Collecting Porn

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Dad, Sep 22, 2014.

  1. Dad

    Dad Fapstronaut

    285
    47
    28
    Does any one else here collect and catalog porn images? I'm trying to understand my problem with this.
     
  2. Jofy

    Jofy Fapstronaut

    40
    0
    6
    I did in the past. built up a stash put it in order and stuff I had so much stuff that i could never watch all of it. and got carried away downloading more. I've built up and deleted three collection in past years. I started out on NoFap last month but still had the stash so got to 11 days got stressed and looked at it end of the nofap. But come the 1st September the collection when in the trash. honestly was kind of annoying thinking of all the time I'd committed to building it, putting it all in order and stuff. On one level i had the argument what if this NoFap thing doesn't work out aren't you going to want to keep the stash. But the choice had to be made keep the rubbish or commit to the journey fully. So the collection when and wish i could say I haven't looked back. well I haven't looked at porn in the last three week but my minds drifted off at times but I dont want to waste any more time building and maintaining a collection. I hope I've seen the end of it. Not quit sure that I've answered your question hope it helps regardless.
    Joe
     
  3. MartinSiilak

    MartinSiilak Fapstronaut

    90
    12
    8
    I did that for quite some time, kept downloading and downloading, it's the Coolidge effect on steroids. You collect it, but don't watch it anyway. Recently, when cleaning my drawer, I found some burned porn DVDs, my first reaction was to throw them away instantly.

    It's a weird habit, when it forms, I had so many images, didn't look at single one.
     
    Last edited: Sep 22, 2014
  4. Dad

    Dad Fapstronaut

    285
    47
    28
    I think what I was doing was creating a virtual Harem. Thousands of images. My theory is that I wanted to make something "useful" out of wasted time on porn. Like you I rarely used these collections unless for some reason I couldn't get online.

    Do you collect any thing else? I collect stuff everywhere I go. Rocks on the beach, etc..
     
  5. Man On Fire

    Man On Fire Fapstronaut

    18
    2
    3
    I was addicted to the cataloguing of pornography way before the internet - after spending a small fortune on increasingly specialised porn mags I would then set about separating the wheat from the chaff. Those pages that made the grade would be inserted into A4 plastic sleeves and placed in the relevant section of a ring binder.

    One of my flat mates found one of these ring binders once. I remember being offended most by the assumption that the porn was inserted into plastic sleeves so that I could ejaculate onto them whereas that was never the case.

    At some point I acquired a large sticker marked 'Don't Be A Dick' which I stuck to the front of the ring binder - it was a half-arsed attempt at insulting myself into quitting. It didn't work. I still have this ring binder but it hasn't contained pornography in many a year.

    For a brief time internet porn seemed to liberate me from this particular addiction. Not for long though.
     
  6. MartinSiilak

    MartinSiilak Fapstronaut

    90
    12
    8
    I actually had the same idea at the time, let's make something useful out of that collection, but nothing came of it. During summer, I usually collected rocks on the beach, also package's for design inspiration. I had about 40 GB of images, in summary it was a total waste of space.
     
  7. Dad

    Dad Fapstronaut

    285
    47
    28
    It became easy for me to justify going to porn sites. "I have to add to my collection", would be a subconscious thought. Categorizing, I remember telling myself at the time, "you can learn how to use the computer better", so "you're not wasting time". What a bunch of BS. Having my collection discovered is what lead to all of this (NoFap arrival). So maybe I should be glad about the way it all came to pass I am so highly motivated now to completely stay away from porn.
    All those years that I treasured and protected that collection, then destroying completely in one afternoon. It was fairly cathartic and felt like I had closure.
     
  8. MartinSiilak

    MartinSiilak Fapstronaut

    90
    12
    8
    Burning physical porn collection or deleting can be pretty liberating. When i built a new fireplace, first thing got burned was my porn collection. I've even had situations, where i delete my collection, but later restore, wasting hours from my day again.
     
  9. Rattlehead13

    Rattlehead13 New Fapstronaut

    3
    0
    1
    I've been there. I delete it and feel great. The next day I log on, get annoyed I don't have anything and then spend hrs putting it all back. I then finish, realise what a waste of time it was and then delete it all again. Stupid really.
     
  10. GasOilVetMom

    GasOilVetMom Fapstronaut

    38
    0
    6
    I have had some issues collecting things in the past. My dad is a borderline hoarder. He is always buying antiques and old junky things and filling the basement with them. He told me that he read that it has to do with trying to fill a void of happiness. It's like you are trying to collect things that you will have to make you happy but since you can never realistically fulfill that goal, you just keep collecting indefinitely.

    I also collected a lot of porn. I collected a lot of images but I mostly downloaded a lot of videos. I torrented high definition videos of many different subscription websites and I also used a browser add-on to download many amateur videos off of youtube like porn sites. The most I ever had was something like 1.2 terabytes of porn. The videos took up a lot of memory. It's sort of funny because my first stash was on a 1.44mb floppy disk in the 1990's. 1mb to 1tb is a big jump. :p
     
  11. Dad

    Dad Fapstronaut

    285
    47
    28
    I'm recognizing my propensity for hoarding. I've been living abroad for the last year, and when I think of all my stuff back home, and how I don't really need any of it, it makes me want to sell it all and just exist, living a spartan life.
    Who needs all this crap anyway?
     
