always see pua out there day in and day out is cause theyre not finding takers. i always see this hindu pua at our local mall, and this dude is following all the pua rules. dress nice, smile, good posture, uses recited lines, but i always see this guy there which most likely indicates he isnt getting dates, cause lets face it,what sane man would want to deal with rejection if he didnt have to. alot of pua call cold approach skills but if they were skilled, why do i never see females around them. if i were skilled, certainly my female coworkers, classmates, neigbhors would all want to be around me right? certainly i'd be invited to many parties. so why is it that pua almost have no females around them. and if you look at the pua's lifestyles, theyre almost never invited to any parties, which is why they have to do cold approaches in the 1st place

 

[tiagomoncada]

This method will probably work some of the time but it is pretty invasive. You build zero trust with the girl and she has no reason to answer when you call. Unless of course she was already interested. But thats the trick. Women give out all sorts of signals if they are interested. If you suspect someone is interested, this may work. But they are probably going to think you are a coward for not asking her out then and there. Arrange a coffee date. Maybe even take her there right now unless she is busy, in which case you grab her number and arrange the date when she is free.

and you think you can build trust in 5-10 minutes? trust is built over a period of months, which is the opposite of a cold approach. and here's where the cold approach fails. pick up artists generally try to pack months worth of conversation into 5-10 minutes which simply doesnt work. thats like eating a weeks worth of food in 1 meal. it just doesnt work. i remember when i was in school. i came back from lunch, and an hour goes by. i ask my teacher, can i use the restroom. she says, "why didnt you go during lunch"? which is a stupid question because you drink water at lunch, and it takes time for your body to proces the water before you have to urinate. so you cant urinate now and say youre not going to urinate

asking for a number is invasive, if she isnt into you, but it doesnt sound like you, or any other pua cares about rejection. cold approach is ALSO invasive. in fact, talking to a female who doesnt like you for 15 minutes is even more invasive. the point is, it saves your time. what the female is saying is if shes into you, shes into you, and that you shouldnt bother trying to change her mind. females know whether they like you in a very short amount of time. it's not the only school of thought, but it's a school of thought nonetheless. this is the opposite of what most pua believe. minds can be changed but not in 15 minutes. have i changed females minds before? sure i have, but we're talking years of knowing each other, not stopping some random female in a parking lot and trying to seduce her.

she might think youre a coward for not asking her out, but she might equally think youre desprate for asking her out right then and there, and that would be my first asumption. just like if a salesman asks you to buy a product right then and there, it honestly makes me think theres something wrong with the product thats being sold to me. asking for instadate to me shows insecurity, like youre afraid that she wont date you later on (which you probably are), and its that fear that exposes your weakness. not exactly a good impresion to make. but nonetheless it;s your impresion to make. not my business. however, if a man keeps doing the same thing and getting the same consequences, yet still keeps doing it. thats insanity.

a high value man should and would display that he's fine whether or not he dates you or not. if you display an attitude of yea, we;ll do something, but if not, it's no big deal then that actually makes you look way more high value. thats why alot of people, whether it be doctors, contractors, or barbers, will make themselves out to be unavailable, because it ends up making them look more desirable, and in high demand. certainly, if you call a doctor and say, i need an apointment, and he says, come right now, lets make an apointment for right now. you're probably thinking, whys this doctor so eager to see me? if you, as a man, are so readily available for a date at any time, then honestly that just makes you look like something on the clearance rack. its just a red flag, just like when a business asks for money up front because theyre afraid you wont buy the product after careful consideration.

females are smart, and they can see through this. this is precisely why 20% of the guys are dating 80% of the females, because females are way more selective. theyd rather be a side chic to a perceived alfa male than be the main guy for a beta male, the beta male who has all the time in the world who is on standby waiting for instadates. the way i see it is, dating is something that requires long term comitment, so forcing someone on an instadate isnt necesarily going to make her like you any more than if you asked her out 2 days later. in fact, i prefer a female to go through careful consideration before dating me, because then it shows true attraction, because if she isnt truly attracted to you, then however many dates you try to talk her into, the attraction will fade quickly (assuming it was ever there to begin with), and at that point, you're just wasting everyones time. now you already said youre a middle age man, so how much time do you honestly have to be playing around with females who arent fully attracted to you?

