Committed AP Group With Leaderboard

Discussion in 'Accountability Partners' started by Halibut, Apr 15, 2019.

  1. Journey to Resilience

    Journey to Resilience Fapstronaut

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    Exercise will most certainly help. Although I don't mean to undermine your efforts, but it's easier to catch coronavirus in a gym because lots of people frequent there. If you still want to continue, I found a video from "Scooby1961" that gives out tips on being at the gym and safe from the virus. I'd actually recommend Scooby's channel in general. It's very friendly to people of all fitness levels. I'll link it below. Scooby is a bodybuilder who has lots of experience in competitions and overall gives solid fitness and nutritional advice. The best part is, it's entirely free and he also has a site that creates meal plans for you (, also free). The only thing is, he is retired and won't do any more new fitness videos. But he will keep all his previous content online and create new non-fitness videos.

    "Scooby1961" YouTube Channel:
    https://www.youtube.com/user/scooby1961/playlists

    Scooby's Coronavirus Safety Video:
     
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  2. pourover24

    pourover24 Fapstronaut

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    Checking in guys - its been a fairly quiet week as far as urges go, which I am grateful for. Loopholes are closed, and that is a massive help. I'm a bit down lately with all the virus stuff - hopefully you guys are getting along alright in the face of that as well.

    I am feeling some urges today, which is why I came on here. Nothing crazy, just more the temptation to look around a bit - see if there's any new loopholes I can find or interesting P-subs. So I'm here instead - I don't want to go down that road, as we all know where it leads.

    I think when I've gotten to this point in the past, I'll start to forget the lessons I've learned or the immense pain of being in a rough stretch of a few relapses in a week. Its almost like P seems like not a big deal anymore, or my brain has moved on to other things - and I get complacent. I can't get complacent though, I need to treat this just as I would if I'd relapsed yesterday.

    One of my biggest issues still, in terms of opening a loophole, is asking my wife to unlock my app store so I can download a new, needed app - and then in the process, downloading additional apps that will lead me to relapse. I need to have it as a non-negotiable rule that I don't do that anymore. I know in my heart that if I relapse again in the near future, this method will probably be the main culprit. I think my main rule needs to be that the app needs to be downloaded while my wife is still there with me in the same room, and then quickly have her relock the phone. If I wander off to "download the app" - it's bad news.
     
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  3. Legit1

    Legit1 Fapstronaut

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    Day 53! Let's keep on going! NoFap squad for life!

    Okay, in all seriousness, I'm feeling the benefits rising up! Also feeling more calm as well. We need to keep on going as much as possible, guys!
     
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  4. Journey to Resilience

    Journey to Resilience Fapstronaut

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    Day 1: 3-16-20
    Just want to check in. I almost relapsed today, but I made it through in one piece. There was some left over P I forgot about in my computer, but deleted it anyways despite temptations.
     
  5. somethingness

    somethingness Fapstronaut

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  6. muhagg

    muhagg Fapstronaut

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    @Halibut
     
  7. Legit1

    Legit1 Fapstronaut

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    Day 57. Wow... idk what came over me today but, I feel tired, negative, and just not like myself. It's like today is the worst day I've felt ever since starting this streak. The tiredness over everything else is the most noticeable... I'm not going to relapse today or anything, but damn... I guess I'm just going to have to go through this since there's no other way
     
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  8. pourover24

    pourover24 Fapstronaut

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    Hey guys, I am feeling it a bit today. Ok, I'm feeling it more than a bit. I'm on a really nice run - but for some reason - the drive to find P is raging right now. It isn't easy or convenient to do right now, as I'm not home alone anymore right now with my family home as we are trying to practice social distancing. So, that is a blessing for sure.

    I'm not sure why this is happening, but it is truly unfair for my brain to try to tell me that P is the greatest thing ever when it has done untold damage to me and others I care about. I can't let these thoughts rage - I will fight back and tell myself that giving any ground would be a mistake. Seriously guys, don't give in to a temporary high that you will surely regret later.