  12. chunique

    chunique Fapstronaut

    22
    0
    1
    I don't collect them in my hard disk, I always delete them after I have watched them because I feel shamed.
     
  13. loco369

    loco369 New Fapstronaut

    4
    0
    1
    I did collect the pictures. But since I found NoFap, I have thrown them away. All of it, and it was a lot of them. I try to stop collect the pictures because my girlfriend found them and she gave me chance to change myself.I have been collect them for 3 years, it is a bit hard for me to throw it away, but yeah I did it.
     
    Last edited: Nov 1, 2014
  14. NotAfraid

    NotAfraid Fapstronaut

    312
    22
    18
    I used to download and collect a lots of porn. Mostly pictures, but there was a bunch of HD-videos too.

    I think the anticipation is the real shit, that gets your dopamine running. When I was waiting for the downloads to finish, I was like a child on christmas. Watching that stuff was only half of that feeling, but I also had this thought that "now that I've downloaded it, I have to watch it". I think it comes from the very same survivalist principal we have deep in our animal brain; "get it while the getting is good".

    That thought could be also the same driving you other collectors. You know, that you have a chance to download/collect it, so you try to get as much of it as you can, because you might "need" it someday. Just a (crude) theory.

    Deleting my collection was no big deal for me. I thought that I would miss it, but when I clicked "delete", I just felt delighted and liberated. Too bad, I also had this weird way of hiding that porn all over other folders, so I had to stumble across some porn, that I had already forgotten, to make sure it was all gone. For example, when I was finding an ebook on my hard drive, I saw this folder with a name like "w5yrete566yr" or something very similar nonsense and I was like "that looks familiar". Then I open it and get triggered because it was full of porn, which I didn't remember that existed. I got that habit from my dad, whose computer had hidden porn all over it with similar names.

    That's also the reason why "New Folder" and "New Folder(2)" kind of names are triggering for me. To me it used to mean, that it's a porn folder.
     
    Last edited: Nov 1, 2014
  15. Dad

    Dad Fapstronaut

    285
    47
    28
    Hey NotAfraid

    It's good to hear from someone thats thought about this in the same way.
    I don't know why I didn't realize what a huge risk that I was at having so much porn on my laptop. I had probably 15,000 images on one and probably twice as many stored on usb drives. That doesn't even include my dvd's and videotapes.
    When my collection got discovered, (I wonder if I unconsciously wanted to get found out), I destroyed it all in a state of complete renewal.
    It was so symbolic to be smashing all of this shit.
    I will never return to porn after that. That helped me so much.

    Now I share a computer, and I do most of my online stuff with a phone.
    I don't know why more people aren't saying that they think they should just get away from computers for awhile.
     
  16. JasonC

    JasonC Fapstronaut

    157
    1
    18
    I used to collect P, but never could keep it very long because I was always too afraid someone would find it. It's a condition known as DDD (Download, Debug the Hard Drive (so to speak), Delete).

    Then I stopped downloading altogether and instead I'd email links to a secret email address I set up. That progressed to using online bookmarking sites. Most recently I would frequent sites that let you log in and favorite stuff. I am an expert at keeping my PMO addiction hidden. I am not proud of that. I've confessed to a couple real people, but now I'm taking this secret to the grave. Hopefully I live long enough that I can die knowing I've lived more than half my life free from this hell.
     
  17. RobertDark

    RobertDark New Fapstronaut

    4
    0
    1
    I'm completely guilty of what I've always called "digital hoarding". It probably started with music, but porn was right along the same timeline. Not only did I feel I constantly had to check my download spots (when I was younger it was Usenet, that changed into P2P sharing services, then to torrents) I felt my collection had to be sorted in a fashion my brain deemed to be correct. I had folders and organization that was probably bordering on obsessive.

    While others here have felt liberated by hitting that delete button, I haven't been able to get that same feeling. Well, I guess I get that feeling initially, but then a month, week or even a few days later, I am going back to all my same sites and starting that collection again because that's what brings me comfort.

    Like others here, I don't even "use" the stuff I download on a regular basis. I just became obsessed with having every video that satisfied every part of my sexual brain so that I had it just in case I needed it. I couldn't even watch everything if I tried, I just needed to make sure it was there.

    So I feel your pain on this one, one of the reasons I've finally joined here is because my delete and restarting of the collection has gotten really bad the past 3 or 4 months with my brain flip flopping on what I want to do every few days. It's getting tiring.
     
  18. pmNO!!

    pmNO!! Fapstronaut

    13
    1
    3
    I'm a musical instrument ***** I have 18 steel string guitars ( 3 of them 12 string) 6 nylon string guitars, 4 round neck dobros, 2 square neck dobros, 5 resonator banjos, 3 open back banjos, 2 bass guitars, 4 mandolins, 2 violins, 3 lap steels (one of them a double neck 8 string), and 25 harmonicas. Fortuneatly for me I Can play them all adeptly, But I still buy more. They all sound different and guitars for me are like cheezits you can't have just one!!
     

Share This Page