combating EXTREME boredom & isolation

Deleted Account · Sep 25, 2016

pardon me if this is sounds bitchy but I donnu what else to turn to

sooo I joined early last may and things were pretty rad. I was slowly weaning off this illness and was beginning to wake up -- and man things were awesome. going out, meeting new people, basically being fearless in every dynamic this addiction had suppressed. it was easy for me as a) I have a ton of hobbies and b) I'm social and always out and about anyway. it was all going like clockwork, UNTIL I graduated from flight school and took a job as a flight instructor out in the middle of nowheresville arizona, 20 miles from the nearest city. I'm talking no phone service, shoddy internet, coyotes and tarantulas casually walking around. I get put up in a pretty nice house for free - one roommate who is a workaholic and never home. then the parents say that my little brother has to learn how to drive so they need the car back. okay, so here I am stranded in the desert with no way of getting around.

so for the past three months, every day has been one-thirds work, two-thirds being stuck at home, which is not ideal for a social person like me. at first I took the isolation as an opportunity to focus on self improvement -- started working out, running, meditating, reading lots of books, quit cigarettes and television, played guitar more, but predictably I have begun to struggle with nofap. and looking back at the reboot journal I've been writing, almost every relapse has occurred on the weekend, when I was by myself all day, stuck at this damn house. I love my job but this is getting redundant and I think I'm starting to get cabin fever lol.

flight instructors have a very intimate relationship with their students, and every time I find myself getting sucked in again, I just feel disinterested and fuzzy, and I'm not able have the positive interactions I need to have with them.

so has anyone else found themselves struggling with boredom? what helped distract you if leaving the house wasn't an option?

I was planning on saving up for a car by next summer, but at his point I am seriously considering financing so I can just get out of this damn house. it's a stupid idea as I already have student loans to pay back, but I might just go for it

blowfish111 · Sep 25, 2016

Dont you have friends to play games with?
Online multiplayer game sessions while communicating via skype.Strategic games where you have to act together to succeed for example?

feo1966 · Sep 25, 2016

Get a used car. Don't buy new. How about motorbike, dual sport Enduro would be fun in the desert, and will let you get around

TheFutureMe · Sep 25, 2016

Nothing surprising in the way you miss social events and being able to see/meet people. Been in that very same situation back in Australia, and that was one of my worst P phase. I don't think it's boredom that kills your NoFap efforts, I think it's the lack of connection/interaction. Get a used car, shouldn't be too expensive, it'd just be a tool for socializing and a means of freedom. Later on if you see that this works out for you but you're ashamed of that piece of garbage, sell it and invest - it would still serve your interests more than trying to cope with extreme isolation and loose your mind/job/time/sanity over a couple thousand bucks you didn't spend?

Say Hi to the tarentulas for me.

Deleted Account · Sep 25, 2016

blowfish111 said: ↑

Dont you have friends to play games with?
Online multiplayer game sessions while communicating via skype.Strategic games where you have to act together to succeed for example?
Click to expand...

not really man I don't think sitting in front of a computer all day is any better than fapping tbh. my hand eye coordination sucks anyway

@used car I'd love to scoop up some shitbucket but I'm sketched out about it breaking down here, this is the last place you wanna be stranded and I don't have phone service down here. I'll prolly save up for something at least decent yfeelme but it'll take a while sadly

feo1966 · Sep 25, 2016

TheFutureMe said: ↑

Nothing surprising in the way you miss social events and being able to see/meet people. Been in that very same situation back in Australia, and that was one of my worst P phase. I don't think it's boredom that kills your NoFap efforts, I think it's the lack of connection/interaction. Get a used car, shouldn't be too expensive, it'd just be a tool for socializing and a means of freedom. Later on if you see that this works out for you but you're ashamed of that piece of garbage, sell it and invest - it would still serve your interests more than trying to cope with extreme isolation and loose your mind/job/time/sanity over a couple thousand bucks you didn't spend?

Say Hi to the tarentulas for me.
Click to expand...

You are 100% right about isolation. If you Google the experiment for addiction "rat park" , after making the rats addicted to drugs, they placed them in a rat activity center lots of other rats to play with. they found that rats had much less desire for things become addicted to.

But it's more than just social isolation. Any form of psychological pain. During the Vietnam War, high percentage of the soldiers were addicted to drugs like heroin. However, once they got away from the pain of war, most of them stop using.

Any form of psychological pain makes giving up PMO or any addiction difficult.

There are some things you can do to lift your mood. The lovingkindness or compassion meditation has been shown to increase feelings of connectedness. Do it with a smile on your face, and it lifts your mood even more.

How about getting a dog or a cat? You get to give and get some affection.

Best of luck to you

blowfish111 · Sep 26, 2016

spliffy said: ↑

what helped distract you if leaving the house wasn't an option?
Click to expand...

This was the question i was replying to.
If you HAVE to stay in the house,you dont have a wide variety of possibilities connecting to friends.
You dont play ALL DAY LONG,you play maybe two hours every second day.But you laugh together,fight together,fail or win together.
Btw not every game is action based (hand eye coordination).You can play chess as well.
If you have had this one hour of fun with friends,the lonely hours afterwards wouldnt have a that much of a negative impact on you.

As i am an artist i spend very long periods of time working on my projects.Sometimes for days nonstop.But after a few days of absolute loneliness,I feel strange.
I feel anxiety building up.I call my friends,who are gaming almost evry evening,and play with them for two hours.After that i am good to go again.

Deleted Account · Sep 26, 2016

blowfish111 said: ↑

This was the question i was replying to.
If you HAVE to stay in the house,you dont have a wide variety of possibilities connecting to friends.
You dont play ALL DAY LONG,you play maybe two hours every second day.But you laugh together,fight together,fail or win together.
Btw not every game is action based (hand eye coordination).You can play chess as well.
If you have had this one hour of fun with friends,the lonely hours afterwards wouldnt have a that much of a negative impact on you.

As i am an artist i spend very long periods of time working on my projects.Sometimes for days nonstop.But after a few days of absolute loneliness,I feel strange.
I feel anxiety building up.I call my friends,who are gaming almost evry evening,and play with them for two hours.After that i am good to go again.
Click to expand...

ohh that's a super rad idea, chess is kickass.

blowfish111 · Sep 26, 2016

spliffy said: ↑

ohh that's a super rad idea, chess is kickass.
Click to expand...

Chess is ok....Mahjong rules!!!

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