    @Legit1 Understand that there will simply be days like this. I've had them for sure. Yesterday, I felt like my head was under a fog all day, with a vice-grip pressing in on my sinuses. It's not easy, but you're not alone.

    @Journey to Resilience: Great job deleting the P man - that is NOT easy to do, I've been there. That was huge by you to step up in that way - nice job man!
     
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  9. Legit1

    Legit1 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for sharing out, bro. I was honestly feeling negative yesterday. The thoughts I was getting from porn were getting real bad, and to make it worse, 'frustration' kept rising up every time I would resist. Honestly, I'm kinda surprised that I didn't relapsed... because the old me would give up.

    Today has been a bit better, but I won't be surprised if I start feeling worse again, since I feel like only a slight of improvement developed. Will keep on going!

    Edit: So I'm going to come out and say that I'm giving up on watching porn. I'm feeling the need to keep up with NoFap for as long as I can when it comes to busting out. But back to the porn... unfortunately, I would still watch some of that there and there. I just always felt like I needed to watch that in order to get some type of excitement, but that's it. I'm done watching that. I need to get serious and start the deep healing by not watching that anymore. Lately, I would watch it and just seriously wonder why I'm like this... it just doesn't make me feel right.

    So I decided to start another counter away from this site and start tracking my days on it as well. It all finally just hit me that I'm still trying to escape reality by watching porn... so I'm ready to take another step towards recovery by abandoning that trash from here on out.
     
    Last edited: Mar 18, 2020
    Journey to Resilience likes this.
  10. I have read the rules and would like to become an AP. I know the group is full, but can you put me on the waiting list?
    I'm struggling to do this alone, and I hope that this group can help me a little bit.

    (I'm at day one by the way, the day counter take time to reset)
     
  11. pourover24

    pourover24 Fapstronaut

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    Checking in - DAMN. Another day with a lot of struggles with urges. I've tried to really be aware of where my thoughts are at today - and I think I came up with a couple of realizations:

    1) Often when I get to around the 30+ day mark in the past, which has been fairly rare, I reach a breaking point. Urges start to overwhelm me to the point that I can't seem to think about anything else. My dick often will almost feel throbby - like it is craving PMO. It fucking sucks so bad. I don't know how else to put it. It seems to be almost all I can think about - people talk about urges going away - but these seem like they are harder for some reason to escape. However, I want to make it this time.

    2) The urges seem to originate from a need to find relief from these feelings - not even necessarily to look at P. Its like I feel miserable as a person in these moments - almost like bodily - there seems to be very real pain. But from what - I'm not sure - but its like my body and mind are going into depression in a way. In these moments, which I felt a lot of today - I just wanted to be set free from it - and it seemed that the only way was to do PMO.

    I didn't give in, but this is hard. Right now, all our kids are home - I have no time to get anything done - and I'm trying to maintain my sanity (with my wife by my side) as we try to maintain order while total chaos seems around the corner at every moment. Making food for kids, now trying to homeschool them - and just generally trying survive the chaos. At times, I've found enjoyment. At other times, I feel miserable and helpless.

    Well, there it is. I'm pretty raw right now - I hope you guys are keeping up the good fight.
     
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  12. Legit1

    Legit1 Fapstronaut

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    Wow... thanks a lot for sharing out, I really needed to read something like that. I've honestly been thinking I'm the only one feeling depressed and craving to watch porn in order to alleviate these feelings.

    Let's keep on going, bro! It's tough as hell, but it has to get better soon enough, it just has to.
     
  13. Legit1

    Legit1 Fapstronaut

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    Finally at day 60. Pretty sure I'm at a point where my brain has stopped the benefits in order to trick me into relapse. Symptoms I'm feeling are agitation, low energy, feeling dull, and can't think straight at some points. I'm sure all these symptoms are there in order to convince me that this NoFap thing is useless.

    No matter how negative I'm feeling I won't relapse. I won't lie, this thing is tough as heck, because at some points I feel like throwing it away. But I know that I must give it more time, even though this type of setback occured 4 days ago. I just need to keep being strong no matter how tough it's been getting.