 

[tiagomoncada]

Your assumption that a weirdo is always a weirdo cant possibly be true. Dont you think you could improve your social skills by reading a book about body language? Maybe pick up "how to win friends and influence people"?. Anyone can learn to communicate better. But you have to take action. Just being book smart wont cut it.

in the university context, a wierdo will be shunned, whether he is a student, or not, but a wierdo doesnt necesarily have to be permanently a wierdo. of course he can improve his social skills, and read books about body language. l also think youre placing too much emphasis on social skills. if you observe guys who have large social circles, or guys who are popular, they are not necesarily always very talkative, or wordy, and they dont really try that hard to win over a crowd. they most certainly arent thinking about "openers", or sitting in their bed the night before thinking about how theyre going to approach anyone. nor are they thinking about who's arm they touched the day before. problem with guys who are trying to improve their social skills is that they end up sounding like try hards, or have a very inorganic vibe to them. and alot of guys who try to work on their social skills usually have underlying problems such as autism, depresion, trauma, anxiety etc. and simply trying to cover mental illness with a skillset is not going pass yourself off as a mentally healthy person who is likable. you can change the wheels, stereo, steering wheel, seats, paint, engine of a kia, but at the end of the day, it's still not a lamborgini.

 

[NF SINCE BIRTH]

in the university context, a wierdo will be shunned, whether he is a student, or not, but a wierdo doesnt necesarily have to be permanently a wierdo. of course he can improve his social skills, and read books about body language. l also think youre placing too much emphasis on social skills. if you observe guys who have large social circles, or guys who are popular, they are not necesarily always very talkative, or wordy, and they dont really try that hard to win over a crowd. problem with guys who are trying to improve their social skills is that they end up sounding like try hards, or have a very inorganic vibe to them. and alot of guys who try to work on their social skills usually have underlying problems such as autism, depresion, trauma, anxiety etc. and simply trying to cover mental illness with a skillset is not going pass yourself off as a mentally healthy person who is likable

You have so many limiting beliefs that I dont know where to start. Nothing of what you say rings true with me. Its a lot of black pill ideas in here. You also seem to carry a bit of resentment towards women. I usually have nothing against having discussions but we arent on the same page at all. Different books entirely.

 

[tiagomoncada]

I wont count any of the interactions today but I havent been completely inactive. I sat in the middle of class instead of picking a corner to hide in. The cute girl I was hoping to see didnt show up and she seems to be avoiding me already. A group of girls sat in front of me and discussed a bunch of problems for most of class. I followed my plan which was to show indirect value and ping the group a few times. That was a success. The teacher had his hands full so I just dropped some knowledge on them from time to time when they were stuck. I didnt intend to do that more than a couple times but they warmed up to me and more or less accepted me as part of the group. It also turned out one of the girls knew who I was and what classes I was taking. 2 of them told me goodbye at the end of class. I also befriended a dude. He strikes me as one of the cool guys and keeps pretty solid eye contact with everyone while talking.

dam bro. you go to school and need to cold approach? when l was going to school, all l needed to do was ask for directions, and females would voluntarily give me their social media. l remember going up to one female asking her for directions, and she ended up asking me questions about myself, and she had introduced herself to me without me even asking. l had females straight up asking me for masages in dorms. instead of me choosing where to sit, i had females choosing to sit next to me. and some fine females too. fit, like models. and honestly all l had to do was tell stories about my life. l didnt even have to try. lol. just yesterday l was sitting in the car. i look up and see this cute girl standing at the window. im like who the f is this standing in front of the car. she smiled, waved to me, and rode away in her scooter. going even further back, l remember going to school, and just walking on campus past the female dorms. this chic l knew. only talked to her a couple of times. made some small talk with her weeks back. she came out the dorm, said she saw me from her window, and just wanted to come out and say hi. and as u can see, im not even cute, and im still getting this attention from females, and l dont even have to try. we definitely on difrent pages. imagine what your life will look like after you graduate bro. its going to be a lonley road ahead if u aint getting anywhere with these school girls. l mean l would never cold approach, because as lve stated before, it signals desperation, but straight up. i can see how you would have to do cold approach if you worked at a job where it was mostly men, but you going to school with females and still need to cold approach?

