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Discussion in 'Accountability Partners' started by Halibut, Apr 15, 2019.
check in. messed up but it was yesterday. day 1 for me!
Someone made a thread about tips 3 years ago on nofap which will benefit most people on here.
I think putting this link after the 10 tips you listed would be nice to people on here.
Thanks for this. It's really handy to have a list of quick, practical tasks.
Hey guys checking in. Sorry I haven't been posting much lately. I still get on and read and keep up with the group just taking a break from posting my page long post and letting everyone have a chance. Things have been going really well. I am by no means cured or free from this I continue to work at it everyday. But to be honest in the past couple weeks I've started to forget what day I was on. It is getting easier. My urges still come and go but Im learning what cause them and the real root of my triggers. I continue to use all the tools Ive learned from others and continue to learn and grow everyday. @Halibut congrats on where you are at. I know you are using alot of the same tools from Pornfree radio that I use and ill be honest with out that I wouldn't have ever made it this far. To everyone else in this group there is light at the end of the tunnel. It took me almost 2 years to get to this point but now I am here and Im not looking back. Keep learning growing and moving forward.
Thanks for the link, there looks like a lot of useful information on there - will put it on the post
Hey @RTBFOP, good to here from you man, glad things are going well for you and that its getting easier. Your thrashing right now!
I have noticed too that as the days go by things start to become clearer and easier but - as said on pornfree radio, we shouldnt become complacent though and remove those barrier from the triggers. e.g start having the laptop back in the bedroom again. I recommend pornfree radio to anyone.
I am feeling a bit down with work and other things at the moment which draws the mind back to ideas of PMO as a way to feel better. I just know after though the guilt and shame after is never going to be worth it. The idea of about reaching a month though helps to pick me up.
Buddy, (don't wanna seem like an asshole so please don't get me wrong. I'm just curious) if you're married, why do you watch P. Do you choose it over your wife? Or are there other issues?
Ah also your boy Golden is checking in at day 17 ^___^
Guys, so I'm cutting edging out as well. Last time I edged was 3 days ago and I noticed that I don't feel like my 100% afterwards. I remember I once edged for 15 minutes back then, I was basically just approaching the edge real close, slowing down, and then going back to it. I didn't relapsed that time either, but I felt euphoric where everything and even the TV looked fuzzy. I'm glad to say that I won't be edging at all and would rather relapse, simply because edging makes me feel uneasy for the whole day without any pleasure. But just because I'll rather relapse than edge doesn't mean I'm going to relapse, because relapsing knocks me down worse than edging. Just not going to edge because it doesn't give anything, it only takes without giving anything back.
@Halibut. Hang in there buddy. You have worked hard to get where you are. Did you set a reward to go along with your consequence? Ill share mine with you . I shared my consequence awhile but I also set a 30 day reward. Ive been wanting a new grill for awhile so that was going to be my 30 day goal. I wouldn't get it till I made 30 days. Well at about day 10 the grill I wanted went on a crazy good sale price I couldnt pass up. I bought the grill with the rule that I would not take it out of the box and assemble it till I made 30 days. If I relapsed not only did I have to put my original consequences in affect but I would have to wait 30 more days till I could use the grill. Talk about one more thing to motivate me. I had to look at the grill sitting in the box in my garage for 20 days. I made my 30 day goal assembled the grill and celebrating a small victory the first time I got to use it. My 60 day goal isn't quite as fancy but I really needed something to help drive me those first 30 days. Use all the tools you have and stay on track. Im here with you and we will get there one day at a time.
Wow... idk if this day is temporary like my past days, but damn... I woke up today and my skin looks healed from acne and 80% healed from acne scars. This is crazy, guys. Because I 1st had this healing crisis in my 1st streak which was 15 days, like I even knew my skin was healing but never knew it was that noticeable to everyone else. My mother even told me one day that my skin looked healthier which made me feel good, because I would have dark acne scars, 3-4 pimples most of the time, and pale skin. These things made me feel self-conscious, and now knowing that NoFap fixes this?! It's a 'must' to do NoFap in my case. This is basically the only skin care routine that I need instead of a face wash + moisturizer. Even in the past when I would still fap, my face wash and moisturizer wouldn't do a thing. I'm about to move up to day 12 in 3 hours, but guys, I can't stop. Gotta keep going until I beat everyone in this group!!!
Hey thanks @RTBFOP, thats a very good point I need a reward too! Some positive reinforcement rather than just negative reinforcement.
Will have a think tonight about what I could have as a reward to get my through the next 30 days!
What you rewarding yourself with for the 60day goal?
Just saw that you went over 30 days! That's sweet! Keep on going and force your brain to rewire. I'm right here with you, bro. There's going to be bad days as always, but I hear when you pass those days it's when improvement is around the corner.
I have read the rules and would like to become an AP
Edging is a relapse btw. First of all, it is masturbation which means resetting your counter. But it much worse than that...
Hey guys, Welcome to the newcomers! We are in this together. @Halibut @RTBFOP Congrats on your streak, you are doing amazing.
I haven't been posting lately but I always read all your messages. Because I am currently busy with my finals exams also because I was ashamed of myself. After my first relapse last week, I went full hardcore every day on PMO. I was thinking well you don't have a streak anymore so why not PMO? even though I knew it was wrong. Well took me a while to get back on track as I finally decided to break this vicious habit that was returning strong after three weeks of not PMOing. The one thing that was actually crazy is how I felt my brain going nuts after finally looking at porn again. I honestly don't know how to describe it as I never felt something like this before. I guess that how it feels when your brain finally gets a drug its been craving.
I went back in nofap mindset on Friday and now I have a 3 days streak going. I feel really motivated to make it to 30 days.
@Pashka @freedomispossible @pourover24 (sorry for your streak) Let's make 30 days together one week at a time!!! No excuses!
@Legit1 you're doing well! you have to reach 30 days before us.
Welcome @cosi27 to the group, hope you find the support you are looking for here
Thanks @Realquiter, hope your finals are going well mate, we are here to support you to those 30days and beyond!
Back to day 1.
I am struggling. I actually feel I have gone backwards.
Did anyone find an effect like this when trying NoFap?
Checking in for the first time in too long and sadly it's to say I relapsed.
Part of the reason I'm sure is not checking enough on here. I relapsed on Friday but have been to ashamed to come on here and truly admit what happened since. Goddamn pals, reading what I've missed this past week, nearly brings tears to my eyes. Great stuff, those who've relapsed and those who haven't, so much honesty and openness, it really is great to read. Keep it up APs.
So I had a horrifically bad week involving long travel, further evidence the company I work for really is trash, being patronised and shot down, not enough sleep. I cracked. It ground me down into a little child again and I reached for comfort and numbness. Chaser and all.
I immediately felt cognitively impaired, disconnected to my environment and disinterested in anything; getting up, having a shower, tidying my room, seeing my SO. And yet I'd been on fire the past 2 weeks.
Luckily I spent the next morning reading Russell Brand's book 'recovery' and, although it's too early to tell how good it is, it got me in the right mindset. I did step 1 of the 12 steps and it substantially recovered my mindset at least.
So here we go again. I'm determined to do this. @Halibut love the emergency list, I'm making some stricter general rules for myself this time too. @pourover24 knowing you're going through this battle while juggling 3 kids gives me hope and strength, keep at it brother.
I'm also taking serious steps now to change my career and overhaul lots of my life that isn't aligned with who and where I want to be.
I'm so glad to have this group and wish every one of you strength for this challenge. Let's recover who we were meant to be.
Stay strong APs
Thank your for your support