    Also, I'm not sure how much I'm able to go, but I honestly feel if these symptoms keep on going -- I feel like I'm going to last about 3 more days. I really am not looking towards a relapse, but that's how bad my recovery is going... this thing just sucks
     
    Last edited: Mar 21, 2020
  14. Journey to Resilience

    Journey to Resilience Fapstronaut

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    3-21-20: Day 4
    • I am typing this in the middle of the night because I was woken up with strong urges.
    • I don't want to look at P and I will do everything not to.
    • I realized just how dependent I am on P. On average, I do PM 1-2 times daily. When I give it effort, I usually last 1-2 days although it's still not much. I believe that I just have to keep pushing through this.
    • I am making my goals a lot smaller. 3 days is already an accomplishment for me. If I can aim for the week or at least 5 days, it would already be a victory to me. I know I have such a long way to go, but I need to keep going.
     
    Last edited: Mar 22, 2020
    Halibut likes this.
  15. Legit1

    Legit1 Fapstronaut

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    Damn... I'm grateful that most of these symptoms have parted away... I swear, I was feeling so damn trashy that I felt I would have some sort of mental breakdown if these symptoms would have gone for 4 more days. Man... I must keep on going.

    I will record this setback in my memories to make sure I will always keep on going. I kept on going these last 4 days because I would remind of how I was feeling almost the same during day 21 to day 27 on this streak, which was enough fuel to make me not want to relapse and go through all this crap again.
     
  16. Halibut

    Halibut Fapstronaut
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    Hello all, sorry for the gap inbetween posts - have been moving into a new flat and been busy with work

    Unfortunately its going to be one of those posts - confessing a relapse yesterday :(

    This one is a hard one to admit to after such a long streak but I need to draw a line in the sand to get past it or I will just keep making excuses

    you dont make any change until you run out of 'buts'!

    I am going to reset the counter to 0 but I do not think that I have reversed all my progress - I want the feeling of pride by getting through those 90days without having to use porn as a vice to combat my stress, boredom or pure habit.

    I am taking hope in the fact that in those 45ish days that I never 'o'ed to porn - so that will help somewhat to recovery.

    Keep going guys, its a rough road this journey to recovery

    I will match you guys in abstinence April!
     
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  17. Halibut

    Halibut Fapstronaut
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    Glad you kept going @Legit1 - good to see such great numbers on the board
     
  18. Journey to Resilience

    Journey to Resilience Fapstronaut

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    Day 7: 3-23-20
    • Finished Day 6. On Day 7.
    • I am really surprised I made it this far :eek:! Normally, I last only 1-2 days. 3 at most. I am taking it one day at a time, though.
    • I did have temptations, but I also prayed a lot and had work which helped out a lot. I also watched NoFap videos when the urges arose.
    • There are these two channels that helped me through recent temptations: "Unapologetically Free" and "Teachingmensfashion".
    • "Free" is specifically for NoFap and there's a lot of good insight to PM addiction itself. I would definitely recommend it even though there hasn't been new videos in months. Again, still great insights!
    • "Mens Fashion" is exactly how it sounds, a channel focusing on mens fashion and self-improvement. However, there were 2 videos on quitting porn that saved me from relapsing. I'll link those too.
    Unapologetically Free:
    https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCVuDWpFicAWrAtrkojYwAHg


    Teachingmensfashion:

     
  19. Legit1

    Legit1 Fapstronaut

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    Day 63. It only gets tougher to relapse since I'm already pretty far, and also the idea to get to other milestones like day 90, day 120 and so on seems awesome to achieve. If I relapse, then it'll only take longer to get to those milestones.
     
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  20. Journey to Resilience

    Journey to Resilience Fapstronaut

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    Day 8: 3-24-20
    :emoji_star2::emoji_tada:Finished Day 7!!!:emoji_tada::emoji_star2:
    • Working on Day 8. Hoping to beat my recent record of 9 days.
    • Had a lot of temptations. I did entertain sexual thoughts, but mostly just let them pass by. Although I did ultimately talk myself out of the urges.
    • Currently feeling well. In a good mood. I will pray more in case I need to combat the urges later today.
     

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