Coming here after two years of trial and error

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by akashs, Oct 10, 2019.

Do you relate with the situation and struggle being presented here?

  1. To a large extent, yes.

    3 vote(s)
    100.0%
  2. To some extent.

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  3. Not at all.

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  1. akashs

    akashs Fapstronaut

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    I embarked on the nofap journey a couple days ago and would want to continue forever. A few details about me..

    I have been doing PMO since the age of 14 without realizing that I had become an addict. I am 28 now. A couple years ago, I stumbled upon the word nofap and got interested. Watched a lot of youtube videos, read a lot of forums and finally realized how great of an addict I was. I thought this is it. I am going to stop masturbating forever now.
    Little did I know about addiction and its urges. I was extremely high on motivation when I first read about this and so my first streak lasted for around 10 days or more. But, then as it happens with any addict, I relapsed. And then again and then again. My brain welcomed me to the dark world of being an addict.

    I kept on trying to stop. Months went by and then finally, I thought, enough is enough. Something kicked in the brain and I recently got my longest streak of 44 days. While on the streak, I tried not to even think about sex. I thought I was recovering fast. But, the forums had filled my brain with the superhuman benefits of nofap and I was not seeing even 1% of it. That demotivated me and I relapsed. Again!

    So, the sequence of relapse started again. Now, I am short of ideas and so, came here. More for support and public accountability than for anything else. I have initialized my PMO counter.

    I blatantly spurted out my story here to help people going through similar circumstances and also seek help from people on I could have done better and could do better to continue the new nofap journey forever and ever.
    I do not have much energy left to go back to relapse mode and start over. So, please guys help me out and keep me motivated.
     
    Last edited: Oct 13, 2019
  2. akashs

    akashs Fapstronaut

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    Every day not fapped is a battle won!
    I am planning to reward myself frequently enough to keep me motivated in the long run (maybe daily to begin with?). You guys can also apply the same strategy to get yourself going in this journey.
     
  3. Tiger uppercut!

    Tiger uppercut! Nofap Moderator
    Staff Member

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    My Journal
    Hello and welcome! :)

    We are glad to have you as a part of our community. Here are some quick links to get you started.

    Getting Started Guide | How to Use the NoFap Forums | Panic Button | Day Counter | Rebooting Resources | Forum Rules | Glossary

    If you wish to keep a journal of your progress you can do so in the appropriate section found here

    You can also take part in one of the many challenges available. It can be a tremendous help. Challenges

    Also, there are groups you can also join if you wish to do so. You can browse through them here. Groups

    There are plenty of wonderful, friendly and knowledgeable people here to help you along on your journey to a life free of PMO. I wish you nothing but the best!
     
  4. akashs

    akashs Fapstronaut

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    Third day conquered without a single thought about sex or porn.

    I realized that I hadn't mentioned that I am 28 years old. Added in the original post.
    So, I have a daily job with female coworkers and being in a marriageable age, I find myself attracted to a few of my female coworkers. I am also guilty of the fact that I have fantasized about a couple of them in the bathroom. I am also guilty of checking out the body of every girl that meets my eyes.
    In this journey, I want to cleanse and beat everything including this guilt.

    And so, I have taken up another challenge upon myself of not noticing a female's body when I am out of my house. Interacting with a girl is OK (and is a part of the job), but only by maintaining eye contact. This will exude confidence as well.

    I have done pretty well on this front for the past couple days. I haven't looked below the eyes of any female.
    I know this all sounds pretty messed up, but I just want to take this challenge one step further for the initial few days, upto a few weeks or so, as I am extremely high on motivation at this stage.

    Let's see how this goes. Hoping for the best.
     
    Last edited: Oct 13, 2019
  5. Hitmonchan

    Hitmonchan New Fapstronaut

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    Hey, just wanted to say that I recognize your situation.
    I don't think it can be good if we always turn to MO'ing ourselves in the bathroom after seeing a sexy woman.
    More often than not, we should probably be in control of the arousal, and sometimes, when it's right, we should probably try to make contact and build some connection with the person.
    Wishing you good fortune in the challenges to come!
     
  6. akashs

    akashs Fapstronaut

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    Thanks man!
    It really helps to know that someone out there understands the situation.
     
  7. Rex salazar

    Rex salazar Fapstronaut

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    Welcome Akash we're glad to see you remember there is only one person who can help you and only one person who can do the opposite it's you so explore NoFap and try the meditation section
    Best wishes
     
  8. akashs

    akashs Fapstronaut

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    Onto day 5.
    I live alone and it being a Sunday, I am getting a lot of urges. Guess the first week is the toughest to tuck under.
    Will definitely treat myself today if I make it through.
     
    Hitmonchan likes this.
  9. akashs

    akashs Fapstronaut

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    One of the most brutal things happened to me this morning.

    You know, several minutes before you are about to wake up, you are having dreams? I was too except that today they were extremely sexual in nature. After several minutes of porn shown to me by my brain, it said that you may as well masturbate now as you are already full of sexual thoughts. It made the argument that it is only the sixth day of nofap (yes, even in my dreams, my brain was conscious of the day. This may be because I have given it a very high importance and have ingrained it the subconscious) and even if you masturbate, you can always start over. And so, I went to the bathroom and I was about to have my relapse again, albeit in a dream.
    Right at that moment I woke up with a jerk. I realized that I am hard and there was precum. I was about to have a wet dream. And the thoughts of the dream played all over me.

    But, I went past it. It took a lot of will power to get over this behemoth urge.

    Man, getting over addiction is extremely difficult. And this is only the sixth day..
    How can I stop my own brain from betraying me in the unconscious state?
     
    Last edited: Oct 13, 2019

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