 

[tiagomoncada]

I have been thinking about counting all interactions, with men included. I wont though but I am often finding myself testing some openers on men before trying them out on women. It is easier, less nerve wrecking and also makes you seem less try-hard, especially in the club. And other men can be great allies down the road too. They understand your problems and if you want to learn how to pick up women you have to ask a dude that has good game to show you the way.

why you worried about openers? this aint amateur night at the apolo

 

[NF SINCE BIRTH]

dam bro. you go to school and need to cold approach? when l was going to school, all l needed to do was ask for directions, and females would voluntarily give me their social media. l remember going up to one female asking her for directions, and she ended up asking me questions about myself, and she had introduced herself to me without me even asking. l had females straight up asking me for masages in dorms. instead of me choosing where to sit, i had females choosing to sit next to me. and some fine females too. fit, like models. and honestly all l had to do was tell stories about my life. l didnt even have to try. lol. just yesterday l was sitting in the car. i look up and see this cute girl standing at the window. im like who the f is this standing in front of the car. she smiled, waved to me, and rode away in her scooter. going even further back, l remember going to school, and just walking on campus past the female dorms. this chic l knew. only talked to her a couple of times. made some small talk with her weeks back. she came out the dorm, said she saw me from her window, and just wanted to come out and say hi. and as u can see, im not even cute, and im still getting this attention from females, and l dont even have to try. we definitely on difrent pages. imagine what your life will look like after you graduate bro. its going to be a lonley road ahead if u aint getting anywhere with these school girls. l mean l would never cold approach, because as lve stated before, it signals desperation, but straight up. i can see how you would have to do cold approach if you worked at a job where it was mostly men, but you going to school with females and still need to cold approach?

Honestly, whats ur problem? Are you only here to shit on our thread? What makes you an authority on cold approaching? Everything you say is dead wrong. You have no clue what you are talking about.

 

[tiagomoncada]

what makes you think l have a problem. lm just here to state my opinions, as are you. lm not an authority on cold approach. just stating my observations thats all. if you have any idea what youre talking about then why do u try so hard and struggle just to interact with people? it almost even sounds like you were kept in captivity somewhere and then recently released amongst humans. you want to show these girls that you have more experience, yet it sounds like your eq is at age 2. all the stuff you talk about sounds like its coming straight out of a pua guide book. how bout formulating your own ideas for once. hows any male or female going to take you seriously if all you can do is do what pua books tell you? and this is precisely why most pua fail. they apply this one size fits all formula for everyone, and dont have the eq to figure out that doesnt work

 

[tiagomoncada]

You have so many limiting beliefs that I dont know where to start. Nothing of what you say rings true with me. Its a lot of black pill ideas in here. You also seem to carry a bit of resentment towards women. I usually have nothing against having discussions but we arent on the same page at all. Different books entirely.

if i dont walk into nvidia's offices and ask for a job, does that mean i have self limiting beliefs? decent jobs are simply not acquired that way, and decent dates are not acquired through cold approach

 

[NF SINCE BIRTH]

if i dont walk into nvidia's offices and ask for a job, does that mean i have self limiting beliefs? decent jobs are simply not acquired that way, and decent dates are not acquired through cold approach

You realize this entire thread is about cold approaching right? You can shove your opinions up your ass. Stop nuking our thread. Make your own thread if you want to vent about how cold approaching sucks. I would have discussed with you if you came from a place of wanting to have a serious discussion but you are only embarrassing yourself at this point.